failed me afterward. I’d just kissed my best friend’s brother, for pete’s sake!
“D’you want another beer?” he asked, all matter of fact.
So that night, we drank a little as we watched EastEnders on telly, and by nine p.m. hid the beer cans as Carla’s mom and dad returned from their night out.
Dad had written something in the miscellaneous section about kisses, so as soon as I fled next door, heart racing with the intensity of it all, I dug it out.
Miscellaneous: Your first real kiss
I couldn’t figure out where to put this, so I stuck it in the miscellaneous section (if I had my own way it wouldn’t even be a section, because I’m not sure I want some guy kissing you). But if my dreams of you having kids and growing old with your family around you are ever to materialize, then a kiss is probably likely.
Sooooo…
Here goes (deep breath, deep breath).
Your first kiss.
You’ve probably just had it or are about to. All I can say is, it will feel…well, rather crap actually. The good (or bad) news is, it definitely gets better with practice. Because first time round you’ll be all teeth and lip knocks. You’ll be paranoid about your breath. Or this could all be my own experience, while yours, well, yours could just be magical. Like Cinderella’s with her prince.
Remember to enjoy it…but not too much!
And I had.
I smiled and leaned over to my bedside table, the picture of Dad smiling back at me. I was almost too embarrassed to face him, armed with the knowledge that I had, at last, broken my kiss virginity.
I decided not to tell Carla. Not that she’d notice any difference in the way Corey and I interacted, because we waited until she left the room to sneak in a quick kiss. Gazing at one another across the dinner table as we tucked into Sunday lunch. Once, we even held hands under the tablecloth as Carla’s mom talked lipstick colors. An exciting moment in time and one that made me believe all that fluff they sang about in songs. But then I’d go home, sit on my bed, one-eyed teddy by my side, feeling confused at why I was thinking about Corey in THAT way. I’d known him most of my life and seen him as nothing more than…well, my best friend’s annoying older brother. Everything was weird now. Nice, scary, mad, exciting. But mostly nice.
“When did you start fancying me?” asked Corey as we left Lanes Fish Bar, carrying his family’s dinner in two paper bags.
“I never did!” I protested.
“What? Never?”
“You’re just looking for an ego boost.”
“So what?”
“You’re not getting one.”
I felt a surge of delicious electricity as he grabbed my hand. “Go on, Lo Bag!”
I pulled my hand away playfully.
“I’m going to tell everyone about us,” he said, and I thought I’d burst.
“Not today, though?” I wasn’t quite ready for everyone to know about “us.” Like The Manual, this was something for me that had nothing to do with anyone else. And I wanted to hold on to that feeling for as long as I could. Before anything had a chance to go wrong.
O ne evening, as Carla ice skated with Antoine, Corey and I lay on the sofa staring blankly at the television screen.
“Hello there!” said a voice. As we looked up, Carla’s mom sprang into focus complete with a huge grin.
Corey and I jumped up simultaneously.
“Mom!”
“Relax, I’ve known for ages that something’s been going on,” she said, placing her sequinned handbag onto the settee, which was still warm with the heat from our bottoms. “Me and your dad aren’t complete plums, you know.”
I smiled with the relief of it all, finally free to tell Carla the truth. Hoping she’d take it just as well as her mom. I was in love with her brother so this felt like the right thing to do, and Corey seemed to be in agreement as he walked me next door.
“But let’s just wait for now. Mom won’t say anything.”
“Why wait?” I said with pangs of paranoia. “Carla will be fine about
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