Read Online Bream Gives Me Hiccups by Jesse Eisenberg - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jesse Eisenberg
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be on time. I think it was a great idea that we got these season tickets. Give me a kiss. Love you, sweetheart.
AN EMAIL EXCHANGE WITH MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND, WHICH AT A CERTAIN POINT IS TAKEN OVER BY MY OLDER SISTER, A COLLEGE STUDENT STUDYING THE BOSNIAN GENOCIDE
ME: hey amy . . . just got home from food shopping with my mother. She takes FOREVER in every aisle . . . Thought I was going to die . . . This is why I hate summer.
AMY: lol. I never go shopping with my mom anymore for that exact reason. Guess you are learning . . .
ME: How was day ânumero unoâ of ballet camp?
AMY: day numero uno was âbien,â thank you for asking. I missed you tho. I keep thinking how nice it would be if you were up here and dancing with me the whole time!
ME: I wish I was there too . . . Cant wait till you get back to NJ . . . But I bet you look hot in your little outfit thing, whatâs it called again?
AMY: You mean a TUTU?? I do look hot!
ME: Thatâs so cool. but you always look hot . . .
AMY: ;-)
ME: literally just mowed the whole lawn . . . And not just the back, but the front, you know where we have all those stupid trees my mom likes? I had to do like figure eights around them because my mom likes the pattern it makes with the lawn mower. SO frigginâ boring! Iâm so tired . . .
AMY: hey you. ballet was awesome today. their making me the lead in the âend of the summerâ recital! which just means I have to learn a lot of complicated solo parts, actually not totally fun but a kind of nice thing, I guess, right??
ME: thats so cool!!! your gonna look so pretty in the show. I canât wait to see it . . . But obviously I will wait, because itâs not until the END of the summer. Which is I guess why they call it an END OF THE SUMMER show, right??
AMY: LOL! You are so funny.
ME: You are so pretty . . .
AMY: Well than I guess we make a Pretty Funny couple.
ME: LOL.
AMY: I really like you.
ME: I really like too . . .
ME: I mean I really like YOU too!
ME: Whoops . . .
AMY: what you doinâ today?
ME: nothing . . . I kind of slept in which was weird because I normally canât do that . . . So I woke up at like 2:30 andwas like âwhoaâ because I thought it was probably still morning . . . You?
AMY: we had our first rehearsal with costumes. mine looks SO nice, itâs got these red sequins all over the back but it still moves really well. Iâm supposed to be like a kind of bird, but a bird who does ballet (who knew?) and we met the costume guy whoâs this Brazilian guy I think. Heâs like the most beautiful man on the planet. He used to be a dancer. Donât get jealous. probably gay, everyone thinks so. And I have to wear this really short skirt and I told paolo (costume guy) that you can totally see my butt and he looked at me all serious and said with his awesome accent âyou must be proud of your beautiful posterior.â Wish he wasnât gay! Just kidding! Miss ya! Going out with Paolo and some of the gang to TGI Fridays for Sundays. (On Saturday. Weird. Almost covering all the days in one trip!)
ME: That dress sounds insane! Make sure you show off your âbeautiful posteriorâ when Iâm at the show! I had a really exciting day (he said sarcastically . . .) I helped my father at his office for like ten minutes and then was like going totally crazy, so I snuck out while he was with a patient. Anyway, back home now. Will probably watch a dumb movie or something . . . Canât wait for school to start! (and canât believe I actually just said that)
AMY: Just got home from dinner. On a sugar high. Will probably not sleep all night!
ME: howâs it going? another boring day here . . . I wish I couldhibernate like a bear does and just sleep through the whole summer and just wake up for when I get to SEE YOU AGAIN! I
AN EMAIL EXCHANGE WITH MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND, WHICH AT A CERTAIN POINT IS TAKEN OVER BY MY OLDER SISTER, A COLLEGE STUDENT STUDYING THE BOSNIAN GENOCIDE
ME: hey amy . . . just got home from food shopping with my mother. She takes FOREVER in every aisle . . . Thought I was going to die . . . This is why I hate summer.
AMY: lol. I never go shopping with my mom anymore for that exact reason. Guess you are learning . . .
ME: How was day ânumero unoâ of ballet camp?
AMY: day numero uno was âbien,â thank you for asking. I missed you tho. I keep thinking how nice it would be if you were up here and dancing with me the whole time!
ME: I wish I was there too . . . Cant wait till you get back to NJ . . . But I bet you look hot in your little outfit thing, whatâs it called again?
AMY: You mean a TUTU?? I do look hot!
ME: Thatâs so cool. but you always look hot . . .
AMY: ;-)
ME: literally just mowed the whole lawn . . . And not just the back, but the front, you know where we have all those stupid trees my mom likes? I had to do like figure eights around them because my mom likes the pattern it makes with the lawn mower. SO frigginâ boring! Iâm so tired . . .
AMY: hey you. ballet was awesome today. their making me the lead in the âend of the summerâ recital! which just means I have to learn a lot of complicated solo parts, actually not totally fun but a kind of nice thing, I guess, right??
ME: thats so cool!!! your gonna look so pretty in the show. I canât wait to see it . . . But obviously I will wait, because itâs not until the END of the summer. Which is I guess why they call it an END OF THE SUMMER show, right??
AMY: LOL! You are so funny.
ME: You are so pretty . . .
AMY: Well than I guess we make a Pretty Funny couple.
ME: LOL.
AMY: I really like you.
ME: I really like too . . .
ME: I mean I really like YOU too!
ME: Whoops . . .
AMY: what you doinâ today?
ME: nothing . . . I kind of slept in which was weird because I normally canât do that . . . So I woke up at like 2:30 andwas like âwhoaâ because I thought it was probably still morning . . . You?
AMY: we had our first rehearsal with costumes. mine looks SO nice, itâs got these red sequins all over the back but it still moves really well. Iâm supposed to be like a kind of bird, but a bird who does ballet (who knew?) and we met the costume guy whoâs this Brazilian guy I think. Heâs like the most beautiful man on the planet. He used to be a dancer. Donât get jealous. probably gay, everyone thinks so. And I have to wear this really short skirt and I told paolo (costume guy) that you can totally see my butt and he looked at me all serious and said with his awesome accent âyou must be proud of your beautiful posterior.â Wish he wasnât gay! Just kidding! Miss ya! Going out with Paolo and some of the gang to TGI Fridays for Sundays. (On Saturday. Weird. Almost covering all the days in one trip!)
ME: That dress sounds insane! Make sure you show off your âbeautiful posteriorâ when Iâm at the show! I had a really exciting day (he said sarcastically . . .) I helped my father at his office for like ten minutes and then was like going totally crazy, so I snuck out while he was with a patient. Anyway, back home now. Will probably watch a dumb movie or something . . . Canât wait for school to start! (and canât believe I actually just said that)
AMY: Just got home from dinner. On a sugar high. Will probably not sleep all night!
ME: howâs it going? another boring day here . . . I wish I couldhibernate like a bear does and just sleep through the whole summer and just wake up for when I get to SEE YOU AGAIN! I
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