God Is Disappointed In You

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Authors: Mark Russell
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on the temple,” God told Solomon. “It’s just as I imagined it would be, and I love it. This is probably the happiest day of my life!
    “Solomon, can I tell you something?” God said, taking Solomon aside for a moment. “I just wanted to say that I know I can seem a little petty sometimes, demanding solid gold handsinks and apples hanging from the ceiling.  
    “And I know I can be a bit of a hothead. But there’s a reason why I get so jealous. The truth is that I love these people, but sometimes I feel like they don’t love me back. And that drives me crazy . The reason the temple means so much to me is that I want it to be a place my people are proud of. I want them to be proud of me .  
    “As much as I love my new temple, I would rather tear it down than see it become another museum to a forgotten god nobody takes seriously anymore. Solomon, I’ve never told anyone this before, but I don’t know what I’d do if the Jews ever stopped loving me.”
    The next morning, as people sobered up from the grand opening party, everyone was truly taken aback at how wonderful God’s temple was. Overnight, the Temple of Solomon became the beating heart of Israel.  
    Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. After the initial excitement over the temple had died down, people gradually turned away from God and began once again worshiping foreign gods. The kings who followed began building temples to other gods, and everyone seemed to agree that they were now too rich and sophisticated to be expected to honor the deal their ancestors had made with God back when they were a homeless nation of hikers.

    God watched as he and his temple were gradually reduced to little more than a tourist trap.
God was so heartbroken that after a while he couldn’t even be bothered to get out of bed, not for miracles, not for scrapbooking, not even to save his people from foreign invasion.
    God barely even noticed as his people were conquered, first by Assyrians and then Babylonians. When the Babylonians showed up at the temple, knocked down its walls, and stole its treasure. Then they set the whole place on fire. The priests were forced to pick the Ark and all of God’s scrapbooks out of the ruins. The temple treasure, the priests, the Ark, God’s scrapbooks, and anyone who was anyone were carted off to Babylon as trophies while Jerusalem burned to the ground, leaving only the smoldering ashes of a dead nation.

Ezra
    After conquering Judah, the Babylonians annihilated Jerusalem, tearing down the city walls, razing the Temple, stealing its treasure and forcing all its brightest, prettiest, and richest people to move to Babylon. The Jews lived in exile for fifty years before Babylon was itself gobbled up by the Persian Empire.  
    The Persian king, Cyrus, didn’t see any reason why people should be forced to live in Babylon against their will, so he let the Jews return to their homeland. In fact, he picked up the bill for their return trip. What a nice young man!

    Despite this perk, hardly anyone wanted to return to the Promised Land. The whole place was in ruins, there were weeds everywhere, and they had all become accustomed to the good life in Babylon.  
    Cyrus thought he could lure them back to their homeland if he rebuilt the temple. So he sent a party of Jews back to Jerusalem to rebuild it.  
    This didn’t make the neighboring kingdoms very happy. The last thing they wanted was an exciting new tourist attraction in the next country over. In order to keep the temple from being rebuilt, they turned to the most devastating tactic of the ancient world:
the letter-writing campaign:

    Dear King of Persia, Master of a Hundred Nations,

    Greetings from the Trans-Euphrates! First off, we just wanted to say how much we LOVE the Persian Empire. These are exciting times, and we look forward to many years of rewarding subjugation. Unfortunately, not everyone seems to be as on board with Persian rule as we are. We recently heard that the Jews (and

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