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Authors: Nicky Silver
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Amanda.
SERGE: Would you do me a favor and get Ford? Tell him Iâm here.
AMANDA: Youâre a man.
SERGE: Yes, I know that. Iâm aware of that.
AMANDA: Youâre saying Ford isâ
SERGE: My lover. Ford is my lover.
AMANDA (Stricken) : I see.
SERGE: He never mentioned he was married.
AMANDA: He didnât?
SERGE: How long have you been together?
AMANDA: Oh a long time. Several years.
SERGE: Well, he doesnât talk much.
AMANDA: Yes, I know.
SERGE: Heâs pretty quiet.
AMANDA: He never mentioned you, either.
SERGE: I really didnât come here to upset you. I came to see Ford. I want to find out where we stand. I have plans to make, things to do. I have an appointment at the tanning salon at ten and I intend to know whatâs goingâ
AMANDA: How long have you known my husband, Mr.â?
SERGE: Serge, please.
AMANDA: How long, Serge ?
SERGE: We met two weeks ago.
AMANDA: I see. And at what sordid, little social club was this?
SERGE: Bloomingdaleâs.
AMANDA: Typical.
SERGE: Iâm a model. Maybe you recognize me?
AMANDA: Iâm afraid not.
SERGE: Well, I donât do much print work.
AMANDA: That is too bad.
SERGE: I was at Bloomingdaleâs for the fall promotions of the new Calvin Klein underwear. Ford was shopping. He remarked on the cut of my briefs and one thing led to another. We went back to my place, and I found that I could open up to him. I could really talk to him in a way I canât talk to a lot of people. You know most people look at me and they just see someone whoâs unusually attractive. Then they find out that Iâm a model, and they assume that Iâm an idiot! You know, I think thatâs a form of prejudice! Wouldnât you say so?
AMANDA: I donât know. I donât know and I donât care.
SERGE: Well, we went back to my place. We were talking and listening to some old Donna Summer tapes. And then, we didnât even discuss itâbefore we knew what was happening we were fucking and sucking and going like rabid dogs in the summer sun, right there in the window!
AMANDA: Oh my God.
SERGE: I know. Itâs pretty undignified, huh?
AMANDA: Oh my God.
SERGE: But when you connect, you connect.
AMANDA: I feel sick.
SERGE: Oh, we were safe. Not to worry. I consider myself extremely responsible.
AMANDA (Weakly) : Good.
SERGE: And that was it. We spent the next fourteen days together.
AMANDA: Did you?
SERGE: In bed, on the floor, in the tub, on the roofâ
AMANDA: The roof?
SERGE: We only stopped for salt tablets! I was seeing someone else, this guy, Rogerâand he had heart surgery last week, but Iâll be honest with you. Ford made me forget all about Roger. I mean, I forgot to send flowers or call the hospital or anything. I wonder if he lived. Can I use your phone?
AMANDA: No.
SERGE: Oh well. It doesnât matter. I never really cared for Roger. He was wild about me but he talked nonstop! I couldnât get a word in edgewise. With Ford, it was different. We have something very, very uniqueâ
AMANDA: You canât qualify unique. It either is, or it isnât.
SERGE: What?
AMANDA: Skip it.
SERGE: Thatâs why I donât understand! This might come as a surprise, but Ford was planning on moving in with me. He left my place last night at about twelve and said heâd be back in a couple of hours with his stuff.
AMANDA: He was going toâ
SERGE: Then he calls at two in the morning, and no explanation!No excuse! No nothing! Just âIâm not coming.â Well Iâm not used to this! Iâm not used to being treated like a piece of gum stuck under a chair! I want to see him. Now!
(Amanda blocks the hallway.)
AMANDA: Too bad.
SERGE: Iâll wait.
AMANDA: Just go!
SERGE: Tell me, did he say anything? Did he talk about me? Did you discuss it? Was it me? Was I suffocating? Is that it? I thought he liked being suffocated! He liked the paddle! He liked the whip! He
SERGE: Would you do me a favor and get Ford? Tell him Iâm here.
