Read Online An Intimate Life by Cheryl T. Cohen-Greene - Free Book Online
Authors: Cheryl T. Cohen-Greene
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are you ready to get up?”
“Yes,” he said in a sleepy voice.
I got out of bed and asked him for a hug. As we let go, I thanked him for the experience. Then we got dressed and walked up the corridor and back to the consultation room. I reminded him to practice the Kegel exercises he had learned and we made an appointment to see each other again two weeks later.
By the time we finished our third session, Brian had made steady progress. He was now regularly practicing Kegels and the breathing and relaxation exercises I had taught him. His fear and guilt around masturbation had diminished and the length of time he could maintain an erection jumped to five or six minutes, almost twice what it had been. He reported that he was able to melt into his fantasies a little more and that he noticed subtle changes in how he thought. For example, he still might find himself saying “stop” when he started to become aroused, but he no longer felt that he had to act on that command. Practicing the relaxation techniques helped him to recognize and relieve the anxiety that short-circuited his erections. This was a lot to accomplish in three sessions, but it was in our fourth when Brian really turned a corner. That’s when we did the Sexological.
Brian arrived at our fourth session with a smile on his face. He had made more progress than he had thought possible. He had even considered asking a woman out on a date. After we talked for a little while, I ushered Brian into the bedroom.
“The Sexological is an exercise that focuses on the genitals,” I explained. “We’ll explore each other in depth and give feedback as we go along. There are two ways that this exercise can be helpful. First, it gives you an opportunity to really discover where in your genital area you’re most sensitive and receptive. Second, it helps to take communication to a more intimate level. You’ll tell me how you feel all throughout the exercise and then when it’s my turn I’ll do the same. The goal is to eventually be able to have this kind of conversation with a partner.”
Brian tensed up a bit.
“The Sexological is deliberately clinical. The only thing we’re trying to do here is pay close and careful attention to how we feel. I’ll ask you about this as we go along. There are no right or wrong feelings. It’s just thoughtful, slow exploration. Try to stay in the moment and in your body. Use your senses. Really take in what you’re seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, and feeling. Many people don’t get erections during the Sexological. Some do. Either is natural.”
I turned on the lamp on the nightstand. Then I went to the closet and pulled out six pillows, four to prop against the headboard, which Brian would lean back on, and two for me to support myself in the middle of the bed. I pulled out a hand mirror, tissues, and lubricant from the nightstand.
I took off my trousers and button-down shirt and then I swept my hair back into a barrette so it wouldn’t get in the way. Brian got undressed and I took him by the hand and led him to the bed. I asked him to sit up against the pillows at the headboard and keep his knees bent. I adjusted the pillows to give my lower back support while sitting in the middle of the bed between his legs. I stretched my legs into a wide V and then asked Brian to do the same, and to put his legs over mine. When he did this our legs made a diamond shape.
Brian’s legs were bulky with muscle and the hair on them slightly tickled my knees. He had broad shoulders and short fingers and a long scar down his forearm. His abdomen was divided by a line of hair that thinned out and disappeared before reaching his chest. I took his hands in mine. “Deep breaths,” I said. Together we inhaled and exhaled a few times until I flexed my fingers and we uncoupled our hands.
Brian’s penis was of average length. His pubic mound was covered with a wide triangle of blonde hair. His large scrotum spilled out beneath it.
“Yes,” he said in a sleepy voice.
I got out of bed and asked him for a hug. As we let go, I thanked him for the experience. Then we got dressed and walked up the corridor and back to the consultation room. I reminded him to practice the Kegel exercises he had learned and we made an appointment to see each other again two weeks later.
By the time we finished our third session, Brian had made steady progress. He was now regularly practicing Kegels and the breathing and relaxation exercises I had taught him. His fear and guilt around masturbation had diminished and the length of time he could maintain an erection jumped to five or six minutes, almost twice what it had been. He reported that he was able to melt into his fantasies a little more and that he noticed subtle changes in how he thought. For example, he still might find himself saying “stop” when he started to become aroused, but he no longer felt that he had to act on that command. Practicing the relaxation techniques helped him to recognize and relieve the anxiety that short-circuited his erections. This was a lot to accomplish in three sessions, but it was in our fourth when Brian really turned a corner. That’s when we did the Sexological.
Brian arrived at our fourth session with a smile on his face. He had made more progress than he had thought possible. He had even considered asking a woman out on a date. After we talked for a little while, I ushered Brian into the bedroom.
“The Sexological is an exercise that focuses on the genitals,” I explained. “We’ll explore each other in depth and give feedback as we go along. There are two ways that this exercise can be helpful. First, it gives you an opportunity to really discover where in your genital area you’re most sensitive and receptive. Second, it helps to take communication to a more intimate level. You’ll tell me how you feel all throughout the exercise and then when it’s my turn I’ll do the same. The goal is to eventually be able to have this kind of conversation with a partner.”
Brian tensed up a bit.
“The Sexological is deliberately clinical. The only thing we’re trying to do here is pay close and careful attention to how we feel. I’ll ask you about this as we go along. There are no right or wrong feelings. It’s just thoughtful, slow exploration. Try to stay in the moment and in your body. Use your senses. Really take in what you’re seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, and feeling. Many people don’t get erections during the Sexological. Some do. Either is natural.”
I turned on the lamp on the nightstand. Then I went to the closet and pulled out six pillows, four to prop against the headboard, which Brian would lean back on, and two for me to support myself in the middle of the bed. I pulled out a hand mirror, tissues, and lubricant from the nightstand.
I took off my trousers and button-down shirt and then I swept my hair back into a barrette so it wouldn’t get in the way. Brian got undressed and I took him by the hand and led him to the bed. I asked him to sit up against the pillows at the headboard and keep his knees bent. I adjusted the pillows to give my lower back support while sitting in the middle of the bed between his legs. I stretched my legs into a wide V and then asked Brian to do the same, and to put his legs over mine. When he did this our legs made a diamond shape.
Brian’s legs were bulky with muscle and the hair on them slightly tickled my knees. He had broad shoulders and short fingers and a long scar down his forearm. His abdomen was divided by a line of hair that thinned out and disappeared before reaching his chest. I took his hands in mine. “Deep breaths,” I said. Together we inhaled and exhaled a few times until I flexed my fingers and we uncoupled our hands.
Brian’s penis was of average length. His pubic mound was covered with a wide triangle of blonde hair. His large scrotum spilled out beneath it.
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