Read Online Drama Is Her Middle Name by Wendy Williams - Free Book Online Page A

These were the people who
just wanted to be on the air and really had nothing to say.
They were just plain crazy. That kind of crazy didn’t make for
good radio. It was tedious.
    But Ritz loved the whack jobs. She even got a collect call
once from a maximum security prison. Jamie wasn’t sure
whether to let it through, but her instincts never let her down.
    â€œRitz, we have a confessed pedophile on line three, calling
collect,” Jamie said, hoping not to get yelled at. “Maybe you
should take him next!”
    â€œExcellent!” Ritz said.
    â€œHey, this is Ritz, who’s this?”
    â€œThis is Gene. I’m calling from Dannemora,” he said.
    â€œThat’s a prison!”
    â€œYeah. I hear you talking about Michael Jackson and what
you would like to do with pedophiles, and I’m here to tell
you, none of that shit you’re talking will work.”
    Aaron was ready on the bleep button.
    â€œWhen I raped my daughter, I knew inside it was wrong
but I couldn’t help myself. I can’t explain it. It’s like another
thing came over me and I was watching myself doing it,
telling myself not to, but I wouldn’t listen.”
    â€œYou raped your daughter?” Ritz asked, trying not to let too
much disgust show in her voice. She hated this man whom
she had never met, but she wanted him to stay on the line.
She didn’t want to lose him—not until she milked him for
his story.
    â€œYeah, and I kept doing it,” he said.
    â€œDid she tell on you?”
    â€œNah, not at all. She thought it was her fault. I was good
at convincing her of that.”
    â€œSo how did you end up in jail?”
    â€œI raped my girlfriend after the bitch pissed me off. She
went to the cops, the bitch!”
    â€œHow long are you in for?” Ritz asked.
    â€œOh, since this is the second time I got caught, I got
twenty-five years. They have me in some treatment, group-therapy thing where I have to talk about my issues with other
rapists and pedophiles.”
    â€œSo how do the other inmates treat you?”
    â€œOh, I’m not fucking with them and they don’t fuck with
me,” he said. “I know they say that people like me get raped
in prison—but it ain’t happened yet. And I don’t see it happening.”
    â€œThat’s a shame,” Ritz slipped out. “So you say my solution—castration—won’t work?”
    â€œNah.”
    â€œBut wouldn’t that be getting rid of the weapon?”
    â€œNah, Ritz. The weapon ain’t between my legs. The weapon
is between my ears. You have to change the way a man thinks.
Even if he don’t have a dick, he will find another way to rape
if his mind ain’t right.”
    â€œIs your mind right?”
    â€œNot yet. I belong in jail. I ain’t ready to get out. I would
rape again, I believe.”
    â€œWow, that’s real honest of you.”
    â€œWell, you say you like to keep it real. That’s as real as it
gets.”
    â€œIt sure is! You’re listening to the
Ritz Harper Excursion,
better than any trip you’ll take, y’all. And we’ll be back after
these messages!”
    The red “On Air” sign went out as Aaron played bumper
music leading into the commercial set.
    â€œWhat the fuck?!” Ritz said. “I’m still shaking.”
    â€œYo, dude was mad icy,” Aaron chimed in.
    â€œI’m entering that segment for the Air Awards,” Chas said,
always thinking about the show and the product. “That was
some gripping shit.”
    â€œWhere’s the Moët?” Ritz said. “After that, I need something a little stronger than soda. Besides, isn’t my girl coming
any minute?”
    The studio was abuzz over the arrival of Mariah Carey—
who might be the only guest who could top the pedophile.
She was one of Ritz’s favorite people to interview because she