Read Online A Million Tears by Paul Henke - Free Book Online
Authors: Paul Henke
Tags: Historical
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she meant, but I put it down to her usual brush off whenever I mentioned leaving Wales.
Though I felt weak, I was allowed downstairs and to walk around a little. The doctor explained I was not to overdo it because pneumonia leaves the heart and lungs weak and I had to take care. If I did, then I would eventually get back to normal. It had been three weeks since I fell ill; since Sian’s death. The village was still in mourning, though the people, used to tragedy, were beginning to put it behind them. I heard the vicar was preaching the goodness of God, quoting often, ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me’. Perhaps for many it offered consolation but for me, and I suspected for Da as well, it offered nothing. There were eight days to go to the wedding anniversary when Grandmother Osborne called in.
‘But Megan,’ she said plaintively, ‘you can’t have a party. Not so soon after the little one’s burial. It’s not nice.’ Grandmother thought of everything in terms of whether it was nice or not. She was dressed in her habitual black dress, as shapeless as she was. ‘What will the village think and say? Thank you,’ she added taking another biscuit and promptly dunking it in her tea.
‘Never mind what the village thinks or says,’ Mam emphasised the word says. ‘Evan and I have decided that that’s what we want. Mourning for our little girl doesn’t help anyone, least of all us.’
Grandmother Osborne looked put out for the moment. ‘Well, I don’t think it’s right. Her only just in her grave and all.’
‘Listen Mam,’ she replied, ‘it’s a quiet get together of the family. It’ll do us all good. We need to talk about the accident if it helps clear people’s feelings. We can’t ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen, worried we’ll say the wrong thing and upset the others. It’ll be good for Huw and Mair as well, if we can persuade them to come. They said they’d think about it. Perhaps the sight of all the other children will be too much now they’ve lost Johnny. It might be. I know how I’ll be feeling about Sian and I know how Evan will feel and Dai and Sion. But we must still . . .’ she faltered a moment, ‘still make the effort and get back to normal as quickly as we can. Life goes on, Mam, and we have to go on with it.’ There was a sort of defiance as she poured more tea for the three of us. Sion was out playing or else round visiting Uncle James and Da was at work. The school was still closed and looked as though it would not be opened for some time, if ever. There was talk of using the chapel vestry for classes for some of the older children but so far nothing had come of it. There was also talk of getting the mine owners to build a new school away from the danger areas of the slagheaps. Somebody was supposed to investigate what had happened but what good would come of that we all knew only too well – nothing.
The Union was making its usual noises but its only definite offer of help was to contribute towards the memorial for the children. The mine owners had also offered a contribution but I had not heard whether it was accepted or not. The owners were insisting what had happened was nothing to do with them, but had been an Act of God. Bitterness against the owners was rising. There was a threat of serious trouble in the offing.
I cannot say I liked my Grandmother very much. She was too fussy, always telling me what I should or should not do. Like ‘don’t play in the river, Dai,’ ‘don’t climb trees, Dai,’ ‘don’t go over to the quarry with the other children, Dai,’ ‘you’ll get into trouble, Dai’ . . . and so on all the time. She had never believed Da was good enough for Mam but I had heard uncle Albert tell Da that was usual – no man was ever good enough for any woman’s daughter.
With an air of finality Grandmother replaced her cup and stood up. ‘I must be going.’ Both Mam and I remained silent. ‘All I can say, Megan, is I hope
Though I felt weak, I was allowed downstairs and to walk around a little. The doctor explained I was not to overdo it because pneumonia leaves the heart and lungs weak and I had to take care. If I did, then I would eventually get back to normal. It had been three weeks since I fell ill; since Sian’s death. The village was still in mourning, though the people, used to tragedy, were beginning to put it behind them. I heard the vicar was preaching the goodness of God, quoting often, ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me’. Perhaps for many it offered consolation but for me, and I suspected for Da as well, it offered nothing. There were eight days to go to the wedding anniversary when Grandmother Osborne called in.
‘But Megan,’ she said plaintively, ‘you can’t have a party. Not so soon after the little one’s burial. It’s not nice.’ Grandmother thought of everything in terms of whether it was nice or not. She was dressed in her habitual black dress, as shapeless as she was. ‘What will the village think and say? Thank you,’ she added taking another biscuit and promptly dunking it in her tea.
‘Never mind what the village thinks or says,’ Mam emphasised the word says. ‘Evan and I have decided that that’s what we want. Mourning for our little girl doesn’t help anyone, least of all us.’
Grandmother Osborne looked put out for the moment. ‘Well, I don’t think it’s right. Her only just in her grave and all.’
‘Listen Mam,’ she replied, ‘it’s a quiet get together of the family. It’ll do us all good. We need to talk about the accident if it helps clear people’s feelings. We can’t ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen, worried we’ll say the wrong thing and upset the others. It’ll be good for Huw and Mair as well, if we can persuade them to come. They said they’d think about it. Perhaps the sight of all the other children will be too much now they’ve lost Johnny. It might be. I know how I’ll be feeling about Sian and I know how Evan will feel and Dai and Sion. But we must still . . .’ she faltered a moment, ‘still make the effort and get back to normal as quickly as we can. Life goes on, Mam, and we have to go on with it.’ There was a sort of defiance as she poured more tea for the three of us. Sion was out playing or else round visiting Uncle James and Da was at work. The school was still closed and looked as though it would not be opened for some time, if ever. There was talk of using the chapel vestry for classes for some of the older children but so far nothing had come of it. There was also talk of getting the mine owners to build a new school away from the danger areas of the slagheaps. Somebody was supposed to investigate what had happened but what good would come of that we all knew only too well – nothing.
The Union was making its usual noises but its only definite offer of help was to contribute towards the memorial for the children. The mine owners had also offered a contribution but I had not heard whether it was accepted or not. The owners were insisting what had happened was nothing to do with them, but had been an Act of God. Bitterness against the owners was rising. There was a threat of serious trouble in the offing.
I cannot say I liked my Grandmother very much. She was too fussy, always telling me what I should or should not do. Like ‘don’t play in the river, Dai,’ ‘don’t climb trees, Dai,’ ‘don’t go over to the quarry with the other children, Dai,’ ‘you’ll get into trouble, Dai’ . . . and so on all the time. She had never believed Da was good enough for Mam but I had heard uncle Albert tell Da that was usual – no man was ever good enough for any woman’s daughter.
With an air of finality Grandmother replaced her cup and stood up. ‘I must be going.’ Both Mam and I remained silent. ‘All I can say, Megan, is I hope
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