Read Online Bitten (Black Mountain Bears Book 2) by Ophelia Bell, Amelie Hunt - Free Book Online
Authors: Ophelia Bell, Amelie Hunt
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damage for our mistake. And I just . . . ”
Suddenly her throat closed up and she choked on her still very present shame. She couldn’t face her mother after that. Because how could she confess the loss of her own mother’s first grandchild? The loss of the one thing her race valued above all else: a new life. She and Aidan would have both been vilified if they’d told anyone what they’d done. They would have been exiled, rendered infertile, stripped of their ranks, their power.
She had another chance now, and with her entire being she ached to discover if it were possible to truly start fresh. Aidan was not the person she should do it with. They had too many old ghosts and regrets. Suddenly she hated him just a little bit for the ultimatum he’d given her. No, she would rather tear out her own heart than let go of Jasper and Gunnar. Even if it meant infertility and exile. They would understand, she had to have that much faith in them, at least.
“It isn’t fair of you to hold this over me,” she whispered. “I finally have a chance at a life. I finally chose mates after all this time. Two men who deserve more than this, Aidan.”
She stared up at him through eyes blurred by tears. It was bad enough she had to carry this old hurt inside her, but to ask her to leave behind a love she never thought she’d find?
He sat back in his chair and dug his hands into his denim-clad thighs. The dark-gold stubble on his strong, square chin glinted like copper in the firelight. That same shock of blond hair fell over his forehead, reminding her of the younger version of him she’d fallen for so many years ago. His broad chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh.
“I had a chance with Emma Stonetree. She was going to be my redemption. But then Gunnar cut in line. I thought getting you back would teach Gunnar a lesson for horning in on what was supposed to be mine.”
Autumn rose up on her knees and clutched his hands in hers. This man she used to know so well had lost his mind, if he believed his future chances were so hopeless.
She reached up and gripped that beautiful chin hard in her hand, forcing him to look at her. His gaze drifted warily to hers.
“First of all, it wasn’t Gunnar’s fault. That was all my idea, but it had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with the fact that Jasper and his sister were dying. I’d just found a second male I knew I wanted, who made me feel the way you used to before our lives went to shit. Gunnar made it possible for Emma to be with her chosen mates—the ones she wanted, not the one your mothers chose for her.”
Aidan flinched and tried to pull away, but Autumn held on tight, refusing to give an inch.
“And for the love of Gaia, forget about what your mother thinks, for once! Go on a proper pilgrimage, find a human female. Any woman would be lucky to have you. Do you have any idea how wonderful you could be if you’d just stop living in that woman’s shadow? I got to see that side of you when you were out in the light. We had three amazing years together out here. You were everything I wanted then, but losing the baby broke us. Find another way to redeem yourself in your own eyes. Forcing me to choose you now is not the way to do that.”
She finally let him wrench himself free of her. He stood and stared down at her with a perplexing mix of despair and reverence on his face.
“We’d have been so good together,” he said softly. “But you’re right. Maybe it’s too late for us. I just don’t know how to fucking move forward. I’ve been in limbo for so long, Autumn. I’ve hoped we could reconcile ever since you left. I tried to get over it, but nothing worked.”
She let her hands fall to her thighs and watched him pace the room. Emotion welled up along with the need to confess every old hurt she’d carried with her since they’d parted.
“I never really stopped loving you, either, you know.” The confession left behind an aching hollow in her
Suddenly her throat closed up and she choked on her still very present shame. She couldn’t face her mother after that. Because how could she confess the loss of her own mother’s first grandchild? The loss of the one thing her race valued above all else: a new life. She and Aidan would have both been vilified if they’d told anyone what they’d done. They would have been exiled, rendered infertile, stripped of their ranks, their power.
She had another chance now, and with her entire being she ached to discover if it were possible to truly start fresh. Aidan was not the person she should do it with. They had too many old ghosts and regrets. Suddenly she hated him just a little bit for the ultimatum he’d given her. No, she would rather tear out her own heart than let go of Jasper and Gunnar. Even if it meant infertility and exile. They would understand, she had to have that much faith in them, at least.
“It isn’t fair of you to hold this over me,” she whispered. “I finally have a chance at a life. I finally chose mates after all this time. Two men who deserve more than this, Aidan.”
She stared up at him through eyes blurred by tears. It was bad enough she had to carry this old hurt inside her, but to ask her to leave behind a love she never thought she’d find?
He sat back in his chair and dug his hands into his denim-clad thighs. The dark-gold stubble on his strong, square chin glinted like copper in the firelight. That same shock of blond hair fell over his forehead, reminding her of the younger version of him she’d fallen for so many years ago. His broad chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh.
“I had a chance with Emma Stonetree. She was going to be my redemption. But then Gunnar cut in line. I thought getting you back would teach Gunnar a lesson for horning in on what was supposed to be mine.”
Autumn rose up on her knees and clutched his hands in hers. This man she used to know so well had lost his mind, if he believed his future chances were so hopeless.
She reached up and gripped that beautiful chin hard in her hand, forcing him to look at her. His gaze drifted warily to hers.
“First of all, it wasn’t Gunnar’s fault. That was all my idea, but it had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with the fact that Jasper and his sister were dying. I’d just found a second male I knew I wanted, who made me feel the way you used to before our lives went to shit. Gunnar made it possible for Emma to be with her chosen mates—the ones she wanted, not the one your mothers chose for her.”
Aidan flinched and tried to pull away, but Autumn held on tight, refusing to give an inch.
“And for the love of Gaia, forget about what your mother thinks, for once! Go on a proper pilgrimage, find a human female. Any woman would be lucky to have you. Do you have any idea how wonderful you could be if you’d just stop living in that woman’s shadow? I got to see that side of you when you were out in the light. We had three amazing years together out here. You were everything I wanted then, but losing the baby broke us. Find another way to redeem yourself in your own eyes. Forcing me to choose you now is not the way to do that.”
She finally let him wrench himself free of her. He stood and stared down at her with a perplexing mix of despair and reverence on his face.
“We’d have been so good together,” he said softly. “But you’re right. Maybe it’s too late for us. I just don’t know how to fucking move forward. I’ve been in limbo for so long, Autumn. I’ve hoped we could reconcile ever since you left. I tried to get over it, but nothing worked.”
She let her hands fall to her thighs and watched him pace the room. Emotion welled up along with the need to confess every old hurt she’d carried with her since they’d parted.
“I never really stopped loving you, either, you know.” The confession left behind an aching hollow in her
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