Read Online Around the World in 80 Dates by Jennifer Cox - Free Book Online

to take in a lot of information and make a lot of decisions very quickly.”
    The Love Professor warmed to the subject. “When two people are attracted, we send messages that we are interested and want to become better acquainted, often by mimicking each other’s actions. If a woman strokes her hair, the man will make the same movement a second later. After a while, if everything works and there is a mutual interest, there will be a perfect synchronicity. We tend to like a partner who is a reflection of ourselves: A person who mirrors you in such a positive way is very easy to fall in love with.”
    Presumably the same was true from a negative perspective, too: If you felt like rubbish, were you more likely to pick a partner who made you feel you were rubbish?
    Again, the Love Professor concurred. “If you have a secure and positive image of yourself—being nice, liking yourself—you will be more likely to pick someone who sees and affirms that in you. However, if your self-esteem is absent or very low, you find it harder to believe there is someone else out there like you or who will like you.”
    I could see how that would be true. “So you’re saying: Work at making yourself feel good before you get involved with anyone else, because they’ll only be good for you if you’re good to yourself.” But what did this mean for me? I was a pretty positive person—generally cheerful and comfortable with myself—yet I had chosen relationships that had not been in my best interest. Wasn’t it possible there were other important factors that played a role in who you chose as your partner? I had my own theory on the subject and wanted to ask the Love Professor what he thought of it.
    â€œSo, to go back to the idea of selection. I have a theory—which I’m hoping is wrong—about work and relationships. Basically, work is where we meet our partners, but work is more demanding than ever, and men are coping less well with the pressure than women. As a result, working women find their jobs the most emotionally satisfying relationships in their lives, so they either settle for so-so romances or end up chronically single. Could there be any truth in this?”
    The Love Professor thought for a moment. “Traditionally, the most important reason for being in a relationship was to reproduce: Couples married and had children. The man supported the family; the woman stayed at home and looked after it. Most women these days are not looking for partners in order to have babies, or at least not right away. A change has taken place in a very short period of time; men and women have become more equal. Although we have acknowledged the change, we have yet to address how the needs and expectations of relationships have changed as a result.”
    I genuinely found this sad and disturbing: Was the implication that men were only attracted to women who wanted to have children? I tried to get it straight in my head:
    â€œYou talk about how we telegraph information in nonverbal ways, through smell, etcetera…. If women want careers, could we be unconsciously transmitting a desire not to have children and be less desirable or attractive to potential partners as a result?”
    The Love Professor considered what I was asking. “I don’t know about that, but body odors are certainly affected by high levels of stress. Working too much, too many problems, no time for leisure, etcetera, can—on a subconscious level—be recognized in the way you smell.”
    So maybe the issue wasn’t about wanting or not wanting kids; it was that career women literally smelled like hard work. I felt the need to bring the conversation back around to me. “But I’ve quit my job, I’m not stressed, and I’ve nurtured a positive self-image. I should be smelling relaxed, right?”
    The Love Professor nodded noncommittally, not sure where this was going but