Read Online The SEAL Next Door (Alpha SEALs Book 5) by Makenna Jameison - Free Book Online
Authors: Makenna Jameison
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moment and then shook his head slowly. “I’m not really the relationship type.”
“You never have been,” she agreed.
Matthew laughed, a loud chuckle that warmed her insides. “Been keeping tabs, huh?”
“What? No, nothing like that,” she protested.
“I don’t mind. If I was the type of man to settle down, it would be with someone like you.”
She paused, her heart suddenly racing. Had he just admitted what she thought he did? “So you seriously don’t think you’ll ever get married?” She nervously played with her near-empty glass, listening to the ice clink. Why did his answer suddenly matter so much? Like the whole world hinged on his response.
Matthew shook his head. “We deploy all the time. It works for some of the guys, maybe. But I couldn’t leave a woman like that. I’d worry about her, and I need my head in the game. Guys make mistakes when their concentration is on something other than this mission. On the other men on their team. Plus, if I ever had kids….No, I just couldn’t stomach being gone with my family at home wondering what happened to me, where I was, and when I’d be back. I wouldn’t put a woman through that.”
Brianna nodded, swallowing. Her skin tingled, and her stomach did a strange little flip. He almost looked regretful that he couldn’t be in a relationship…almost like he wished he could start something with her. Matthew watched her carefully, and she took a sip of the beer the bartender placed in front of her. This was crazy—the entire night had been surreal. Dancing with Matthew earlier, having a little heart-to-heart now. Tomorrow she’d wake up, and this entire conversation wouldn’t even matter. It would be like it had never happened. So why, at the moment, did it feel like her heart was being crushed by something beyond her control? Matthew had left Pensacola years ago. Why pretend they could be something now?
Matthew licked his lips, looking more than anything like he wanted to bend down and kiss her. She knew he wouldn’t—couldn’t. But for the brief second their eyes met, an understanding passed between them. He could never give her what she wanted. The crazy thing was, he almost looked like he wanted it himself.
***
Matthew walked Brianna back to the car an hour later, her keys dangling from his hand as he loosely draped his arm around her slender shoulders. She felt small and fragile beneath the bulk of his arm, and he felt a strange urge to pull her closer. To tuck her body against his and not let go.
The salty ocean breeze blew across the parking lot, and that combined with Brianna’s light floral scent and that long blonde hair of hers tickling his skin as it blew in the wind?
Torture.
It stirred up all sorts of feelings he didn’t want to acknowledge. Made him think of all sorts of futures he shouldn’t contemplate.
Dancing with her had been heaven. The perfect excuse to pull her into his arms, if only for the evening. He’d never had an excuse to pull her close before. She’d been young and fresh-faced when he left to join the military. Cute in that sweet girl-next-door way, but not someone he could ever have. And to finally get a reason tonight to have her in his arms? Feeling those soft curves of Brianna’s pushed up against him had been hell. Because she was everything he could never have.
Something had shifted between them after his revelation that he couldn’t ever be in a relationship—he’d seen the interest and then inevitable disappointment in her eyes. It was crazy that out of all the women he’d ever been with, if he could settle down, Brianna might be the one. Life was just full of crazy shit, wasn’t it?
“I had fun tonight,” Brianna murmured sleepily, glancing up at him with those sea green eyes. “I didn’t know you could dance like that. Wait until I tell Beckett.”
Matthew stiffened, recalling the slow
“You never have been,” she agreed.
Matthew laughed, a loud chuckle that warmed her insides. “Been keeping tabs, huh?”
“What? No, nothing like that,” she protested.
“I don’t mind. If I was the type of man to settle down, it would be with someone like you.”
She paused, her heart suddenly racing. Had he just admitted what she thought he did? “So you seriously don’t think you’ll ever get married?” She nervously played with her near-empty glass, listening to the ice clink. Why did his answer suddenly matter so much? Like the whole world hinged on his response.
Matthew shook his head. “We deploy all the time. It works for some of the guys, maybe. But I couldn’t leave a woman like that. I’d worry about her, and I need my head in the game. Guys make mistakes when their concentration is on something other than this mission. On the other men on their team. Plus, if I ever had kids….No, I just couldn’t stomach being gone with my family at home wondering what happened to me, where I was, and when I’d be back. I wouldn’t put a woman through that.”
Brianna nodded, swallowing. Her skin tingled, and her stomach did a strange little flip. He almost looked regretful that he couldn’t be in a relationship…almost like he wished he could start something with her. Matthew watched her carefully, and she took a sip of the beer the bartender placed in front of her. This was crazy—the entire night had been surreal. Dancing with Matthew earlier, having a little heart-to-heart now. Tomorrow she’d wake up, and this entire conversation wouldn’t even matter. It would be like it had never happened. So why, at the moment, did it feel like her heart was being crushed by something beyond her control? Matthew had left Pensacola years ago. Why pretend they could be something now?
Matthew licked his lips, looking more than anything like he wanted to bend down and kiss her. She knew he wouldn’t—couldn’t. But for the brief second their eyes met, an understanding passed between them. He could never give her what she wanted. The crazy thing was, he almost looked like he wanted it himself.
***
Matthew walked Brianna back to the car an hour later, her keys dangling from his hand as he loosely draped his arm around her slender shoulders. She felt small and fragile beneath the bulk of his arm, and he felt a strange urge to pull her closer. To tuck her body against his and not let go.
The salty ocean breeze blew across the parking lot, and that combined with Brianna’s light floral scent and that long blonde hair of hers tickling his skin as it blew in the wind?
Torture.
It stirred up all sorts of feelings he didn’t want to acknowledge. Made him think of all sorts of futures he shouldn’t contemplate.
Dancing with her had been heaven. The perfect excuse to pull her into his arms, if only for the evening. He’d never had an excuse to pull her close before. She’d been young and fresh-faced when he left to join the military. Cute in that sweet girl-next-door way, but not someone he could ever have. And to finally get a reason tonight to have her in his arms? Feeling those soft curves of Brianna’s pushed up against him had been hell. Because she was everything he could never have.
Something had shifted between them after his revelation that he couldn’t ever be in a relationship—he’d seen the interest and then inevitable disappointment in her eyes. It was crazy that out of all the women he’d ever been with, if he could settle down, Brianna might be the one. Life was just full of crazy shit, wasn’t it?
“I had fun tonight,” Brianna murmured sleepily, glancing up at him with those sea green eyes. “I didn’t know you could dance like that. Wait until I tell Beckett.”
Matthew stiffened, recalling the slow
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