not to feel the way you do and by
questioning why you do, day in, day out, you have been burdening
yourself with more thoughts and putting more pressure on your
already tired mind. I used to say, “My mind is a little tired at the
moment, there is nothing I can do about it and worrying about it
does not help. Anyway, it will not be there when I recover”.
The mere acceptance of this condition can bring with it a mind that
feels clearer than it has done in months. You may feel normal for a
while and believe that you are fully recovered, only to suddenly feel
engulfed again by feelings of detachment and disorientation. This is
normal; it takes time for your mind to adjust. Just experiencing a
brief moment of clear thinking is enough for you to know that you are
on the right path.
To sum up this chapter, accepting feeling strange means not trying
to work out why you feel like you do, not trying to get rid of these
feelings and not running away from them. It’s about being prepared
to carry on with your life despite them and understanding that it’s
totally normal in the circumstances to feel this way.
- 47 -
Chapter 8
SCARY/IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS
This is another symptom of anxiety that crops up quite often, so let
me try to give you an explanation.
"Why do I seem to have so many thoughts in a day and why are my
thoughts so irrational and scary?” you may ask. Well, don’t worry,
you are not ‘losing it’ or going insane, this is just another off-shoot of
anxiety.
The reason you seem to have your attention on yourself all day and
it feels like there are endless thoughts running through your mind is
twofold.
1. It is all the confusion about how you feel. Your mind spends
all day looking for answers and trying to find a way out of this
hell. Some people may even stay up all night, reflecting on
the whole day and trying to figure everything out. Eventually,
thinking just becomes automatic; it becomes a habit. All day,
every day, these thoughts seem to enter your head before
you even think them. Look at it this way: when people
meditate, they stop thinking for hours on end, until it
becomes a habit and they can go all day without a worrying
thought. This is why they feel so refreshed. Not you, your
thoughts just carry on and on, and when your mind is tired,
as it is now, it grabs hold of every thought, pulling them in
and making them stick.
2. Why are some thoughts so bad? When you are in an anxious
state, emotions seem to be tenfold, everything magnifies and
a little problem becomes massive. Something that you could
dismiss when you were healthy, can stick around all day.
Anxiety is really just caused by adrenalin that needs an outlet, a
release if you like, and this includes manifesting itself into scary,
- 48 -
strange thoughts. They are not important and should be seen for
what they are - anxiety just playing its tricks.
Below are just some of the irrational thoughts on anxiety that I have
come across. I call them the ‘what ifs’!
What if no one can cure me?
What if it’s not anxiety, but a different mental problem?
What if my old self is lost forever?
What if there is something else wrong with me - brain tumour etc?
What if I lose control?
What if I can't breathe?
What if I have to live like this for the rest of my life?
What if this feeling never goes away?
What if it’s just me that feels like this?
What if I'll never be able to enjoy the things I used to?
What if I have an attack and pass out?
What if I cannot be the person I used to be?
You may have asked some of the above questions or recognise a
fear you have. Well, I did too. It was always ‘yes, but what if?’ Well,
all of these ‘what ifs’ usually amount to nothing. They prove to be
just an overactive mind playing its tricks on you. Thoughts seem to
come uninvited and always hold such power when we are anxious.
Also, a lack of understanding of anxiety can bring
questioning why you do, day in, day out, you have been burdening
yourself with more thoughts and putting more pressure on your
already tired mind. I used to say, “My mind is a little tired at the
moment, there is nothing I can do about it and worrying about it
does not help. Anyway, it will not be there when I recover”.
The mere acceptance of this condition can bring with it a mind that
feels clearer than it has done in months. You may feel normal for a
while and believe that you are fully recovered, only to suddenly feel
engulfed again by feelings of detachment and disorientation. This is
normal; it takes time for your mind to adjust. Just experiencing a
brief moment of clear thinking is enough for you to know that you are
on the right path.
To sum up this chapter, accepting feeling strange means not trying
to work out why you feel like you do, not trying to get rid of these
feelings and not running away from them. It’s about being prepared
to carry on with your life despite them and understanding that it’s
totally normal in the circumstances to feel this way.
- 47 -
Chapter 8
SCARY/IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS
This is another symptom of anxiety that crops up quite often, so let
me try to give you an explanation.
"Why do I seem to have so many thoughts in a day and why are my
thoughts so irrational and scary?” you may ask. Well, don’t worry,
you are not ‘losing it’ or going insane, this is just another off-shoot of
anxiety.
The reason you seem to have your attention on yourself all day and
it feels like there are endless thoughts running through your mind is
twofold.
1. It is all the confusion about how you feel. Your mind spends
all day looking for answers and trying to find a way out of this
hell. Some people may even stay up all night, reflecting on
the whole day and trying to figure everything out. Eventually,
thinking just becomes automatic; it becomes a habit. All day,
every day, these thoughts seem to enter your head before
you even think them. Look at it this way: when people
meditate, they stop thinking for hours on end, until it
becomes a habit and they can go all day without a worrying
thought. This is why they feel so refreshed. Not you, your
thoughts just carry on and on, and when your mind is tired,
as it is now, it grabs hold of every thought, pulling them in
and making them stick.
2. Why are some thoughts so bad? When you are in an anxious
state, emotions seem to be tenfold, everything magnifies and
a little problem becomes massive. Something that you could
dismiss when you were healthy, can stick around all day.
Anxiety is really just caused by adrenalin that needs an outlet, a
release if you like, and this includes manifesting itself into scary,
- 48 -
strange thoughts. They are not important and should be seen for
what they are - anxiety just playing its tricks.
Below are just some of the irrational thoughts on anxiety that I have
come across. I call them the ‘what ifs’!
What if no one can cure me?
What if it’s not anxiety, but a different mental problem?
What if my old self is lost forever?
What if there is something else wrong with me - brain tumour etc?
What if I lose control?
What if I can't breathe?
What if I have to live like this for the rest of my life?
What if this feeling never goes away?
What if it’s just me that feels like this?
What if I'll never be able to enjoy the things I used to?
What if I have an attack and pass out?
What if I cannot be the person I used to be?
You may have asked some of the above questions or recognise a
fear you have. Well, I did too. It was always ‘yes, but what if?’ Well,
all of these ‘what ifs’ usually amount to nothing. They prove to be
just an overactive mind playing its tricks on you. Thoughts seem to
come uninvited and always hold such power when we are anxious.
Also, a lack of understanding of anxiety can bring
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