Read Online A Comedy of Heirs by Rett MacPherson - Free Book Online

his mother. “My dad never liked him too much.”
    â€œReally?” I asked. “Why is that?” I was surprised by this. People never went around praising Nathaniel Keith, but I can’t say that I actually heard anybody put him down either.
    Damon shrugged his shoulders. “Can’t think of anything specific,” he said. “Just that he was a drunk and that he liked to chase women.”
    â€œWell, that’s pretty specific if you ask me,” I said. His words didn’t really mean too much to me, because getting drunk and being a womanizer seems to be the thing that people of days gone by tacked on to anybody that they didn’t like.
    â€œI don’t know,” he said and shrugged again. “Why do you ask?” He turned around backward on his skates and skated in front of me, facing me.
    â€œI’m working on a scrapbook type of thing and wanted little anecdotes or personality traits to put with each ancestor,” I said.
    â€œOh,” he said. “Then you don’t want the bad stuff.” He looked around his shoulder to see if he was going to run into anybody else on the ice. I was having difficulty in keeping up with him. He was a flawless skater and I was having to work at every stroke.
    â€œIf that’s what he was, then that’s what I’ll put in the scrapbook,” I said. I was lying, of course, about the scrapbook. I seemed to do that a lot lately.
    â€œLet me see if I can think of anything that I’ve heard that was good,” he said. “You should really ask Uncle Jed or Aunt Ruth, even Uncle Isaac. They were adults when he died. All I can give you is secondhand stuff.”
    â€œI’m going to,” I said.
    â€œUm,” he said and stroked his chin, deep in thought. “I think I heard my mother say something one time about him being in a swimming accident…”
    â€œHunting accident,” I corrected.
    â€œNo, swimming. He was a young man and saved some boy’s life—from drowning or something like that,” he said.
    â€œOh,” I answered. I hadn’t heard that one. “Do you know how he died?”
    â€œNo,” he said. “How did he die? Wouldn’t you, Miss Genealogist, already know that?”
    â€œOh, I know,” I said. “I just thought I’d see what you knew about it.”
    â€œI don’t know anything,” he said. “How did he die?”
    â€œHunting accident,” I said. My nose was numb from the cold and my lips moved slower than normal. Which I’m sure was a relief to Damon. I outtalk most anybody. There was a shirt at the mall I was thinking about buying for myself. It said HELP, I’VE STARTED TALKING AND I CAN’T SHUT UP . Anybody who knows me in the least knows that is perfect for me.
    The Doublemint twins skated by, each one holding on to the other one for dear life. That made me feel better. They were Wendy’s kids and not perfect at something. Damon winked at me and went off to chase the twins. Their squeals could be heard all the way into town, I’m sure.
    Rudy skated over to me and grabbed my hand. “How are you doing?” he asked.
    â€œOh, fine,” I said. I really needed to tell him about that blue stick at the doctor’s office. He smiled at me and gave me his cutesy look. The one that declared that he was lovable and that I couldn’t resist him in the least. He wore a brown leather coat and one of those toboggan hats that had a ball of fringe at the very end of the yard of material. His hat literally came down to his butt. It looked like one of those long turn-of-the-century sleeping hats. He was just too cute for words.
    â€œHey,” he said. “How’d your doctor’s appointment go? Do you have mono?”
    â€œNo, I don’t have mono,” I said in a vague tone of voice.
    â€œOh that’s good,” he said. Suddenly a serious look crossed his face. I