Read Online Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook by F.L. Fowler - Free Book Online
Authors: F.L. Fowler
Ads: Link
sixteen. Now poor Shifty can’t even chew gum without some kind of kinky cookery. Finesse: it’s a bitch.
“Is this one of her recipes?” I can’t hide an edge of bitterness in my voice.
“No, Miss Hen, it’s my own preparation. And I wish you’d stop obsessing about Julia. You’re flogging a dead horse. She’s my past. You are my future.”
His future! I let this information soak in. I feel my anger subside slightly and my bones grow warm.
My subconscious is squawking, You’ll get burned again . I hear her knock on her perch, but I ignore her. She’s still got the blues about Mrs. Child and she’s got a point, but we’ve got to move on. How can I resist those deft hands? That godlike mouth and tongue? If the brown sugar doesn’t sway me, the bourbon will. Why does it smell so good?
He palms my breast, his fingertips just brushing the sensitive tip. “You fit my hand perfectly, Miss Hen,” he murmurs. “Just like a young bird should.”
No, I won’t let anything come between me and my Shifty Blades. Wild foxes couldn’t drag me away.
chicken fingers with brown sugar and bourbon
SERVES 6
1½ pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, patted dry with paper towels
1 teaspoon pure chile powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon bourbon
Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
Freshly squeezed lemon juice, for drizzling
1 Using a sharp knife, trim the breasts lengthwise into 1-inch-wide fingers.
2 In a medium bowl, combine the chile powder, cumin, salt, and pepper. Add the chicken fingers and mix well until thoroughly coated. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let marinate in the fridge for at least 1 hour, or longer if you want to make the chicken wait for it.
3 Preheat the broiler. Oil a large baking pan or a broiler pan. In a small saucepan, bring the brown sugar, honey, and bourbon to a boil, stirring. Pour half the mixture over the waiting chicken, tossing it gently. Drizzle with oil.
4 Lay the fingers out on the pan without crowding, and broil, turning once, until the chicken is sticky all over and browned around the edges, 5 to 7 minutes.
5 Brush the chicken with more of the sticky glaze for serving, then drizzle with lemon juice.
Thighs Spread Wide
I must have you right now,” he says breathlessly, throwing me down and opening my thighs on the first surface he can find.
“On this?” I ask. “Isn’t this a baking sheet?”
“It’ll have to do.” He practically roasts me with his burning gaze as a low growl issues from his gut.
He looks down at me and slips his fingers between my thighs, spreading them wide. He begins a slow and sensual assault with his hands, scattering capers and lemon everywhere. Because I can’t close my legs, it’s intense, really intense. Oh fucking my…
roasted chicken thighs with mushrooms
SERVES 4 TO 6
1½ pounds boneless, skin-less chicken thighs, patted dry with paper towels
1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
¼ cup chopped fresh oregano
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 garlic cloves, minced
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
8 ounces cremini mushrooms, trimmed and quartered
⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 to 3 teaspoons capers
2 tablespoons white wine, chicken broth, or water
Chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley, for garnish
Lemon wedges, for serving
1 Season the chicken with the salt. In a large bowl, combine the oregano, lemon juice, garlic, and pepper. Add the chicken and mushrooms to the bowl and toss to coat. Drizzle in the oil and stir well. If you can bear waiting, let marinate for up to 4 hours in the fridge, or for 15 minutes at room temperature while the oven preheats.
2 Preheat the oven to 500°F.
3 Spread the chicken thighs open in the bottom of a 9 × 13-inch baking pan. Scatter the mushrooms and capers around and over the chicken. Add the wine, broth, or
“Is this one of her recipes?” I can’t hide an edge of bitterness in my voice.
“No, Miss Hen, it’s my own preparation. And I wish you’d stop obsessing about Julia. You’re flogging a dead horse. She’s my past. You are my future.”
His future! I let this information soak in. I feel my anger subside slightly and my bones grow warm.
My subconscious is squawking, You’ll get burned again . I hear her knock on her perch, but I ignore her. She’s still got the blues about Mrs. Child and she’s got a point, but we’ve got to move on. How can I resist those deft hands? That godlike mouth and tongue? If the brown sugar doesn’t sway me, the bourbon will. Why does it smell so good?
He palms my breast, his fingertips just brushing the sensitive tip. “You fit my hand perfectly, Miss Hen,” he murmurs. “Just like a young bird should.”
No, I won’t let anything come between me and my Shifty Blades. Wild foxes couldn’t drag me away.
chicken fingers with brown sugar and bourbon
SERVES 6
1½ pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, patted dry with paper towels
1 teaspoon pure chile powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon bourbon
Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
Freshly squeezed lemon juice, for drizzling
1 Using a sharp knife, trim the breasts lengthwise into 1-inch-wide fingers.
2 In a medium bowl, combine the chile powder, cumin, salt, and pepper. Add the chicken fingers and mix well until thoroughly coated. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let marinate in the fridge for at least 1 hour, or longer if you want to make the chicken wait for it.
3 Preheat the broiler. Oil a large baking pan or a broiler pan. In a small saucepan, bring the brown sugar, honey, and bourbon to a boil, stirring. Pour half the mixture over the waiting chicken, tossing it gently. Drizzle with oil.
4 Lay the fingers out on the pan without crowding, and broil, turning once, until the chicken is sticky all over and browned around the edges, 5 to 7 minutes.
5 Brush the chicken with more of the sticky glaze for serving, then drizzle with lemon juice.
Thighs Spread Wide
I must have you right now,” he says breathlessly, throwing me down and opening my thighs on the first surface he can find.
“On this?” I ask. “Isn’t this a baking sheet?”
“It’ll have to do.” He practically roasts me with his burning gaze as a low growl issues from his gut.
He looks down at me and slips his fingers between my thighs, spreading them wide. He begins a slow and sensual assault with his hands, scattering capers and lemon everywhere. Because I can’t close my legs, it’s intense, really intense. Oh fucking my…
roasted chicken thighs with mushrooms
SERVES 4 TO 6
1½ pounds boneless, skin-less chicken thighs, patted dry with paper towels
1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
¼ cup chopped fresh oregano
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 garlic cloves, minced
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
8 ounces cremini mushrooms, trimmed and quartered
⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 to 3 teaspoons capers
2 tablespoons white wine, chicken broth, or water
Chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley, for garnish
Lemon wedges, for serving
1 Season the chicken with the salt. In a large bowl, combine the oregano, lemon juice, garlic, and pepper. Add the chicken and mushrooms to the bowl and toss to coat. Drizzle in the oil and stir well. If you can bear waiting, let marinate for up to 4 hours in the fridge, or for 15 minutes at room temperature while the oven preheats.
2 Preheat the oven to 500°F.
3 Spread the chicken thighs open in the bottom of a 9 × 13-inch baking pan. Scatter the mushrooms and capers around and over the chicken. Add the wine, broth, or
Similar Books