AMANDA: Youâre a man.
SERGE: Yes, I know that. Iâm aware of that.
AMANDA: Youâre saying Ford isâ
SERGE: My lover. Ford is my lover.
AMANDA (Stricken) : I see.
SERGE: He never mentioned he was married.
AMANDA: He didnât?
SERGE: How long have you been together?
AMANDA: Oh a long time. Several years.
SERGE: Well, he doesnât talk much.
AMANDA: Yes, I know.
SERGE: Heâs pretty quiet.
AMANDA: He never mentioned you, either.
SERGE: I really didnât come here to upset you. I came to see Ford. I want to find out where we stand. I have plans to make, things to do. I have an appointment at the tanning salon at ten and I intend to know whatâs goingâ
AMANDA: How long have you known my husband, Mr.â?
SERGE: Serge, please.
AMANDA: How long, Serge ?
SERGE: We met two weeks ago.
AMANDA: I see. And at what sordid, little social club was this?
SERGE: Bloomingdaleâs.
AMANDA: Typical.
SERGE: Iâm a model. Maybe you recognize me?
AMANDA: Iâm afraid not.
SERGE: Well, I donât do much print work.
AMANDA: That is too bad.
SERGE: I was at Bloomingdaleâs for the fall promotions of the new Calvin Klein underwear. Ford was shopping. He remarked on the cut of my briefs and one thing led to another. We went back to my place, and I found that I could open up to him. I could really talk to him in a way I canât talk to a lot of people. You know most people look at me and they just see someone whoâs unusually attractive. Then they find out that Iâm a model, and they assume that Iâm an idiot! You know, I think thatâs a form of prejudice! Wouldnât you say so?
AMANDA: I donât know. I donât know and I donât care.
SERGE: Well, we went back to my place. We were talking and listening to some old Donna Summer tapes. And then, we didnât even discuss itâbefore we knew what was happening we were fucking and sucking and going like rabid dogs in the summer sun, right there in the window!
AMANDA: Oh my God.
SERGE: I know. Itâs pretty undignified, huh?
AMANDA: Oh my God.
SERGE: But when you connect, you connect.
AMANDA: I feel sick.
SERGE: Oh, we were safe. Not to worry. I consider myself extremely responsible.
AMANDA (Weakly) : Good.
SERGE: And that was it. We spent the next fourteen days together.
AMANDA: Did you?
SERGE: In bed, on the floor, in the tub, on the roofâ
AMANDA: The roof?
SERGE: We only stopped for salt tablets! I was seeing someone else, this guy, Rogerâand he had heart surgery last week, but Iâll be honest with you. Ford made me forget all about Roger. I mean, I forgot to send flowers or call the hospital or anything. I wonder if he lived. Can I use your phone?
AMANDA: No.
SERGE: Oh well. It doesnât matter. I never really cared for Roger. He was wild about me but he talked nonstop! I couldnât get a word in edgewise. With Ford, it was different. We have something very, very uniqueâ
AMANDA: You canât qualify unique. It either is, or it isnât.
SERGE: What?
AMANDA: Skip it.
SERGE: Thatâs why I donât understand! This might come as a surprise, but Ford was planning on moving in with me. He left my place last night at about twelve and said heâd be back in a couple of hours with his stuff.
AMANDA: He was going toâ
SERGE: Then he calls at two in the morning, and no explanation!No excuse! No nothing! Just âIâm not coming.â Well Iâm not used to this! Iâm not used to being treated like a piece of gum stuck under a chair! I want to see him. Now!
(Amanda blocks the hallway.)
AMANDA: Too bad.
SERGE: Iâll wait.
AMANDA: Just go!
SERGE: Tell me, did he say anything? Did he talk about me? Did you discuss it? Was it me? Was I suffocating? Is that it? I thought he liked being suffocated! He liked the paddle! He liked the whip! He
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