Read Online Stand Strong: You Can Overcome Bullying (and Other Stuff That Keeps You Down) by Nick Vujicic - Free Book Online
Authors: Nick Vujicic
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awesome! Being gentle is more about practicing humility, giving up the need to be right, putting other people first, being a good listener and a good friend, protecting those who are being abused, and comforting those in need.
I know you’ve heard phrases used like “gentle as a lamb” or “gentle as a dove” or even in commercials for laundry detergents that companies claim are “gentle as a mother’s touch.” But real gentleness, the value that we should all strive for, is much deeper than those phrases would indicate.
Many of the strongest and most admirable people I know are gentle spirits who don’t have to prove how tough they are on the outside because they are so strong on the inside. People withthat quality are my heroes. They have this calmness and quietness about them, but you know their character and their faith are so strong that nothing rattles them.
When I was a teen, I had a tendency—okay, a really bad habit—of wanting to win every argument and especially to always be right. If someone pointed out that I had a fact wrong, I’d still try to bull my way through it just so I could claim I was really right. One day a friend who was fed up with this bad habit of mine said, “Nick, just because you are right doesn’t mean you have to tell me about it every time.”
Zing!
She killed me with kindness! She was both telling me and showing me that the real power lies in being gentle and kind and a good friend—not in being argumentative and forever insistent on being the authority on all things. Selfishness and pride can make us want to be heard and respected, but instead we lose touch with the value of gentleness and quiet strength.
The next time a bully darkens your path, don’t take the bait and respond to taunts with your own harsh words. Instead, consider that maybe God is using the bully to test your inner strength, your quiet power—your ability to be every bit as gentle and strong as Jesus Himself.
The Fruit of Self-Control
A friend asked me to do some counseling with a young guy who had married into his family. Tim was barely into histwenties. He and his wife had been married a couple of years. They had two kids right off the bat, and Tim wasn’t handling his new responsibilities very well. He hadn’t made the switch from the mentality of a single guy who could do anything he wanted, anytime he wanted, to a married guy whose wife and children needed him to be there for them.
Tim also had admitted that he’d been in trouble at work, which had set off alarms in his wife’s family. Basically, he lacked maturity and self-control. I told Tim he needed to be a better example for his kids. “You want them to be proud of you and to see you as a role model, don’t you?” I asked. “As a father, you have to put their needs and their welfare above your own. It all comes down to self-control and realizing that your responsibilities have expanded.”
We had a very friendly, deep discussion. He knew I was just trying to wake him up. I could see that Tim took it to heart, and his actions from then on reflected it. He has been a much better husband and father. He still has ups and downs when he needs to practice more self-control, but then most of us feel that we could benefit from more of this fruit of the Spirit.
The Bible says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” As a teen, I can remember teachers constantly telling me and my classmates, “Okay, everyone, get it under control.” It was strange to hear that back then, because like most teens, I didn’t think I had control over much.I lived with my parents. I had no job and no money. What did I control? Our dog didn’t even listen to me most of the time!
Bullies don’t have control over themselves. They taunt their targets, push them around, and socially isolate them because they are too weak to control their worst impulses and emotions in more productive ways. That’s why using
I know you’ve heard phrases used like “gentle as a lamb” or “gentle as a dove” or even in commercials for laundry detergents that companies claim are “gentle as a mother’s touch.” But real gentleness, the value that we should all strive for, is much deeper than those phrases would indicate.
Many of the strongest and most admirable people I know are gentle spirits who don’t have to prove how tough they are on the outside because they are so strong on the inside. People withthat quality are my heroes. They have this calmness and quietness about them, but you know their character and their faith are so strong that nothing rattles them.
When I was a teen, I had a tendency—okay, a really bad habit—of wanting to win every argument and especially to always be right. If someone pointed out that I had a fact wrong, I’d still try to bull my way through it just so I could claim I was really right. One day a friend who was fed up with this bad habit of mine said, “Nick, just because you are right doesn’t mean you have to tell me about it every time.”
Zing!
She killed me with kindness! She was both telling me and showing me that the real power lies in being gentle and kind and a good friend—not in being argumentative and forever insistent on being the authority on all things. Selfishness and pride can make us want to be heard and respected, but instead we lose touch with the value of gentleness and quiet strength.
The next time a bully darkens your path, don’t take the bait and respond to taunts with your own harsh words. Instead, consider that maybe God is using the bully to test your inner strength, your quiet power—your ability to be every bit as gentle and strong as Jesus Himself.
The Fruit of Self-Control
A friend asked me to do some counseling with a young guy who had married into his family. Tim was barely into histwenties. He and his wife had been married a couple of years. They had two kids right off the bat, and Tim wasn’t handling his new responsibilities very well. He hadn’t made the switch from the mentality of a single guy who could do anything he wanted, anytime he wanted, to a married guy whose wife and children needed him to be there for them.
Tim also had admitted that he’d been in trouble at work, which had set off alarms in his wife’s family. Basically, he lacked maturity and self-control. I told Tim he needed to be a better example for his kids. “You want them to be proud of you and to see you as a role model, don’t you?” I asked. “As a father, you have to put their needs and their welfare above your own. It all comes down to self-control and realizing that your responsibilities have expanded.”
We had a very friendly, deep discussion. He knew I was just trying to wake him up. I could see that Tim took it to heart, and his actions from then on reflected it. He has been a much better husband and father. He still has ups and downs when he needs to practice more self-control, but then most of us feel that we could benefit from more of this fruit of the Spirit.
The Bible says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” As a teen, I can remember teachers constantly telling me and my classmates, “Okay, everyone, get it under control.” It was strange to hear that back then, because like most teens, I didn’t think I had control over much.I lived with my parents. I had no job and no money. What did I control? Our dog didn’t even listen to me most of the time!
Bullies don’t have control over themselves. They taunt their targets, push them around, and socially isolate them because they are too weak to control their worst impulses and emotions in more productive ways. That’s why using
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