Read Online A Comedy of Heirs by Rett MacPherson - Free Book Online Page B

yelled.
    â€œOr you would have just badgered me until I told you anyway. I wasn’t planning on telling you on the ice. You asked me.”
    â€œAsked what?” Sheriff Brooke asked.
    Rudy and I simultaneously said, “Nothing!”
    â€œFine,” the sheriff said and held up his hands. “Rudy, you need to get over to the hospital.”
    â€œI don’t think it’s broken,” he said.
    â€œHow would you know?” I asked. “Did it make a crunch sound?”
    â€œOf course it made a crunch sound. I landed on my nose on the ice.”
    The sheriff and I looked at each other. “It’s broken,” I said.
    â€œLook,” Rudy said and held his hat out. “It’s already stopped bleeding.” Blood had run all the way down to his chin and when he tried to smile at me, I could see the blood gathered in between his teeth. It made me a little queasy.
    â€œYeah, but that doesn’t mean it ain’t broke,” the sheriff said.
    â€œDaddy, Daddy,” the girls yelled. Rachel immediately stopped short when she saw all the blood and scrunched her nose up, distorting her face. “Ooooh that is just so gross, Dad,” she declared.
    â€œThanks, Rachel,” he said.
    Mary, of course, went right up to him. “Neato,” she said. “You’re going to have to wash your hat now.”
    â€œWhat happened?” Rachel asked, her face still distorted in disgust.
    â€œYour dad fell on the ice, I think he broke his nose,” I said.
    Rachel gave a little giggle, then Mary began laughing out loud. Rudy’s irritation at their obvious insensitivity to his situation was evident on his face. It didn’t seem to bother the girls, though. They continued to laugh.
    â€œSheriff,” I said. “Would you make sure that my kids get home okay with my mother? I’m going to take Rudy to the hospital for an X ray.”
    â€œSure thing,” he said. “Not a problem. Be careful, though. I think the snow is coming down a little harder.”
    Why was he being so nice to me? Normally he’d be wishing that I would hit a patch of ice.
    â€œOkay,” I said. “Come on, Rudy. Let’s get you to the hospital.”
    He stood up and looked down at me. “Are you really … you know?”
    â€œThe blue stick says I am.”
    â€œWow,” he said. He followed behind me like a little lost puppy in total silence as we walked to the car. About an inch and a half of snow now covered the grass and it crunched beneath our feet. It was the only noise I heard, except the distant skaters and the occasional moan that Rudy would make.
    I unlocked the door for him and went around to my side of the car. He spoke to me over the hood. “Really. You’re really pregnant.”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œCool,” he said, his attitude changing abruptly. “I’ll get my boy after all. I will no longer be outnumbered! I’ll have somebody that will help me fight for the bathroom!” Evidently his head started throbbing or some kind of pain in his nose seized him because he winced, shut up and went back to moaning.
    If he hadn’t just busted his nose himself, I would have busted it for him.

Nine
    â€œAunt Sissy!” I cried. My favorite aunt in the whole wide world came walking up my front drive with her specialty perched in her very capable hands: red velvet cake. If it weren’t for the fact that I might damage the red velvet cake, I would have jumped into her arms just like I did when I was a kid. I was so excited to see her, I stood there on my front porch giddy as a schoolgirl.
    â€œI can’t believe you’re really here,” I said as she stepped up on the front porch. Aunt Sissy lived in Minnesota and rarely drove in for these functions. The reason she is called Sissy is because my dad couldn’t say Felicity, it came out Sissity. So they just called her Sissy.
    â€œI’m here,