Read Online Drama Is Her Middle Name by Wendy Williams - Free Book Online Page B

was one of the few “in the business” Ritz actually liked and
respected.
    Advice was just one of the features that had catapulted the
Ritz Harper Excursion
to the number-one spot. In less than
a month, Ritz was syndicated to four cities—Philadelphia,
Hartford, Washington, DC, and the flagship in New York.
There was talk of adding ten more within the year. Other
cities wanted their Ritz fix, too, but Ruff didn’t want to move
too fast.
    People loved the advice, but the real reason they tuned in
was for the celebrity interviews. Ritz had found a formula
that was part Oprah Winfrey, part Jerry Springer. She got all
of the high-profile artists, entertainers, and authors on her
show, but there was always, always a twist—which her audience counted on. Ritz had millions of listeners, and they were
all part of a special insiders’ club.
    Ritz had developed a secret language with her audience.
When a guest was on and Ritz wanted to say something about
the person without the guest knowing, she had sound effects
to let the audience know what she wanted them to know.
    She interviewed legendary rapper Biz Markie. He was an
idol in many circles and was there to promote his new reality
show. Every time Biz opened his mouth, Ritz gave him the
business—one look at Aaron, and the sound of a dentist’s
drill would go off under whatever Biz was saying. Not once
did Ritz mention that Biz Markie’s mouth looked like he had
been chewing metal bubblegum. She never had to say that he
looked like he had gingivitis and periodontal disease. The
dentist’s drill said it all.
    If someone was pretending to have a lot of money and was,
in reality, broke, Ritz would have Aaron play the sound effect
of a cash register being hurled out of a window. Cairo, from
the R&B group Cotton Club, who made a solo splash in the
1990s with the biggest one-hit wonders of the decade, rolled
through, and Ritz let him have it.
    â€œI saw you on
MTV Cribs
,” Ritz started. “What a gorgeous
home!”
    â€œYeah, Cairo said. “I don’t get to spend much time in it.”
    â€œTrue that.” Ritz took off the gloves. “Word has it that day
was the only time you spent in it, because that ain’t your
house! Now tell the truth. Your label rented it for the day.
You’re still living with your mama, aren’t you?”
    (Sound effect of the cash registering being tossed out of
the window:
Cha-ching, Crash!
)
    Cairo sat there speechless, glaring at Ritz. He wasn’t prepared for that uppercut to his diminutive chin.
    â€œSilence says it all,” Ritz said. “Let’s go to a break.”
    As they went to a break, Aaron played Cairo’s hit song.
Cairo stormed out of the studio, not saying a word. When
Ritz came back, she explained his absence but also the method
to her madness.
    â€œI know some of y’all think I’m cruel,” she started. “But
what’s cruel is lying. There are so many young people out there
who think that all they need to do is become a rapper or a
singer or something and they’re set for life. The truth is, very
few of these people really have money. The rest are projecting
this image and don’t have the money to keep up their lifestyle.
You remember TOTAL—hit records galore, but still living in
the projects. Now that’s cruel. People need to keep it real!
    â€œI mean, look at Fantasia. How in the world is she going to
come out with a book—one that we are to believe she wrote
without any help because hers is the only name anywhere on
it—and she can’t read.”
    Aaron couldn’t help but chime in on this one. “Think of
all of the things she missed out on—like seeing
Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
That was a good movie, she never got
to see because it has subtitles.”
    â€œThat’s a good one!” Ritz said, laughing heartily. “I wonder
if