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Authors: Jeanne Birdsall
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Hound.”
“For the millionth time,” scolded Skye. “Hound does not have to fifth it.”
“He wants to, don’t you, Hound?”
“Woof.”
“Order. You, too, Hound,” said Rosalind before he could woof again. Then she made her right hand into a fist and held it out toward her sisters. “All swear to keep secret what is said here, even—actually, this time, especially—from Daddy, unless you think someone might do something truly bad.”
The others piled their fists on top of hers, and together they all chanted, “This I swear, by the Penderwick Family Honor,” then broke their fists apart.
“We know why we’re here,” said Rosalind.
“No, we don’t,” said the others.
“Because of Daddy and the dating. Honestly, aren’t any of you paying attention to what’s happening in our family?”
“I am.” Batty dug a ginger cookie out of her pocket, ate half, then gave the rest to Hound.
“Thank you, Batty. So I’ve been trying to come up with a way to stop this dating nonsense. And don’t anyone say that it was Mommy’s idea. I know it was, and I don’t care.” Rosalind glared defiantly at the others, daring them to protest.
Skye wasn’t cowed. “None of us like the dating idea, but Daddy agreed to it, and he’s honor-bound to keep going.”
“Besides, men have needs,” added Jane. “I read that in a magazine.”
“What needs?” asked Batty.
“What magazine?” asked Skye.
“Order.” Rosalind thumped on her root. “Skye’s right about Daddy agreeing to the dates. But we all know that he hates it as much as I—we—do. I looked up that word he used last night,
cruciatus.
It means ‘torture.’”
“Ms. Muntz tortured Daddy?” Jane was horrified. For her, torture meant being stretched on racks and beaten with chains.
“Of course not. He just meant he was miserable,” said Rosalind. “We need some way to rescue him without compromising his honor. I’d hoped to have a plan before we got here, and I’ve tried and tried, but I haven’t come up with anything except a name: the Save-Daddy Plan.”
“Good name,” said Skye. “All in favor of it, say ‘aye.’ Aye.”
“Aye-aye, Captain,” said Jane, realizing that her favorite heroine had not yet had a nautical adventure. “Why, Sabrina Starr could rescue a whale next!”
“Jane, please!” Rosalind clutched her head. Suddenly a headache was coming on. “Am I the only one who understands how serious this is?”
“Sorry, Rosalind. I do understand,” said Jane. Batty passed her a cookie as a mark of camaraderie.
“So we have a name for a plan, but no plan,” said Skye. “How about murder? As quickly as Aunt Claire comes up with blind dates, we kill them off.”
Batty looked fascinated. “How would we do it?”
“Please, please stick to the point, everyone. We have to help Daddy. And we have to make sure we don’t end up with a—” Rosalind, still unable to say that word, clutched her head harder.
“—stepmother,” finished Skye. “And I
am
sticking to the point. But if you don’t like murder, how about this? We can’t actually stop the dating altogether—promises, honor, et cetera, et cetera—so why don’t we find three more dates for Daddy that he’ll hate as much as Ms. Muntz? He won’t date any of them more than once, and the whole experience will be so horrible that he’ll never date again, and we’ll never end up with a stepmother. Brilliant, yes?”
Rosalind let go of her head and stared at her younger sister. “It might be brilliant.”
“Really?” Skye wasn’t used to people calling her plans brilliant. Ridiculous, crazy, dangerous even—these were words she heard more often than brilliant.
“Wait a minute,” said Jane, still puzzling it out. “We’re going to choose awful dates for Daddy? Isn’t that mean and dishonorable? Wouldn’t Daddy hate it if he knew?”
“He won’t know unless we tell him.” Rosalind’s head all at once felt better. “And remember that
“For the millionth time,” scolded Skye. “Hound does not have to fifth it.”
“He wants to, don’t you, Hound?”
“Woof.”
“Order. You, too, Hound,” said Rosalind before he could woof again. Then she made her right hand into a fist and held it out toward her sisters. “All swear to keep secret what is said here, even—actually, this time, especially—from Daddy, unless you think someone might do something truly bad.”
The others piled their fists on top of hers, and together they all chanted, “This I swear, by the Penderwick Family Honor,” then broke their fists apart.
“We know why we’re here,” said Rosalind.
“No, we don’t,” said the others.
“Because of Daddy and the dating. Honestly, aren’t any of you paying attention to what’s happening in our family?”
“I am.” Batty dug a ginger cookie out of her pocket, ate half, then gave the rest to Hound.
“Thank you, Batty. So I’ve been trying to come up with a way to stop this dating nonsense. And don’t anyone say that it was Mommy’s idea. I know it was, and I don’t care.” Rosalind glared defiantly at the others, daring them to protest.
Skye wasn’t cowed. “None of us like the dating idea, but Daddy agreed to it, and he’s honor-bound to keep going.”
“Besides, men have needs,” added Jane. “I read that in a magazine.”
“What needs?” asked Batty.
“What magazine?” asked Skye.
“Order.” Rosalind thumped on her root. “Skye’s right about Daddy agreeing to the dates. But we all know that he hates it as much as I—we—do. I looked up that word he used last night,
cruciatus.
It means ‘torture.’”
“Ms. Muntz tortured Daddy?” Jane was horrified. For her, torture meant being stretched on racks and beaten with chains.
“Of course not. He just meant he was miserable,” said Rosalind. “We need some way to rescue him without compromising his honor. I’d hoped to have a plan before we got here, and I’ve tried and tried, but I haven’t come up with anything except a name: the Save-Daddy Plan.”
“Good name,” said Skye. “All in favor of it, say ‘aye.’ Aye.”
“Aye-aye, Captain,” said Jane, realizing that her favorite heroine had not yet had a nautical adventure. “Why, Sabrina Starr could rescue a whale next!”
“Jane, please!” Rosalind clutched her head. Suddenly a headache was coming on. “Am I the only one who understands how serious this is?”
“Sorry, Rosalind. I do understand,” said Jane. Batty passed her a cookie as a mark of camaraderie.
“So we have a name for a plan, but no plan,” said Skye. “How about murder? As quickly as Aunt Claire comes up with blind dates, we kill them off.”
Batty looked fascinated. “How would we do it?”
“Please, please stick to the point, everyone. We have to help Daddy. And we have to make sure we don’t end up with a—” Rosalind, still unable to say that word, clutched her head harder.
“—stepmother,” finished Skye. “And I
am
sticking to the point. But if you don’t like murder, how about this? We can’t actually stop the dating altogether—promises, honor, et cetera, et cetera—so why don’t we find three more dates for Daddy that he’ll hate as much as Ms. Muntz? He won’t date any of them more than once, and the whole experience will be so horrible that he’ll never date again, and we’ll never end up with a stepmother. Brilliant, yes?”
Rosalind let go of her head and stared at her younger sister. “It might be brilliant.”
“Really?” Skye wasn’t used to people calling her plans brilliant. Ridiculous, crazy, dangerous even—these were words she heard more often than brilliant.
“Wait a minute,” said Jane, still puzzling it out. “We’re going to choose awful dates for Daddy? Isn’t that mean and dishonorable? Wouldn’t Daddy hate it if he knew?”
“He won’t know unless we tell him.” Rosalind’s head all at once felt better. “And remember that
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