Read Online Nanny Piggins and the Rival Ringmaster by R. A. Spratt - Free Book Online
Authors: R. A. Spratt
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air hostess interrupted to offer them all a snack. ‘Peanuts?’ she asked.
Nanny Piggins was just about to put the peanuts in her pocket, in case she should meet any monkeys in Stockholm, when she looked up and caught the air hostess’ eye.
‘Wait a minute,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘You look familiar. Have we met before?’
‘No,’ said the air hostess, a little too quickly.
‘Take off your jaunty little air hostess cap,’ ordered Nanny Piggins.
‘You can’t make me,’ said the air hostess, backing away.
‘Oh yes I can!’ said Nanny Piggins.
‘Sarah!’ exclaimed Boris. ‘Don’t attack the air hostess. She hasn’t served the in-flight meal yet!’
But it was too late. Nanny Piggins and the air hostess were wrestling on the floor. And it was a surprisingly even match. Nanny Piggins gave the air hostess a good bite on the shin. But the air hostess gave Nanny Piggins a good tug on her wig. Nanny Piggins whacked the hostess on the head with an in-flight entertainment guide. The air hostess tried to shove a sick bag up Nanny Piggins’ nose. So there was a great deal of rolling about while they alternated between one of them yelling ‘Take that!’and the other yelling ‘Ow!’, before Nanny Piggins finally leapt up holding a red wig and the jaunty little stewardess cap.
‘Aha!’ shouted Nanny Piggins. ‘I knew it! You’re no air hostess. You’re my identical fourteenuplet sister Wendy!’
Everyone was shocked.
‘Another one?!’ exclaimed Michael.
‘Which one is Wendy?’ Samantha asked Boris.
‘The evil one,’ whispered Boris.
The air hostess got to her feet and, if not for the fact that she was wearing an air hostess uniform, it would have been impossible to tell her apart from Nanny Piggins.
‘I’m hijacking this plane!’ announced Wendy.
‘Why?’ asked Nanny Piggins. ‘Airline food isn’t that good.’
‘I’ve been paid to kidnap you,’ explained Wendy.
‘Well, you won’t be paid today,’ announced Nanny Piggins, ‘because I’m not Deidre, I’m Sarah.’ Nanny Piggins whipped off her own wig and glasses, revealing her beautiful brown bob.
‘No!’ gasped Wendy. ‘I don’t believe it. How do I know you’re not just Deidre wearing a wig, on top of a wig, as a brilliant double disguise?’
‘When have you ever known Deidre to do anything that clever?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
Wendy nodded. She had to concede her sister was right.
‘I’m arresting you for attempting to kidnap a physicist!’ declared Special Agent Worton.
‘I’d like to see you try!’ said Wendy as she ripped off her stewardess blazer, revealing the micro-parachute she had strapped to her back, then wrenched open the plane door (causing the plane to decompress and peanuts to go everywhere, much to Boris’ distress), then leapt out into the blue sky.
The children (who fortunately were safely strapped in their seats. Which just goes to show you should always obey the seatbelt rules on a plane just in case a pig does try to hijack it) looked out the window and watched their nanny’s evil twin sister plummet back to earth.
‘Will she be all right?’ yelled Samantha over the roar of air whipping out of the cabin.
‘Of course,’ shouted Nanny Piggins. ‘She may be evil, but she’s still a Piggins.’
In the far distance, Wendy Piggins’ parachute popped open.
Inside the aeroplane cabin Nanny Piggins managed to restore calm by getting Boris to sit inthe open doorway. His bottom was large enough to completely block it, without there being any chance of him accidentally getting sucked through. (The only way he had got in the plane was by coming through the baggage hold, then punching a hole up through the cabin floor.)
After they touched down safely, Nanny Piggins, Boris, the children and the special agents managed to make it to the awards ceremony with only two more kidnap attempts.
The first one Nanny Piggins managed to thwart by smacking the kidnapper hard on the nose with a
Nanny Piggins was just about to put the peanuts in her pocket, in case she should meet any monkeys in Stockholm, when she looked up and caught the air hostess’ eye.
‘Wait a minute,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘You look familiar. Have we met before?’
‘No,’ said the air hostess, a little too quickly.
‘Take off your jaunty little air hostess cap,’ ordered Nanny Piggins.
‘You can’t make me,’ said the air hostess, backing away.
‘Oh yes I can!’ said Nanny Piggins.
‘Sarah!’ exclaimed Boris. ‘Don’t attack the air hostess. She hasn’t served the in-flight meal yet!’
But it was too late. Nanny Piggins and the air hostess were wrestling on the floor. And it was a surprisingly even match. Nanny Piggins gave the air hostess a good bite on the shin. But the air hostess gave Nanny Piggins a good tug on her wig. Nanny Piggins whacked the hostess on the head with an in-flight entertainment guide. The air hostess tried to shove a sick bag up Nanny Piggins’ nose. So there was a great deal of rolling about while they alternated between one of them yelling ‘Take that!’and the other yelling ‘Ow!’, before Nanny Piggins finally leapt up holding a red wig and the jaunty little stewardess cap.
‘Aha!’ shouted Nanny Piggins. ‘I knew it! You’re no air hostess. You’re my identical fourteenuplet sister Wendy!’
Everyone was shocked.
‘Another one?!’ exclaimed Michael.
‘Which one is Wendy?’ Samantha asked Boris.
‘The evil one,’ whispered Boris.
The air hostess got to her feet and, if not for the fact that she was wearing an air hostess uniform, it would have been impossible to tell her apart from Nanny Piggins.
‘I’m hijacking this plane!’ announced Wendy.
‘Why?’ asked Nanny Piggins. ‘Airline food isn’t that good.’
‘I’ve been paid to kidnap you,’ explained Wendy.
‘Well, you won’t be paid today,’ announced Nanny Piggins, ‘because I’m not Deidre, I’m Sarah.’ Nanny Piggins whipped off her own wig and glasses, revealing her beautiful brown bob.
‘No!’ gasped Wendy. ‘I don’t believe it. How do I know you’re not just Deidre wearing a wig, on top of a wig, as a brilliant double disguise?’
‘When have you ever known Deidre to do anything that clever?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
Wendy nodded. She had to concede her sister was right.
‘I’m arresting you for attempting to kidnap a physicist!’ declared Special Agent Worton.
‘I’d like to see you try!’ said Wendy as she ripped off her stewardess blazer, revealing the micro-parachute she had strapped to her back, then wrenched open the plane door (causing the plane to decompress and peanuts to go everywhere, much to Boris’ distress), then leapt out into the blue sky.
The children (who fortunately were safely strapped in their seats. Which just goes to show you should always obey the seatbelt rules on a plane just in case a pig does try to hijack it) looked out the window and watched their nanny’s evil twin sister plummet back to earth.
‘Will she be all right?’ yelled Samantha over the roar of air whipping out of the cabin.
‘Of course,’ shouted Nanny Piggins. ‘She may be evil, but she’s still a Piggins.’
In the far distance, Wendy Piggins’ parachute popped open.
Inside the aeroplane cabin Nanny Piggins managed to restore calm by getting Boris to sit inthe open doorway. His bottom was large enough to completely block it, without there being any chance of him accidentally getting sucked through. (The only way he had got in the plane was by coming through the baggage hold, then punching a hole up through the cabin floor.)
After they touched down safely, Nanny Piggins, Boris, the children and the special agents managed to make it to the awards ceremony with only two more kidnap attempts.
The first one Nanny Piggins managed to thwart by smacking the kidnapper hard on the nose with a
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