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Authors: Nick Vujicic
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self-control in response to bullies can be so effective.
When you refuse to respond to taunts or you don’t let a bully’s shove trigger your own violence, it shows that you are operating at a higher level of maturity and self-control. If the bully continues to pursue you and you feel seriously threatened, you may have to defend yourself or flee or get help. I would never tell you to let a bully beat you up, but violence should be your last response. I’ll offer more advice on this later in the book; for now I want to encourage you to adopt all the fruit of the Spirit as values and make them part of your daily approach to life.
We are born into this world kicking and screaming and demanding that our hunger and thirst and comfort be tended to. It would be nice if we could stay in that mode for the rest of our lives, but unfortunately, even the most doting parents get over the whole diaper-changing thing pretty quickly.
We may still have the same primitive urge to be the center of the universe, but as we enter the teen years, we’re expected to keep many of our desires and cravings in check for our benefitand the benefit of everyone else. A lack of self-control leads to poor choices.
You can use self-control and still have fun; it’s just a matter of doing things in moderation and knowing when to say enough. If you find yourself losing control or lacking it altogether when faced with a bully or an offer of drugs or the temptation of sex, you can ask God to provide you with the strength to stand strong and stay in control.
If you build your life on the bedrock values and virtues of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, I have no doubt that you will reap the fruit of the Spirit. And I believe among the blessings you receive will be the self-confidence, courage, and resilience to deal with any bullying, ill treatment, or challenging circumstance that happens in your life.
Nick’s Notes for Chapter Four
Strong values can give you the strength to deal with bullying and other challenges throughout your life.
We can all benefit by building our lives around values such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Once you accept that you have value and purpose, take responsibility for your own happiness, and build your life on strong values, you can create a safety zone where no bully, or any other person or event, can make you feel badly about yourself. Think of it as a safe room or a storm shelter that isn’t in your house or your school. Instead, it exists within your mind. You can go there to feel secure in who you are whenever you encounter a threat from a bully or a bad experience of any kind.
This isn’t about protecting yourself physically from bullies who want to hurt you by beating you up or otherwise harming you. I’ll offer some advice on that later in the book. This safety zone is created to protect you emotionally so that you won’t become stressed out or depressed by bullying or other negatives in your life.
Your safety zone may exist only in your consciousness, but its impact on your life can be very powerful. And it will alwaysbe there, no matter where you are, for the rest of your life. I taught myself to go to my own safety zone mentally when a bully or a bad experience shook my confidence or made me question my value and my future.
I’d go off by myself somewhere, mentally step into this shelter, and say to myself, “I am a child of God, and He created me for a purpose. He has a plan for my life. No one can take that away from me or make me feel diminished. I am loved, and I have value.”
You may be thinking,
Well, that works for you, Nick, but it probably won’t work for me
. So let me introduce you to Jenny, who happened to write an e-mail to my website describing what is essentially her own safety zone process. She doesn’t call it that, but as you will see, it works much the
When you refuse to respond to taunts or you don’t let a bully’s shove trigger your own violence, it shows that you are operating at a higher level of maturity and self-control. If the bully continues to pursue you and you feel seriously threatened, you may have to defend yourself or flee or get help. I would never tell you to let a bully beat you up, but violence should be your last response. I’ll offer more advice on this later in the book; for now I want to encourage you to adopt all the fruit of the Spirit as values and make them part of your daily approach to life.
We are born into this world kicking and screaming and demanding that our hunger and thirst and comfort be tended to. It would be nice if we could stay in that mode for the rest of our lives, but unfortunately, even the most doting parents get over the whole diaper-changing thing pretty quickly.
We may still have the same primitive urge to be the center of the universe, but as we enter the teen years, we’re expected to keep many of our desires and cravings in check for our benefitand the benefit of everyone else. A lack of self-control leads to poor choices.
You can use self-control and still have fun; it’s just a matter of doing things in moderation and knowing when to say enough. If you find yourself losing control or lacking it altogether when faced with a bully or an offer of drugs or the temptation of sex, you can ask God to provide you with the strength to stand strong and stay in control.
If you build your life on the bedrock values and virtues of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, I have no doubt that you will reap the fruit of the Spirit. And I believe among the blessings you receive will be the self-confidence, courage, and resilience to deal with any bullying, ill treatment, or challenging circumstance that happens in your life.
Nick’s Notes for Chapter Four
Strong values can give you the strength to deal with bullying and other challenges throughout your life.
We can all benefit by building our lives around values such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Once you accept that you have value and purpose, take responsibility for your own happiness, and build your life on strong values, you can create a safety zone where no bully, or any other person or event, can make you feel badly about yourself. Think of it as a safe room or a storm shelter that isn’t in your house or your school. Instead, it exists within your mind. You can go there to feel secure in who you are whenever you encounter a threat from a bully or a bad experience of any kind.
This isn’t about protecting yourself physically from bullies who want to hurt you by beating you up or otherwise harming you. I’ll offer some advice on that later in the book. This safety zone is created to protect you emotionally so that you won’t become stressed out or depressed by bullying or other negatives in your life.
Your safety zone may exist only in your consciousness, but its impact on your life can be very powerful. And it will alwaysbe there, no matter where you are, for the rest of your life. I taught myself to go to my own safety zone mentally when a bully or a bad experience shook my confidence or made me question my value and my future.
I’d go off by myself somewhere, mentally step into this shelter, and say to myself, “I am a child of God, and He created me for a purpose. He has a plan for my life. No one can take that away from me or make me feel diminished. I am loved, and I have value.”
You may be thinking,
Well, that works for you, Nick, but it probably won’t work for me
. So let me introduce you to Jenny, who happened to write an e-mail to my website describing what is essentially her own safety zone process. She doesn’t call it that, but as you will see, it works much the
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