Read Online True Control 4.2 by Willow Madison - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Willow Madison
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asking of me, Lucy…I…I want to help you. Shit!” He breathes again in and out, his mouth close to his phone. “I will help you, girl. But you have to be honest with me. No bullshit.” I wait, not sure what he means. “If I step in…if I interfere more than I already have…and you decide to change your mind and stay…it’ll be a lot worse for you…and me. You know that, right?”
“Yes.” My whisper is a long hiss of air out.
“You really want to leave Max? To walk away from him? From everything you have with him? You really think you can do that?”
“I…I…” I start to cry, choking on words. “I don’t know what else I can do!”
“Shhh…no more tears, Lucy…shhh.” I try to sniffle in my tears, try to stop my body from shuddering more on the bed. My knees up, arm around them. I look up at the ceiling. Oh God. To never be in this room again?! To never feel Max’s arms around me again?! I can’t...
“I don’t know, Jake. I love him…but I can’t take all of his anger…it’s too much…if you’d seen him…heard him last night…” I’m lost in tears again. I drop my head onto my knees and hold the phone like it’s Jake’s hand. Like it could actually help me right now.
“Lucy!” His sharp, hard near-shout stops my tears instantly. I hiccup from gulping in a sob. “You need to get yourself calm. Now, girl. He’s going to be back any minute and he can’t find you on the phone with me like this.” I know he’s right. That wouldn’t be good. I sniffle a little more. “Good.”
He takes a quick deep breath in and I follow his example. “He’s not going to do anything this morning. He made a promise to me and to Dad that he’d calm down. He’d wait to see if you’re pregnant.” Something in how he said it, like it hurt him to say the words. It hurts me to think them. “So you have a little time. We have a little time to think about what can be done.”
“He’s going to make me an appointment today with the doctor.” I need to know. I know that. But I’m afraid of knowing, of Max knowing really. “What if I am pregnant?”
Jake doesn’t hesitate. “I’ll still help you, Lucy. But Max will never let you leave with his child. You know that. You…you’d be better off trying to figure out how to make…how to make him happy with you again…if you think that’s even possible after yesterday…”
I know he’s right. I’ve had this same thought. It’s why I got up at 3:00 and went looking for him. To try to appease him. To make up to him. To show him…I don’t know. My mind runs from this thought. “Ok…I don’t know if I’ll be able to call you again…”
“I’ll come by later today…to talk to Max again. Ok?”
“Ok….Thanks, Jake…” I hang up quietly.
But I do know. At 3:00 a.m., I wanted to show Max that I’m still his. That I still know that he has every right to be angry with me. That he has every right to punish me however he wants. That he’s right…I will take whatever he does.
God help me. It’s what I thought then. Until he scared me with how calmly he said he would hurt me more than he already has. I’m not strong enough to take that...
And what if I am pregnant…it’s not just me I have to think about then…
Chapter 17 HIM
Lucy looks scared. Her fingers keep squeezing each other. Her legs keep tapping against the metal drawers, making the paper below her bottom crinkle. She’s dressed again, we’re just waiting for Dr. Patel to return with results.
I chose her as Lucy’s doctor because I knew she’d be discreet and trustworthy. I allowed her to question Lucy privately on her first visit. She understands how our marriage works and she doesn’t question it. Her family ran into some trouble when she was still in med school; Dad helped them out. She understands what owing a favor means. She’s well aware that I punish Lucy sometimes. She’s seen my marks on her. She saw Lucy today, saw how she winced during the
“Yes.” My whisper is a long hiss of air out.
“You really want to leave Max? To walk away from him? From everything you have with him? You really think you can do that?”
“I…I…” I start to cry, choking on words. “I don’t know what else I can do!”
“Shhh…no more tears, Lucy…shhh.” I try to sniffle in my tears, try to stop my body from shuddering more on the bed. My knees up, arm around them. I look up at the ceiling. Oh God. To never be in this room again?! To never feel Max’s arms around me again?! I can’t...
“I don’t know, Jake. I love him…but I can’t take all of his anger…it’s too much…if you’d seen him…heard him last night…” I’m lost in tears again. I drop my head onto my knees and hold the phone like it’s Jake’s hand. Like it could actually help me right now.
“Lucy!” His sharp, hard near-shout stops my tears instantly. I hiccup from gulping in a sob. “You need to get yourself calm. Now, girl. He’s going to be back any minute and he can’t find you on the phone with me like this.” I know he’s right. That wouldn’t be good. I sniffle a little more. “Good.”
He takes a quick deep breath in and I follow his example. “He’s not going to do anything this morning. He made a promise to me and to Dad that he’d calm down. He’d wait to see if you’re pregnant.” Something in how he said it, like it hurt him to say the words. It hurts me to think them. “So you have a little time. We have a little time to think about what can be done.”
“He’s going to make me an appointment today with the doctor.” I need to know. I know that. But I’m afraid of knowing, of Max knowing really. “What if I am pregnant?”
Jake doesn’t hesitate. “I’ll still help you, Lucy. But Max will never let you leave with his child. You know that. You…you’d be better off trying to figure out how to make…how to make him happy with you again…if you think that’s even possible after yesterday…”
I know he’s right. I’ve had this same thought. It’s why I got up at 3:00 and went looking for him. To try to appease him. To make up to him. To show him…I don’t know. My mind runs from this thought. “Ok…I don’t know if I’ll be able to call you again…”
“I’ll come by later today…to talk to Max again. Ok?”
“Ok….Thanks, Jake…” I hang up quietly.
But I do know. At 3:00 a.m., I wanted to show Max that I’m still his. That I still know that he has every right to be angry with me. That he has every right to punish me however he wants. That he’s right…I will take whatever he does.
God help me. It’s what I thought then. Until he scared me with how calmly he said he would hurt me more than he already has. I’m not strong enough to take that...
And what if I am pregnant…it’s not just me I have to think about then…
Chapter 17 HIM
Lucy looks scared. Her fingers keep squeezing each other. Her legs keep tapping against the metal drawers, making the paper below her bottom crinkle. She’s dressed again, we’re just waiting for Dr. Patel to return with results.
I chose her as Lucy’s doctor because I knew she’d be discreet and trustworthy. I allowed her to question Lucy privately on her first visit. She understands how our marriage works and she doesn’t question it. Her family ran into some trouble when she was still in med school; Dad helped them out. She understands what owing a favor means. She’s well aware that I punish Lucy sometimes. She’s seen my marks on her. She saw Lucy today, saw how she winced during the
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