Justin says, “What makes you think that?”
I roll onto my stomach and lean on my elbows. “Last week, I heard Mom saying something to Grandmama about not waiting, and then, I mean, you saw how upset she was at the airport. I think Dad wants us to live here part-time with him.”
“I’ve been erasing phone messages from Realtors.” Justin’s voice is dull.
“What?” I gasp, feeling chilled. “They’re calling already?”
“
That’s
why Mom was crying, I guess.” Justin sighs. “Maybe she doesn’t want to, but everybody’s got to do what Dad wants now.”
“Justin, that’s ridiculous. Mom has a business; she’s not going to pack it up just because Dad says so. And if they’re selling thehouse, it’s probably so Mom can get an apartment or something. If they’re sharing custody, we’ll have half our stuff here.”
“I’m not staying even half-time. Mom can act like Dad’s … clothing thing doesn’t mean anything, but I’m not playing this game. We’ll move in with Grandmama and Poppy. It’s a long commute to Medanos Valley, but at least we wouldn’t have to change schools.”
“You know what Poppy said when this all started,” I remind him. “He said they’re going to keep out of it.”
“Mom and Dad can’t make us stay here,” Justin insists. “It’s not going to happen.”
I shrug helplessly. “I just don’t see that we’ve got any choice.”
When Justin speaks, his words are garbled by his mouth gear. “Don’ worry, Ys,” he lisps tightly. “Just go t’sleep. Nothing’s going t’happen.”
Adjustments
Justin
The day Poppy came back, we all sat around the dining room table, Mom in her usual spot closest to the kitchen, Grandmama next to Poppy, their fingers knotted tightly together, and Ysabel and me across from them. I knew what this was about, and all over again I was struggling to breathe. I wanted to hear Poppy say it. At the same time, I wanted him to shove what he knew into a box, drop it to the bottom of the ocean, and never speak of it again. Just saying the words out loud would make them true. If I didn’t let Poppy talk, we could pretend that none of this was happening.
It wasn’t any easier for Mom. I knew Poppy had already told her and Grandmama something, but Mom was holding herself stiffly, her lips pressed together firmly and her back straight. Ysabel was sitting with her arms wrapped around herself the same way Mom was, and I realized that Mom’s tension was for me and Ysabel.
For a moment, I was able to think about someone other than myself, and I felt sick. Ysabel hadn’t believed me before. For her sake, I didn’t want her to believe me now.
“We don’t need to hear this, Poppy,” I blurted, trying to stop him.
For the first time in my life, I heard Poppy stutter. A lawyer, who never asks a question unless he already halfway knows the answer, a smooth-voiced wordsmith, my grandfather looked at me and shook his head. “Justin.” He stopped and started twice before he finally said the words.
“You need to know. Your father is … dressing and living as a woman named Christine right now.” Poppy explained briefly where he’d found Dad, but his first sentence was all that kept ringing through my brain.
Dressing and living as a woman … Christine
.
While Poppy spoke, Ysabel looked at Mom, then at me, then back at Poppy. Grandmama looked at the table, trying to hold on to her composure. Eventually, Poppy’s voice died, and he pressed his palms down on the table. We sat in silence.
After a long moment, Mom reached out a hand to Ysabel and the other to me. “Did you already know?” she asked. “Talk to me,” she said, and her voice sounded ragged.
Ysabel swallowed. She looked at me, as if expecting me to jump in. I couldn’t.
Mom’s words were a rushed jumble, a little high-pitched. “I knew something was wrong.… I thought it was the job. Too much stress, maybe. Are you shocked? I’ve known for a little over a
I roll onto my stomach and lean on my elbows. “Last week, I heard Mom saying something to Grandmama about not waiting, and then, I mean, you saw how upset she was at the airport. I think Dad wants us to live here part-time with him.”
“I’ve been erasing phone messages from Realtors.” Justin’s voice is dull.
“What?” I gasp, feeling chilled. “They’re calling already?”
“
That’s
why Mom was crying, I guess.” Justin sighs. “Maybe she doesn’t want to, but everybody’s got to do what Dad wants now.”
“Justin, that’s ridiculous. Mom has a business; she’s not going to pack it up just because Dad says so. And if they’re selling thehouse, it’s probably so Mom can get an apartment or something. If they’re sharing custody, we’ll have half our stuff here.”
“I’m not staying even half-time. Mom can act like Dad’s … clothing thing doesn’t mean anything, but I’m not playing this game. We’ll move in with Grandmama and Poppy. It’s a long commute to Medanos Valley, but at least we wouldn’t have to change schools.”
“You know what Poppy said when this all started,” I remind him. “He said they’re going to keep out of it.”
“Mom and Dad can’t make us stay here,” Justin insists. “It’s not going to happen.”
I shrug helplessly. “I just don’t see that we’ve got any choice.”
When Justin speaks, his words are garbled by his mouth gear. “Don’ worry, Ys,” he lisps tightly. “Just go t’sleep. Nothing’s going t’happen.”
Adjustments
Justin
The day Poppy came back, we all sat around the dining room table, Mom in her usual spot closest to the kitchen, Grandmama next to Poppy, their fingers knotted tightly together, and Ysabel and me across from them. I knew what this was about, and all over again I was struggling to breathe. I wanted to hear Poppy say it. At the same time, I wanted him to shove what he knew into a box, drop it to the bottom of the ocean, and never speak of it again. Just saying the words out loud would make them true. If I didn’t let Poppy talk, we could pretend that none of this was happening.
It wasn’t any easier for Mom. I knew Poppy had already told her and Grandmama something, but Mom was holding herself stiffly, her lips pressed together firmly and her back straight. Ysabel was sitting with her arms wrapped around herself the same way Mom was, and I realized that Mom’s tension was for me and Ysabel.
For a moment, I was able to think about someone other than myself, and I felt sick. Ysabel hadn’t believed me before. For her sake, I didn’t want her to believe me now.
“We don’t need to hear this, Poppy,” I blurted, trying to stop him.
For the first time in my life, I heard Poppy stutter. A lawyer, who never asks a question unless he already halfway knows the answer, a smooth-voiced wordsmith, my grandfather looked at me and shook his head. “Justin.” He stopped and started twice before he finally said the words.
“You need to know. Your father is … dressing and living as a woman named Christine right now.” Poppy explained briefly where he’d found Dad, but his first sentence was all that kept ringing through my brain.
Dressing and living as a woman … Christine
.
While Poppy spoke, Ysabel looked at Mom, then at me, then back at Poppy. Grandmama looked at the table, trying to hold on to her composure. Eventually, Poppy’s voice died, and he pressed his palms down on the table. We sat in silence.
After a long moment, Mom reached out a hand to Ysabel and the other to me. “Did you already know?” she asked. “Talk to me,” she said, and her voice sounded ragged.
Ysabel swallowed. She looked at me, as if expecting me to jump in. I couldn’t.
Mom’s words were a rushed jumble, a little high-pitched. “I knew something was wrong.… I thought it was the job. Too much stress, maybe. Are you shocked? I’ve known for a little over a
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