then in Christmas parades and at summer fairs. When South Meadow got its first shopping center she sang at the ribbon-cutting. She was in the newspaper.”
Abby shook her head dispelling the memories. She was getting distracted by the past. This is not what she meant to say. William watched her, patient, as serious-looking as she had ever seen him. She licked her lips, collected her thoughts, or tried to.
“Anyway, when she died in the car accident, everyone talked about it. It was like all of South Meadow mourned for her. Like they'd lost a part of their own family.”
“But you were her sister,” William cut in so abruptly that Abby was almost startled. “You were really her family. You knew her the best.”
“But I didn't,” Abby almost yelled, so great was her conviction. “We used to know each other so well we could finish each other’s sentences. We used to share the same thoughts and feelings but it all went wrong. Because of me.”
“It wasn't your fault,” William said with such fierce passion that she almost believed him. She wanted to believe him.
“It was. True, we grew up and we got restless the way teenage girls do. But you have to understand how things were for us. We both wanted to be actresses. Being movie stars wasn't enough, we weren't interested in Hollywood. We wanted New York. We dreamed of Broadway and performing every night to adoring crowds. Especially Angie. Angie loved the spotlight and she earned it. She was prideful yes, but she was amazingly talented.”
“And you?” William asked.
“I let her have all the attention. At first I was happy to. But then I started to secretly resent how driven she was. I began to push her away and she pushed back and soon we weren't sister or friends, we were enemies.”
Abby shook her head. She looked down at the tie in her hands. She had been twisting it fiercely between her fingers. It dotted a darker blue in spots and she realized that tears were slipping down her face and landing on it. When had she started to cry? She hadn't even noticed.
“After we lost her I felt like I had let everyone down, because I wasn't her,” Abby continued, her voice a warble that was thick with her sorrow. “I didn't have her angelic voice or her amazing bravado on stage. I didn't have her charisma. I only had her face.”
“Abby,” William began, his tone also rife with emotion. He stood, taking her hands in his, keeping her from rending the tie any further. He stood close and his warmth was a comfort. He reached up and wiped a tear gently from her cheek with the pad of his thumb.
Abby wanted to give in to his comforting aura but she had to finish what she had started.
“So I gave up,” Abby said. “I didn't believe I could take her place in the spotlight so I didn't try to. I was always the reliable one. The reasonable one. So I focused on that. I finished high school. Then I took a few community college courses, but money got tight for my parents so I dropped out and started working full time as a waitress to help them out. I set aside what I had always wanted.”
“But now you're here,” William said. He was tucking that stray hair behind her ear again. “You're doing it now. What changed your mind?”
“It's for Angie,” Abby said, her voice so strained it was almost a whisper. “It's for me of course. To finally stop hiding in the shadows, to do something for myself. But it’s for Angie too. I carry both of our dreams. I have to. She may be gone, but it’s the one thing we always shared.”
That last came
Abby shook her head dispelling the memories. She was getting distracted by the past. This is not what she meant to say. William watched her, patient, as serious-looking as she had ever seen him. She licked her lips, collected her thoughts, or tried to.
“Anyway, when she died in the car accident, everyone talked about it. It was like all of South Meadow mourned for her. Like they'd lost a part of their own family.”
“But you were her sister,” William cut in so abruptly that Abby was almost startled. “You were really her family. You knew her the best.”
“But I didn't,” Abby almost yelled, so great was her conviction. “We used to know each other so well we could finish each other’s sentences. We used to share the same thoughts and feelings but it all went wrong. Because of me.”
“It wasn't your fault,” William said with such fierce passion that she almost believed him. She wanted to believe him.
“It was. True, we grew up and we got restless the way teenage girls do. But you have to understand how things were for us. We both wanted to be actresses. Being movie stars wasn't enough, we weren't interested in Hollywood. We wanted New York. We dreamed of Broadway and performing every night to adoring crowds. Especially Angie. Angie loved the spotlight and she earned it. She was prideful yes, but she was amazingly talented.”
“And you?” William asked.
“I let her have all the attention. At first I was happy to. But then I started to secretly resent how driven she was. I began to push her away and she pushed back and soon we weren't sister or friends, we were enemies.”
Abby shook her head. She looked down at the tie in her hands. She had been twisting it fiercely between her fingers. It dotted a darker blue in spots and she realized that tears were slipping down her face and landing on it. When had she started to cry? She hadn't even noticed.
“After we lost her I felt like I had let everyone down, because I wasn't her,” Abby continued, her voice a warble that was thick with her sorrow. “I didn't have her angelic voice or her amazing bravado on stage. I didn't have her charisma. I only had her face.”
“Abby,” William began, his tone also rife with emotion. He stood, taking her hands in his, keeping her from rending the tie any further. He stood close and his warmth was a comfort. He reached up and wiped a tear gently from her cheek with the pad of his thumb.
Abby wanted to give in to his comforting aura but she had to finish what she had started.
“So I gave up,” Abby said. “I didn't believe I could take her place in the spotlight so I didn't try to. I was always the reliable one. The reasonable one. So I focused on that. I finished high school. Then I took a few community college courses, but money got tight for my parents so I dropped out and started working full time as a waitress to help them out. I set aside what I had always wanted.”
“But now you're here,” William said. He was tucking that stray hair behind her ear again. “You're doing it now. What changed your mind?”
“It's for Angie,” Abby said, her voice so strained it was almost a whisper. “It's for me of course. To finally stop hiding in the shadows, to do something for myself. But it’s for Angie too. I carry both of our dreams. I have to. She may be gone, but it’s the one thing we always shared.”
That last came
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