Read Online Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson - Free Book Online
Authors: Diana Richardson
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through making love and not simply by mental understanding. With the practice of relaxing into the sexual energy, and learning to "be," many old emotional patterns, habits, reactions, and problems cease to be motivated. The thrust toward unconsciousness and the energy it consumes is gradually retraced into the silver thread of consciousness weaving in the body.
T HE EYES ARE ENORMOUSLY SEXY. Often when they meet another's eyes, you will find the surge of sex within you. If you have ever had the opportunity to lie beside your lover simply meeting each other through the eyes, it can be an enormous turn-on and an important part of foreplay. This is because the eyes are powerful channels for sexual energy. They reveal our nakedness and our innocence and expose us to the reality of the present moment. This helps us to be authentic. With eyes open we know where we are and who we are with.
When this channel through the eyes is opened, sexual exchange with your partner becomes more dynamic and vital. It is understood that 80 percent of our energy is projected out of the eyes in normal vision, thrown out and released in looking out through them. This tension is easy to see in people as a lack of structural alignment, where the head and ears lie unnaturally well forward of the shoulders. The eyes, however, are designed to receive an image and we can see without making any effort to see. It happens anyway. The eye absorbs the picture. This implies that we lose, or leak, a great deal of energy out of the eyes in looking. It happens in our daily lives, as we continually search around the environment, keeping an eye on what is happening, interesting distractions, some novelty somewhere, one step ahead of ourselves. Our eyes are more related to the mind and its restlessness, while there is no relationship whatsoever between our vision and the inner dimensions of the body.
Making and keeping eye contact
So, too, in lovemaking. At first when I started to keep my eyes open, meeting the eyes of my lover, I felt awkward and shy, so exposed that I recall laughing in my nervousness and embarrassment. I felt so completely artificial. I could as easily have cried, with the painful revelation that I had never truly been "here" before, been genuine before. I had been accustomed to making love either with my eyes closed or in the dark, and not really available to my lover here and now. But after a short while of experimenting I got used to it, and open eyes soon became an essential energetic connection to myself and my lover. Without it, I felt curiously absent.
In our society we are often reluctant to look someone straight in the eye. We speak to each other while we look around and away, at the mouth, at their shoes, their hair, the baby. Seldom do we hold each other's eyes for a few seconds or longer. We sometimes even interpret eye contact as an intrusion, an invasion of our privacy, or a challenge and exertion of power or authority.
Even if maintaining eye contact while making love feels uncomfortable at first, I encourage you to stay with it because there is so much to be gained. It is the most wonderful sharing of energy and you will often feel an immediate sexual response within you. Eye contact has also helped me to create presence in my lovemaking by recognizing the masks of my personality. After I had laughed and wept my way through them, I felt a freshness and it seemed there was less haze covering the picture around me. A natural intimacy arose, a feeling of closeness, and the sense of isolation dissolved. Then I began to try and receive my partner through my eyes, taking him within my body as I deepened my relaxation. Whenever I reached a point where I felt that open eyes were hindering the consciousness in my vagina, I closed them in order to look deep down into by body with my inner eye.
Seeing and being seen
Making eye contact is an art in itself. I found it useful to begin by allowing my eyes to have what can be called
T HE EYES ARE ENORMOUSLY SEXY. Often when they meet another's eyes, you will find the surge of sex within you. If you have ever had the opportunity to lie beside your lover simply meeting each other through the eyes, it can be an enormous turn-on and an important part of foreplay. This is because the eyes are powerful channels for sexual energy. They reveal our nakedness and our innocence and expose us to the reality of the present moment. This helps us to be authentic. With eyes open we know where we are and who we are with.
When this channel through the eyes is opened, sexual exchange with your partner becomes more dynamic and vital. It is understood that 80 percent of our energy is projected out of the eyes in normal vision, thrown out and released in looking out through them. This tension is easy to see in people as a lack of structural alignment, where the head and ears lie unnaturally well forward of the shoulders. The eyes, however, are designed to receive an image and we can see without making any effort to see. It happens anyway. The eye absorbs the picture. This implies that we lose, or leak, a great deal of energy out of the eyes in looking. It happens in our daily lives, as we continually search around the environment, keeping an eye on what is happening, interesting distractions, some novelty somewhere, one step ahead of ourselves. Our eyes are more related to the mind and its restlessness, while there is no relationship whatsoever between our vision and the inner dimensions of the body.
Making and keeping eye contact
So, too, in lovemaking. At first when I started to keep my eyes open, meeting the eyes of my lover, I felt awkward and shy, so exposed that I recall laughing in my nervousness and embarrassment. I felt so completely artificial. I could as easily have cried, with the painful revelation that I had never truly been "here" before, been genuine before. I had been accustomed to making love either with my eyes closed or in the dark, and not really available to my lover here and now. But after a short while of experimenting I got used to it, and open eyes soon became an essential energetic connection to myself and my lover. Without it, I felt curiously absent.
In our society we are often reluctant to look someone straight in the eye. We speak to each other while we look around and away, at the mouth, at their shoes, their hair, the baby. Seldom do we hold each other's eyes for a few seconds or longer. We sometimes even interpret eye contact as an intrusion, an invasion of our privacy, or a challenge and exertion of power or authority.
Even if maintaining eye contact while making love feels uncomfortable at first, I encourage you to stay with it because there is so much to be gained. It is the most wonderful sharing of energy and you will often feel an immediate sexual response within you. Eye contact has also helped me to create presence in my lovemaking by recognizing the masks of my personality. After I had laughed and wept my way through them, I felt a freshness and it seemed there was less haze covering the picture around me. A natural intimacy arose, a feeling of closeness, and the sense of isolation dissolved. Then I began to try and receive my partner through my eyes, taking him within my body as I deepened my relaxation. Whenever I reached a point where I felt that open eyes were hindering the consciousness in my vagina, I closed them in order to look deep down into by body with my inner eye.
Seeing and being seen
Making eye contact is an art in itself. I found it useful to begin by allowing my eyes to have what can be called
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