likes to play with the same toy over and over again.
“And what if he really means it? I don’t want to leave you and Isaac and Amber... I can’t...” Jade blinks back tears, biting on her bottom lip. Caleb doesn’t respond. He isn’t even sure what love is anymore. Raphael uses that word sometimes when he’s in a good mood, so its meaning has surely been twisted.
“I have something for you,” Caleb finally says, watching the guard who is posted at the door and hoping he can’t hear him. The guards are always at almost every corner, watching and observing.
“What?” Jade lifts her chin, wiping off her tears. Caleb knows the guard will probably report that he saw Jade crying, and Caleb wants to make sure Jade is fine when Raphael comes to check.
“Come to my room.” He leans forward, pulling Jade into a hug so he can whisper into her ear. “Don’t speak about it when we get there.”
“Of course not,” Jade says quickly.
Caleb takes her hand and leads her to his room, which is small and simple, with white walls and no windows. No matter how glad he is to have his own bed, a closet, and a desk, he still hates his room because it’s a constant reminder that Raphael feels like he’s doing them all a favor by keeping them here. Even though there are no cameras, sound recorders are hidden in the corners—for their own protection, as Raphael likes to point out—and any whispering will draw Raphael’s guards like moths to the flame.
Jade hops onto the bed, tilting her head, her eyes filled with curiosity. Caleb carefully goes through the clothes in his closet until he finds a pill that he’s been saving for later. For some reason he decided he needs to keep his head clear and cut back on the pills, although that is easier said than done. He doesn’t quite remember what led him to that decision, especially because it’s easier to lose himself in the oblivion, but he thinks it has something to do with his latest client.
He finally places the pill into Jade’s hand and gives her a warning look. Jade’s face is bright with delight and she immediately pops it into her mouth, all of her worries apparently gone, just as he intended.
As he watches her, he wonders if he should risk asking Raphael for more pills. The world is a much more beautiful place when he takes them, except he hopes he’ll see Lilith again and his mind has to be sharp around her. She intrigues him more than he wants to admit to himself, and she also makes him forget everything. She’s almost like a pill, addictive and sweet, and when she’s gone, he can’t push her out of his thoughts.
I chew on my pen as the professor drones on and on about something that doesn’t interest me at all. I keep staring through the window and hoping the class will be over soon. It’s been a month since I’ve seen Caleb and I wonder how he’s doing. No matter how much time passes or what I do, I always keep hoping I’ll see him on the street or anywhere. I even tried, like some desperate teenage girl, to find his social media profiles through Katherine or Alessandra, but I haven’t been lucky.
It’s as if Caleb doesn’t exist except when he comes for me. And even if Caleb is some drug addict or whatever and we can never be together as a couple, I still want to find out more about him. And yet, I’m uncomfortable talking about this with Katherine or Alessandra. I’m not even sure Katherine would tell me anything even if she knew him. But there’s another way. I just need to find Alessandra.
It takes me a moment to realize everyone is getting up and the lecture is over. Thank God. I quickly stuff my things into my black bag and hurry into the hallway. If I’m not wrong, Alessandra’s class should have ended a couple of minutes ago, too. Maybe I can still catch her. I glimpse the back of her head and rush after her.
“Allie!” I yell, and she turns around, a smile flashing on her face.
“Lil! What’s up?”
“I need to talk to
“And what if he really means it? I don’t want to leave you and Isaac and Amber... I can’t...” Jade blinks back tears, biting on her bottom lip. Caleb doesn’t respond. He isn’t even sure what love is anymore. Raphael uses that word sometimes when he’s in a good mood, so its meaning has surely been twisted.
“I have something for you,” Caleb finally says, watching the guard who is posted at the door and hoping he can’t hear him. The guards are always at almost every corner, watching and observing.
“What?” Jade lifts her chin, wiping off her tears. Caleb knows the guard will probably report that he saw Jade crying, and Caleb wants to make sure Jade is fine when Raphael comes to check.
“Come to my room.” He leans forward, pulling Jade into a hug so he can whisper into her ear. “Don’t speak about it when we get there.”
“Of course not,” Jade says quickly.
Caleb takes her hand and leads her to his room, which is small and simple, with white walls and no windows. No matter how glad he is to have his own bed, a closet, and a desk, he still hates his room because it’s a constant reminder that Raphael feels like he’s doing them all a favor by keeping them here. Even though there are no cameras, sound recorders are hidden in the corners—for their own protection, as Raphael likes to point out—and any whispering will draw Raphael’s guards like moths to the flame.
Jade hops onto the bed, tilting her head, her eyes filled with curiosity. Caleb carefully goes through the clothes in his closet until he finds a pill that he’s been saving for later. For some reason he decided he needs to keep his head clear and cut back on the pills, although that is easier said than done. He doesn’t quite remember what led him to that decision, especially because it’s easier to lose himself in the oblivion, but he thinks it has something to do with his latest client.
He finally places the pill into Jade’s hand and gives her a warning look. Jade’s face is bright with delight and she immediately pops it into her mouth, all of her worries apparently gone, just as he intended.
As he watches her, he wonders if he should risk asking Raphael for more pills. The world is a much more beautiful place when he takes them, except he hopes he’ll see Lilith again and his mind has to be sharp around her. She intrigues him more than he wants to admit to himself, and she also makes him forget everything. She’s almost like a pill, addictive and sweet, and when she’s gone, he can’t push her out of his thoughts.
I chew on my pen as the professor drones on and on about something that doesn’t interest me at all. I keep staring through the window and hoping the class will be over soon. It’s been a month since I’ve seen Caleb and I wonder how he’s doing. No matter how much time passes or what I do, I always keep hoping I’ll see him on the street or anywhere. I even tried, like some desperate teenage girl, to find his social media profiles through Katherine or Alessandra, but I haven’t been lucky.
It’s as if Caleb doesn’t exist except when he comes for me. And even if Caleb is some drug addict or whatever and we can never be together as a couple, I still want to find out more about him. And yet, I’m uncomfortable talking about this with Katherine or Alessandra. I’m not even sure Katherine would tell me anything even if she knew him. But there’s another way. I just need to find Alessandra.
It takes me a moment to realize everyone is getting up and the lecture is over. Thank God. I quickly stuff my things into my black bag and hurry into the hallway. If I’m not wrong, Alessandra’s class should have ended a couple of minutes ago, too. Maybe I can still catch her. I glimpse the back of her head and rush after her.
“Allie!” I yell, and she turns around, a smile flashing on her face.
“Lil! What’s up?”
“I need to talk to
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