OVER ME! Iâm no great catch to begin with, as you constantly remind me, while groveling, sniveling and begging me to take you back! TAKE YOU BACK!!? WE DATED BRIEFLY!!
OTTO: Finished? (He drinks a second Yoohoo)
SERGE: NO I AM NOT FINISHED!!! I donât know what to doâtell me what to do. I know you have needs. I know you have problems, you have obvious problems! But this is not fair! I HAVE NEEDS AND PROBLEMS TOO! THIS ISNâT FAIR! DO YOU HEAR ME? THIS JUST IS NOT FAIR!!
(A long pause.)
OTTO (Very small) : I donât see what youâre so worked up about. I just dropped by. I brought some doughnuts. Thatâs all.
(The phone rings.)
SERGE: ANSWER IT!
OTTO: Excuse me. (Into the phone) Hello?. . . Oh, hello. . . . No, we are NOT back together yet!! . . . Yes, I understand that Iâm a heap of human debris, that Iâm not getting any younger and that everything I touch turns to shit! . . . Well, if thatâs what you want, I canât stop you from killing yourself. . . . No, I donât care that youâve taken forty-five sleeping pills!! . . . If you want to die, itâs your prerogative! . . . No, Iâm not calling 911 for you!! . . . I DONâT CARE! . . . THEN JUST DIE! DIE! DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I CANâT GO ON LIKE THIS! (He slams the phone down) It was my analyst.
SERGE: What?
OTTO: Iâm sorry if I intruded. You keep telling me to get on withmy life. For years now, youâve been telling me that. âGet on with your life.â . . . But you are my life.
SERGE: Donât be pathetic.
OTTO: If itâs pathetic, itâs pathetic. If itâs sick or sad or whatever it isâit is the way it is. I love you. And you will love me again. Someday . . . or you wonât. But I donât intend to give up trying. I see no advantage in surrender.
SERGE (After a moment) : You keep telling me, Iâll love you again. But I never loved you.
OTTO: What?
SERGE: But I am in love. Now. For the first time. Do you understand me? Heâs on his way over here right now. He went to get his things and heâs coming here, to live. So you simply have to go.
(Sadly, Otto rises. The phone rings. Otto looks at Serge, who gestures that Otto should answer it.)
OTTO (Into the phone) : Hello? . . . Itâs for you.
SERGE (Taking the phone) : Hello? . . . Oh. . . . I see . . . well, but . . . but . . . (He hangs up the phone) Heâs not coming.
OTTO (Simply) : Oh. (Pause, then with great cheer) So? Can I stay?
(Blackout.)
SCENE 3
FATTY & SKINNY LAY IN BED . . .
The lights come up on the Dolor living room. It is morning, perhaps we hear the sounds of birds. The doorbell rings. After a moment, the person on the other side begins pounding on the door, rather violently. Finally, Amanda enters, wearing a shorty nightgown .
AMANDA: Coming!
(She goes to the door and opens it, revealing Serge.)
Can I help you?
SERGE: Is this Ford Dolorâs apartment?
AMANDA: Why do you ask?
SERGE: It is, isnât it?
AMANDA: Itâs nine in the morning.
SERGE: May I come in?
AMANDA: No!
(Serge pushes past her. She follows.)
SERGE: Where is he?
AMANDA: Fordâs asleep. What is this about?
SERGE: Iâd like to speak to Ford, please.
AMANDA: Well, Iâm not going to wake him. Who are you?!
SERGE: My name is Serge. Who are you?
AMANDA: Iâm Amanda. Iâm Fordâs wife. Now, please leave.
SERGE: Not until I speak to Ford.
AMANDA: Iâve asked you to leave. Iâd appreciate it if youâd justâ
SERGE: Iâm in love with your husband.
AMANDA (Stunned) : What?
SERGE: I think. If heâs in love with me, that is. If not then Iâm not. Iâm not putting myself in that position.
AMANDA: Youâre . . .?
SERGE: Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to blurt it out like that. I have no intention of hurting you. I have no interest in you. I didnât even make a mental note of your name.
AMANDA: Itâs
Alexandra Amor
The Duke Next Door
John Wilcox
Clarence Major
David Perlmutter M. D., Alberto Villoldo Ph.d.
Susan Wiggs
Vicki Myron
Mack Maloney
Stephen L. Antczak, James C. Bassett
Unknown