Read Online Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Diana Richardson
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so he or she is not left in confusion, wondering where you have gone.
Remember that using the eyes is only a key to support you, not to undermine you. If opening your eyes makes you feel so awkward that your body seems miles away, it's better to close them and feel comfortable with yourself. When you feel rooted in your body again, then try opening your eyes again and see how it feels. If you find your eyes burning or weeping, this indicates a great deal of tension held in the eyes. Don't worry; it will pass as your eyes begin to relax with the sensation of being exposed. Always experiment and find the way that works best for you. Hold your faces apart at a distance that feels comfortable to both of you. Some people have difficulties with focus at close range. Expressing honestly what feels right and what doesn't can help you to relax, create the present and become aware of what is happening now.
Holding the space between you
I found that if I faced my partner, made love face to face, it helped me enormously to be present. This sounds obvious because with eye contact we are facing each other, but it is more subtle than this. By "facing" I mean allow your faces to be in ongoing proximity, inches apart, with an awareness of the closeness of your partner's face to your face. Use this when eye contact is not possible and also generally when you need a rest from direct eye contact. The eyes can hold the space between the faces, absorbing the skin, the chin, the cheeks, brows, forehead, profile. This brings incredible sensuality into love. I noticed in contrast, that when I nuzzled my face into the neck, shoulder, or chest of my partner I was dramatically less present. It felt familiar and comforting, but it was not a challenge, so easy for me to drift away. The instant I drew back into physical alignment, bringing my head and spine into one line, my face in close range of my lover's face, the effect of regaining consciousness was wonderful as presence entered the air. I found that when I crossed the mid-line of his body, leaned forward beyond his ear, moving my face away from his, or turning my face to the side, I lost contact to this moment. Because of the familiarity and associations of a certain way of embracing it is possible to lose presence, simply because we are accustomed to the embrace. Use the eyes to bridge the gap between you, bringing heightened sensuality as consciousness filters through the body.
Give yourself plenty of time and space to experiment with the eyes rather than make rules, and to receive the sincerity and openness of your lover. See how soft you can become and how deeply you can take him in through your eyes. Look right back into yourself and see how far you can go. One day a moment will arise when a doorway opens and the sex center and eyes unite. It's breathtaking!
R EMEMBER TO BREATHE! Breathe deeply and slowly. When you really get the knack of enjoying breathing, it becomes absolutely divine. It brings sensuality and sensitivity to the body and propels us into the experience of the present moment. Thus breath can be used consciously as a tremendous contribution to lovemaking and foreplay. There are many therapies and approaches to breath that suggest specific and special breath techniques, systems to follow, energy centers on which to focus, where to breathe in and out, but I found it best to just keep it simple, to remember to breathe. When I tried to focus on a specific breathing pattern, I noticed I was focused on the in and out of it all. My attention was riveted on the mastering of a breath technique while my body sensations, the experience of receiving and absorbing the breath, faded into the background. Instead of trying to control your breathing, it is far better as a starting point to simply be aware of the breath in the way that it moves naturally in and out of you.
The breath can be described as a bridge between mind and body, and paying attention to its rhythm becomes a
Remember that using the eyes is only a key to support you, not to undermine you. If opening your eyes makes you feel so awkward that your body seems miles away, it's better to close them and feel comfortable with yourself. When you feel rooted in your body again, then try opening your eyes again and see how it feels. If you find your eyes burning or weeping, this indicates a great deal of tension held in the eyes. Don't worry; it will pass as your eyes begin to relax with the sensation of being exposed. Always experiment and find the way that works best for you. Hold your faces apart at a distance that feels comfortable to both of you. Some people have difficulties with focus at close range. Expressing honestly what feels right and what doesn't can help you to relax, create the present and become aware of what is happening now.
Holding the space between you
I found that if I faced my partner, made love face to face, it helped me enormously to be present. This sounds obvious because with eye contact we are facing each other, but it is more subtle than this. By "facing" I mean allow your faces to be in ongoing proximity, inches apart, with an awareness of the closeness of your partner's face to your face. Use this when eye contact is not possible and also generally when you need a rest from direct eye contact. The eyes can hold the space between the faces, absorbing the skin, the chin, the cheeks, brows, forehead, profile. This brings incredible sensuality into love. I noticed in contrast, that when I nuzzled my face into the neck, shoulder, or chest of my partner I was dramatically less present. It felt familiar and comforting, but it was not a challenge, so easy for me to drift away. The instant I drew back into physical alignment, bringing my head and spine into one line, my face in close range of my lover's face, the effect of regaining consciousness was wonderful as presence entered the air. I found that when I crossed the mid-line of his body, leaned forward beyond his ear, moving my face away from his, or turning my face to the side, I lost contact to this moment. Because of the familiarity and associations of a certain way of embracing it is possible to lose presence, simply because we are accustomed to the embrace. Use the eyes to bridge the gap between you, bringing heightened sensuality as consciousness filters through the body.
Give yourself plenty of time and space to experiment with the eyes rather than make rules, and to receive the sincerity and openness of your lover. See how soft you can become and how deeply you can take him in through your eyes. Look right back into yourself and see how far you can go. One day a moment will arise when a doorway opens and the sex center and eyes unite. It's breathtaking!
R EMEMBER TO BREATHE! Breathe deeply and slowly. When you really get the knack of enjoying breathing, it becomes absolutely divine. It brings sensuality and sensitivity to the body and propels us into the experience of the present moment. Thus breath can be used consciously as a tremendous contribution to lovemaking and foreplay. There are many therapies and approaches to breath that suggest specific and special breath techniques, systems to follow, energy centers on which to focus, where to breathe in and out, but I found it best to just keep it simple, to remember to breathe. When I tried to focus on a specific breathing pattern, I noticed I was focused on the in and out of it all. My attention was riveted on the mastering of a breath technique while my body sensations, the experience of receiving and absorbing the breath, faded into the background. Instead of trying to control your breathing, it is far better as a starting point to simply be aware of the breath in the way that it moves naturally in and out of you.
The breath can be described as a bridge between mind and body, and paying attention to its rhythm becomes a
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