Read Online The First Time is the Hardest: An Austin Brothers Novella (Austin Brothers Series Book 1) by L A Cotton - Free Book Online
Authors: L A Cotton
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released me, gliding down my body until they reached their destination. In one swift movement, Ryan hauled me up, forcing my legs around his waist, and I gasped. But he caught it. Covering my lips, his tongue swept into my mouth. He was in control, but I felt his uncertainty. It zapped between us like a force field. He wanted this, but he was scared I would pull away at any second. That I’d realize how screwed up this was and leave.
But I couldn't leave even if I wanted to.
I was lost in him.
The feel of his lips moving against mine, his solid muscles pressed up against me—everything else paled in comparison. The pain that had taken up residence in my soul since losing Lucas was still there. But instead of a strong beat, wrapped in Ryan's arms, it was a weak pulse.
Ryan walked us to the edge of the bed and laid me down gently, staring down with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
“Come here,” I whispered reaching for him.
He lowered himself down over me. “Mila.” His voice filled with uncertainty again.
“Shh,” I said tracing his jaw with my fingers. “I don't want to think about it. Make me forget, Ryan. Please make me forget.”
Chapter 9
LIGHT WARMED MY skin, and I tilted my face into its stream all while my eyes flickered open and shut, open and shut, fighting the tug of more sleep.
“Hmm, what time is it?” Ryan murmured into my hair dragging me closer to him, and I let myself enjoy the feel of his solid frame wrapped around me.
“Eight.”
He grumbled something else into my hair, but I didn't hear him as the memories from the night before flooded my mind.
Ryan slid his hands up my body taking my shirt with them. Warm breath connected with the curve of my chest, and I arched my back, moaning, as he closed his mouth around my lace-covered nipple. But it was nothing compared to the feel of his hands as they slipped inside my jeans and found my center. I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth fighting the urge to moan louder.
Alternating his mouth and fingers, Ryan teased me to the brink of crashing over the edge, but at the last second, he pulled back. A playful smirk had replaced some of the sadness on his face. It looked good on him, and I drank in the sight of him. But all too quick, he was gone, inching down my pants until they dropped to the floor before covering me again. His mouth came down on mine again, harder this time, as his fingers slipped into my panties and glided between my legs. And, as he pressed one inside me, I gasped into his mouth.
I'd been touched before.
But never like this.
Never in the midst of so much pain and regret and loss.
It was intense.
Breathtaking.
It was the first time I was going to give myself to someone completely and nothing else mattered.
Ryan didn't speak or flourish me with compliments. Instead, he worked me with his fingers all while kissing me like a man starved of air. Pleasure built low in my stomach, rolling through me like waves, as Ryan's thumb rolled circles over the sensitive bundle of nerves begging to be touched.
“Ryan,” I panted into his mouth, clinging to him.
It hit me like a tsunami. Wracking through my body until every cell trembled.
“Stay with me, Mila. I need you. Only you.” Ryan's voice was distant as I rode the wave. He fumbled between us, kicking off his jeans until there was nothing but skin on skin.
No clothes.
No barriers.
No regrets.
Hooking an arm under my leg, and without warning, Ryan slammed inside me. My head rolled back, and I gripped onto his shoulders, more than willing to let him erase everything.
The contentment I’d felt when I first opened my eyes began to manifest into something ugly until guilt swarmed through me. Ryan must have noticed the change in me. His hand, the one stroking my shoulder, stilled, and he inhaled sharply. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”
His voice sounded off. Cold. And I turned to him and brushed my nose along the curve of his arm. “Don’t do
But I couldn't leave even if I wanted to.
I was lost in him.
The feel of his lips moving against mine, his solid muscles pressed up against me—everything else paled in comparison. The pain that had taken up residence in my soul since losing Lucas was still there. But instead of a strong beat, wrapped in Ryan's arms, it was a weak pulse.
Ryan walked us to the edge of the bed and laid me down gently, staring down with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
“Come here,” I whispered reaching for him.
He lowered himself down over me. “Mila.” His voice filled with uncertainty again.
“Shh,” I said tracing his jaw with my fingers. “I don't want to think about it. Make me forget, Ryan. Please make me forget.”
Chapter 9
LIGHT WARMED MY skin, and I tilted my face into its stream all while my eyes flickered open and shut, open and shut, fighting the tug of more sleep.
“Hmm, what time is it?” Ryan murmured into my hair dragging me closer to him, and I let myself enjoy the feel of his solid frame wrapped around me.
“Eight.”
He grumbled something else into my hair, but I didn't hear him as the memories from the night before flooded my mind.
Ryan slid his hands up my body taking my shirt with them. Warm breath connected with the curve of my chest, and I arched my back, moaning, as he closed his mouth around my lace-covered nipple. But it was nothing compared to the feel of his hands as they slipped inside my jeans and found my center. I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth fighting the urge to moan louder.
Alternating his mouth and fingers, Ryan teased me to the brink of crashing over the edge, but at the last second, he pulled back. A playful smirk had replaced some of the sadness on his face. It looked good on him, and I drank in the sight of him. But all too quick, he was gone, inching down my pants until they dropped to the floor before covering me again. His mouth came down on mine again, harder this time, as his fingers slipped into my panties and glided between my legs. And, as he pressed one inside me, I gasped into his mouth.
I'd been touched before.
But never like this.
Never in the midst of so much pain and regret and loss.
It was intense.
Breathtaking.
It was the first time I was going to give myself to someone completely and nothing else mattered.
Ryan didn't speak or flourish me with compliments. Instead, he worked me with his fingers all while kissing me like a man starved of air. Pleasure built low in my stomach, rolling through me like waves, as Ryan's thumb rolled circles over the sensitive bundle of nerves begging to be touched.
“Ryan,” I panted into his mouth, clinging to him.
It hit me like a tsunami. Wracking through my body until every cell trembled.
“Stay with me, Mila. I need you. Only you.” Ryan's voice was distant as I rode the wave. He fumbled between us, kicking off his jeans until there was nothing but skin on skin.
No clothes.
No barriers.
No regrets.
Hooking an arm under my leg, and without warning, Ryan slammed inside me. My head rolled back, and I gripped onto his shoulders, more than willing to let him erase everything.
The contentment I’d felt when I first opened my eyes began to manifest into something ugly until guilt swarmed through me. Ryan must have noticed the change in me. His hand, the one stroking my shoulder, stilled, and he inhaled sharply. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”
His voice sounded off. Cold. And I turned to him and brushed my nose along the curve of his arm. “Don’t do
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