Read Online Around the World in 80 Dates by Jennifer Cox - Free Book Online Page A

willing to let me carry on until I got there. I got there: “Do you think I’m going to meet Mr. Right?”
    Faced with such an emotionally charged question, the Love Professor retreated to the safety of science. “Our research has shown that when you are waiting or starving for a relationship, you will be very open to all types of stimuli that will tell you this is the right person. That means you will probably be quite uncritical….”
    The scientific way of saying “desperate”…
    â€œLooking at it from a scientific view,” the Love Professor said evenly, “when two people meet and get involved, they each bring their own history with them. How you bring these histories together provides the condition for the future of your relationship. A person who gives you too much of his ‘history’ shows an inability to choose or prioritize his relationships.”
    This reminded me of a guy I dated, Grant—“I’m separated, I just forgot to tell my wife.” He seemed incapable of going anywhere without at least two of his friends, and his cell phone never stopped ringing when we were out. It baffled him that I thought this was a problem.
    â€œAnd also, from the opposite perspective, it can be quite disappointing when the one you want to share your life with will not share very much of his or her own life with you. The person who will not share their past is unlikely to see you in their future.”
    This was Kelly: Captain Compartmentalize, never wanting me to meet his family or friends.
    Interesting stuff, but, looking at my watch, I realized I was running out of time. I was meeting my friend Ann-Charlotte for a drink at 6 p.m. to hear about tomorrow’s date with her foxy-sounding friend Anders.
    I asked if, after all his measuring and dissecting, the Love Professor believed in the existence of Love.
    He answered immediately, with total conviction and heartfelt certainty: “Yes, yes, I think it exists. And there is so much data supporting this. Being touched and caressed by your partner will stimulate the brain to release the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin—both have been linked to our ability to forge strong and lasting emotional bonds. When you meet someone you’re attracted to, within two seconds your heart rate will increase dramatically, your blood pressure goes up, muscle tension increases, and your intestines shut off, giving you that ‘butterflies in stomach’ sensation.
    â€œYour brain should interpret this as enjoyable,” he added helpfully.
    â€œBut I always get really anxious and start babbling,” I confessed. “I talk far too much and make far too many hand gestures. And in my head I’m going, Shut up, shut up, you’re being weird, but I find it really hard to stop.” I said all this in a small, pained voice, before asking equally pathetically: “I mean, do guys find that attractive?”
    The Love Professor looked at me sympathetically, clearly thinking, This woman will have died of anxiety-induced exhaustion by the end of eight dates, let alone eighty. He took a deep breath, paused a moment to find the right words, then said: “I think this is a way of handling a fear of losing control. One way—which is perhaps not the best way—to try and regain control is to talk, talk, talk.”
    He said this very gently as I hid my face and squirmed on the park bench. Bemused parents out walking with their kids—memories of the horrors of dating long erased—looked over quizzically. I caught sight of my watch; it really was time to go. I had a lot of information, but did the Love Professor have just one tip for my date tomorrow? Was there one thing above all others that I should do?
    He looked at me with the kindly expression of someone who knows no amount of advice will help. “I think you should not plan too much,” he said simply. “Just let it happen. Use all your