him and the problem he presented.
He wondered if it was all subjective, if he was projecting all his hopes onto the dumpy woman. Nevertheless, he wept unself-consciously as he spoke and felt no need to justify it.
He seldom looked at her. Instead, his eyes roamed, lighting on a face, a goblet, a rug, without really seeing anything.
He finished what he had come to say. There were no reliable reports about what might happen next. People who had returned with cures were curiously vague about their interviews with Gaea and about the average of six months they spent inside her after the audience. They would not speak of it, no matter what the inducement.
Gaea watched the screen for a time, took a sip from a long-stemmed glass.
“Fine,” she said. “That’s pretty much what I got from Dulcimer. I’ve examined you thoroughly, I understand your condition, and I can guarantee a cure is possible. Not only for you, of course, but for—”
“Excuse me, but how did you examine—”
“Don’t interrupt. Back to the deal. It
is
a deal, and you probably won’t like it. Dulcimer asked you a question, back at the embassy, and you didn’t answer it. I’m wondering if you have thought about it since and if you have an answer now.”
Chris thought back, suddenly recalled the problem of the two children tied down before an approaching train.
“It doesn’t mean much,” Gaea conceded. “But it’s interesting. There are two answers I can see. One for Gods, and another for humans. Have you thought about it?”
“I did, once.”
“What did you come up with?”
Chris sighed, decided to be honest. “It seems that it’s likely that … if I attempted to rescue either of them, I would probably die while trying to set the second one free. I don’t know which I would free first. But if I tried to free one, I would have to try to free the other.”
“And die.” Gaea nodded. “That’s the human answer. You people do it all the time—go out on a limb to pull back one of your kind and have the limb break under you. Ten rescuers die while looking for one lost hiker. Terrible arithmetic. It’s not universal, of course. Many humans would stand by and watch the train kill both children.” She looked at him narrowly. “Which would you do?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t honestly say I’d sacrifice myself.”
“The answer for a God is easy. A God would let them both die. Individual lives are not important, in other words. While I’m aware of every sparrow that falls, I do nothing to prevent the fall. It’s in the nature of life that things should die. I don’t expect you to like that, to understand it, or to agree with it. I’m just explaining where I stand. Do you see?”
“I think so. I’m not sure.”
Gaea waved it away. “It’s not important that you approve, just that you understand that is how my universe works.”
“That I understand.”
“Fine. I’m not
quite
as impersonal as that. Few Gods are. If there were an afterlife—which, by the way, there isn’t, not in my theogony or in yours—I’d probably be inclined to reward the fellow who jumped onto the tracks and died trying to save those children. I’d take the poor bastard into heaven, if there were one. Unfortunately”—she gestured expansively, with a sour look—“this is the closest anyonewill ever come to heaven, right here. I make no great claims for it; it’s a place, like any other. The food’s okay.
“But if I admire someone for something he or she has done, I reward them in
this
life. Do you follow me?”
“Well, I’m still listening.”
She laughed, reached over, and slapped his knee.
“I like that. Now, I don’t give anything for free. At the same time I don’t sell anything. Cures are awarded on the basis of merit. Dulcimer said you couldn’t think of anything you’d done to deserve a cure. Think again.”
“I’m not sure I know what you want.”
“Well, for things done on Earth it would have to be
He wondered if it was all subjective, if he was projecting all his hopes onto the dumpy woman. Nevertheless, he wept unself-consciously as he spoke and felt no need to justify it.
He seldom looked at her. Instead, his eyes roamed, lighting on a face, a goblet, a rug, without really seeing anything.
He finished what he had come to say. There were no reliable reports about what might happen next. People who had returned with cures were curiously vague about their interviews with Gaea and about the average of six months they spent inside her after the audience. They would not speak of it, no matter what the inducement.
Gaea watched the screen for a time, took a sip from a long-stemmed glass.
“Fine,” she said. “That’s pretty much what I got from Dulcimer. I’ve examined you thoroughly, I understand your condition, and I can guarantee a cure is possible. Not only for you, of course, but for—”
“Excuse me, but how did you examine—”
“Don’t interrupt. Back to the deal. It
is
a deal, and you probably won’t like it. Dulcimer asked you a question, back at the embassy, and you didn’t answer it. I’m wondering if you have thought about it since and if you have an answer now.”
Chris thought back, suddenly recalled the problem of the two children tied down before an approaching train.
“It doesn’t mean much,” Gaea conceded. “But it’s interesting. There are two answers I can see. One for Gods, and another for humans. Have you thought about it?”
“I did, once.”
“What did you come up with?”
Chris sighed, decided to be honest. “It seems that it’s likely that … if I attempted to rescue either of them, I would probably die while trying to set the second one free. I don’t know which I would free first. But if I tried to free one, I would have to try to free the other.”
“And die.” Gaea nodded. “That’s the human answer. You people do it all the time—go out on a limb to pull back one of your kind and have the limb break under you. Ten rescuers die while looking for one lost hiker. Terrible arithmetic. It’s not universal, of course. Many humans would stand by and watch the train kill both children.” She looked at him narrowly. “Which would you do?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t honestly say I’d sacrifice myself.”
“The answer for a God is easy. A God would let them both die. Individual lives are not important, in other words. While I’m aware of every sparrow that falls, I do nothing to prevent the fall. It’s in the nature of life that things should die. I don’t expect you to like that, to understand it, or to agree with it. I’m just explaining where I stand. Do you see?”
“I think so. I’m not sure.”
Gaea waved it away. “It’s not important that you approve, just that you understand that is how my universe works.”
“That I understand.”
“Fine. I’m not
quite
as impersonal as that. Few Gods are. If there were an afterlife—which, by the way, there isn’t, not in my theogony or in yours—I’d probably be inclined to reward the fellow who jumped onto the tracks and died trying to save those children. I’d take the poor bastard into heaven, if there were one. Unfortunately”—she gestured expansively, with a sour look—“this is the closest anyonewill ever come to heaven, right here. I make no great claims for it; it’s a place, like any other. The food’s okay.
“But if I admire someone for something he or she has done, I reward them in
this
life. Do you follow me?”
“Well, I’m still listening.”
She laughed, reached over, and slapped his knee.
“I like that. Now, I don’t give anything for free. At the same time I don’t sell anything. Cures are awarded on the basis of merit. Dulcimer said you couldn’t think of anything you’d done to deserve a cure. Think again.”
“I’m not sure I know what you want.”
“Well, for things done on Earth it would have to be
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