Read Online I'Ll Go Home Then, It's Warm and Has Chairs. The Unpublished Emails. - by David Thorne - Free Book Online
Authors: David Thorne
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complaint.
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From: Jennifer Haines
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 9.26am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Meeting this afternoon.
Good morning David,
I hope you had a good weekend. I'm not sure how many client meetings you have today but can we find time this afternoon to have a chat? Simon has filed another formal complaint against you which makes a total of 14 this year. I thought it might be a good idea if all three of us sat down to have an open discussion and try to work towards a resolution.
Jennifer
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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 9.34am
To: Jennifer Haines
Subject: Re: Meeting this afternoon.
Good morning Jen,
The last time I checked, there were only twelve complaints and two of those were complaining that nothing had been done about the other ten. What are the thirteenth and fourteenth regarding?
Regards, David.
…………………………………………………
From: Jennifer Haines
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 9.51am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Meeting this afternoon.
Simon filed a F26-A on the 9th of this month stating you had changed his server login ID to Mr Bobbity Head and another on Friday claiming you hacked into his personal Amazon account and ordered a book about boats. He printed screen shots and supplied these with the F26-A. Under section 5, paragraph 2 of the Employee Workplace Agreement which we all signed, I am meant to provide support through discussion of the issue with both parties. Would 2.45 today be ok with you?
Jennifer
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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 10.14am
To: Jennifer Haines
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Meeting this afternoon.
Dear Jen,
If Simon really took offence to the title Mr Bobbity Head, he would put some effort into stopping its thrashing about as if he is asleep on a rollercoaster. I passed him in the corridor this morning and had to perform a tuck and roll. Providing support through discussion would seem to me less effective than some kind of medical neck brace.
Although I received no request from Simon to change his login name, which would possibly have been more appropriate than a formal complaint, to appease his denial of truth, I have amended it to Mr Non-Bobbity Head.
In regards to Simon's Amazon account, my 'hacking' knowledge consists entirely of having seen the movie Sneakers eighteen years ago. Renting an apartment across the street with an unobstructed view of Simon's keyboard through a telescope would require far greater organisational skills than I believe I have ever exhibited while working here. I have three months of unfinished work on my desk and spent last week playing Words with Friends on my phone. As such, it is more likely he simply ordered the book about boats himself and then forgot doing so.
I saw a movie once where Goldie Hawn bumped her head on a boat and got amnesia. Snake Plissken made her look after his kids. It's entirely plausible that, after ordering the book about boats, Simon struck his head during one of his bobbity jaunts down the corridor.
Alternatively, he may have repressed the memory. I have read that repressed memories may sometimes be recovered years or decades after the event, triggered by a particular smell, taste, or suggestion through hypnotism. I am happy to attempt to hypnotise Simon if you think this may help. I will email him now and schedule a time.
Regards, David.
…………………………………………………
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 10.18am
To: Simon Dempsey
Subject: pressed memories.
Dear Simon,
Jen and I have been discussing the possibility that you may have Repressed Memory Syndrome and feel it might be helpful
…………………………………………………
From: Jennifer Haines
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 9.26am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Meeting this afternoon.
Good morning David,
I hope you had a good weekend. I'm not sure how many client meetings you have today but can we find time this afternoon to have a chat? Simon has filed another formal complaint against you which makes a total of 14 this year. I thought it might be a good idea if all three of us sat down to have an open discussion and try to work towards a resolution.
Jennifer
…………………………………………………
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 9.34am
To: Jennifer Haines
Subject: Re: Meeting this afternoon.
Good morning Jen,
The last time I checked, there were only twelve complaints and two of those were complaining that nothing had been done about the other ten. What are the thirteenth and fourteenth regarding?
Regards, David.
…………………………………………………
From: Jennifer Haines
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 9.51am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Meeting this afternoon.
Simon filed a F26-A on the 9th of this month stating you had changed his server login ID to Mr Bobbity Head and another on Friday claiming you hacked into his personal Amazon account and ordered a book about boats. He printed screen shots and supplied these with the F26-A. Under section 5, paragraph 2 of the Employee Workplace Agreement which we all signed, I am meant to provide support through discussion of the issue with both parties. Would 2.45 today be ok with you?
Jennifer
…………………………………………………
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 10.14am
To: Jennifer Haines
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Meeting this afternoon.
Dear Jen,
If Simon really took offence to the title Mr Bobbity Head, he would put some effort into stopping its thrashing about as if he is asleep on a rollercoaster. I passed him in the corridor this morning and had to perform a tuck and roll. Providing support through discussion would seem to me less effective than some kind of medical neck brace.
Although I received no request from Simon to change his login name, which would possibly have been more appropriate than a formal complaint, to appease his denial of truth, I have amended it to Mr Non-Bobbity Head.
In regards to Simon's Amazon account, my 'hacking' knowledge consists entirely of having seen the movie Sneakers eighteen years ago. Renting an apartment across the street with an unobstructed view of Simon's keyboard through a telescope would require far greater organisational skills than I believe I have ever exhibited while working here. I have three months of unfinished work on my desk and spent last week playing Words with Friends on my phone. As such, it is more likely he simply ordered the book about boats himself and then forgot doing so.
I saw a movie once where Goldie Hawn bumped her head on a boat and got amnesia. Snake Plissken made her look after his kids. It's entirely plausible that, after ordering the book about boats, Simon struck his head during one of his bobbity jaunts down the corridor.
Alternatively, he may have repressed the memory. I have read that repressed memories may sometimes be recovered years or decades after the event, triggered by a particular smell, taste, or suggestion through hypnotism. I am happy to attempt to hypnotise Simon if you think this may help. I will email him now and schedule a time.
Regards, David.
…………………………………………………
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 November 2011 10.18am
To: Simon Dempsey
Subject: pressed memories.
Dear Simon,
Jen and I have been discussing the possibility that you may have Repressed Memory Syndrome and feel it might be helpful
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