peers, and even step out onto a competitive ballroom dance floor.
And Hyde’ll be right there, helping you enjoy the spotlight.
Caridad Ferrer is a first-generation Cuban-American, whose YA debut, Adiós to My Old Life, was a Romance Writers of America’s 2007 RITA winner and was named to the 2009 Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults list, awarded by the American Library Association. Her latest young adult novel, When the Stars Go Blue , a contemporary retelling of Bizet’s Carmen , was recently honored as the first-place YA Novel: English Language at the 2011 International Latino Book Awards.
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Michael Griffo
Dear Teen Me,
At some moments it seems like it truly has been thirty years since I was in high school. But at other times I can still hear the late bell ringing and the locker doors slamming shut. It’s like I’m still there with you, like a part of me has never let go.
So much happened during those four years, but the most rewarding and life-changing experience occurred when you were cast in the school play. Do you remember how quickly you made new friends, gained respect from your teachers, and learned that you loved being onstage? It was also the first time you fell in love.
I wonder: Was it really Love, with a capital L ? I’m still not sure, but it was the first time you thought about wanting to kiss another person. The first time your palms got sweaty when you were standing next to someone else. And the first time you were forced to admit that these “firsts” were happening because of another guy.
I don’t even remember his name. Can you believe that!? But I can see his face so clearly it’s as if I’m back onstage, dressed as Barnaby Tucker in the musical Hello, Dolly! and he’s standing right next to me dressed in a brown plaid wool suit, his curly blonde hair spilling out from underneath his cap, as we’re about to perform the song “Femininity.” (Isn’t that an ironic title?!)
During the song, you had to do a barrel roll over this guy’s back and then jump back on top of him. You were short and he was quite tall and muscular and you loved the view of the world when you were holding onto his shoulders. And you never wanted to let go. You developed a powerful crush on him. So powerful and eye-opening that you never told another soul. You kept silent simply because you were too embarrassed and ashamed. And when he would smile at you and ask how you were doing, you would lie and say that you were fine.
This started you on a long and successful career of lying. Of keeping the truth about yourself hidden. You kept the fact that you were gay a secret for a verylong time and it stunted your emotional growth. You had no idea how to form an honest, adult relationship, because you couldn’t form an honest relationship with yourself. And you didn’t know how to act with other guys because you never took chances. I don’t think you should have professed your undying love to your onstage partner, but you definitely should have looked yourself in the mirror and been honest. You should have told yourself that these feelings you had were real. And you should have confided in your parents, or talked with Rob or Don—your closest friends—and asked them to share some of the burden that you were carrying; that’s what family and friends are there for. You shouldn’t have tried to do it on your own.
So Michael, if you’re listening, don’t spend time living your life in a vacuum. Reach out to someone you can trust—a parent, a teacher, a friend—and tell them what’s going on inside your brain and your heart. Don’t worry about how they’ll react; they may be surprised, and they may not understand, but at least they’ll know.
Which means that no matter what, you won’t ever be alone again.
Michael Griffo performed as an actor throughout the country, off Broadway, and as far away as Hong Kong. He made the transition to playwright in 2001 and his first play, No
And Hyde’ll be right there, helping you enjoy the spotlight.
Caridad Ferrer is a first-generation Cuban-American, whose YA debut, Adiós to My Old Life, was a Romance Writers of America’s 2007 RITA winner and was named to the 2009 Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults list, awarded by the American Library Association. Her latest young adult novel, When the Stars Go Blue , a contemporary retelling of Bizet’s Carmen , was recently honored as the first-place YA Novel: English Language at the 2011 International Latino Book Awards.
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Michael Griffo
Dear Teen Me,
At some moments it seems like it truly has been thirty years since I was in high school. But at other times I can still hear the late bell ringing and the locker doors slamming shut. It’s like I’m still there with you, like a part of me has never let go.
So much happened during those four years, but the most rewarding and life-changing experience occurred when you were cast in the school play. Do you remember how quickly you made new friends, gained respect from your teachers, and learned that you loved being onstage? It was also the first time you fell in love.
I wonder: Was it really Love, with a capital L ? I’m still not sure, but it was the first time you thought about wanting to kiss another person. The first time your palms got sweaty when you were standing next to someone else. And the first time you were forced to admit that these “firsts” were happening because of another guy.
I don’t even remember his name. Can you believe that!? But I can see his face so clearly it’s as if I’m back onstage, dressed as Barnaby Tucker in the musical Hello, Dolly! and he’s standing right next to me dressed in a brown plaid wool suit, his curly blonde hair spilling out from underneath his cap, as we’re about to perform the song “Femininity.” (Isn’t that an ironic title?!)
During the song, you had to do a barrel roll over this guy’s back and then jump back on top of him. You were short and he was quite tall and muscular and you loved the view of the world when you were holding onto his shoulders. And you never wanted to let go. You developed a powerful crush on him. So powerful and eye-opening that you never told another soul. You kept silent simply because you were too embarrassed and ashamed. And when he would smile at you and ask how you were doing, you would lie and say that you were fine.
This started you on a long and successful career of lying. Of keeping the truth about yourself hidden. You kept the fact that you were gay a secret for a verylong time and it stunted your emotional growth. You had no idea how to form an honest, adult relationship, because you couldn’t form an honest relationship with yourself. And you didn’t know how to act with other guys because you never took chances. I don’t think you should have professed your undying love to your onstage partner, but you definitely should have looked yourself in the mirror and been honest. You should have told yourself that these feelings you had were real. And you should have confided in your parents, or talked with Rob or Don—your closest friends—and asked them to share some of the burden that you were carrying; that’s what family and friends are there for. You shouldn’t have tried to do it on your own.
So Michael, if you’re listening, don’t spend time living your life in a vacuum. Reach out to someone you can trust—a parent, a teacher, a friend—and tell them what’s going on inside your brain and your heart. Don’t worry about how they’ll react; they may be surprised, and they may not understand, but at least they’ll know.
Which means that no matter what, you won’t ever be alone again.
Michael Griffo performed as an actor throughout the country, off Broadway, and as far away as Hong Kong. He made the transition to playwright in 2001 and his first play, No
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