Read Online A Break Up Survival Guide by Nancy Wylde - Free Book Online
Authors: Nancy Wylde
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Preface
It takes two people to make a relationship and only ONE to end it. It’s often assumed that the one who chooses to end a relationship not working for him or her doesn’t go through all the motions, feelings and experiences as the one who has been dumped.
Whether or not you choose to walk away or someone said goodbye to you, it is a painful experience, and the feeling that the rug has been pulled out from under your feet or that you’ve just been pushed off the precipice still remains.
These intense and powerful emotions that we deal with in these first few days, weeks and months can sometimes be so consuming that we become oblivious to everyone and everything else around us.
Though a grieving process is natural, it is important to maintain our balance, as spiralling downwards can have serious consequences. My first break up was after a 17 year marriage, one that I chose to end. For me, it was perhaps the most difficult decision to make, but it was a decision based on what was best for both of us.
I could see our future; the writing was on the wall. I would have ended up hating him with a passion and we would have ended up two strangers under the same roof with no love for one another, only contempt and disdain. No one should live like that. We are all children of God.
We are all worthy and deserving of happiness, joy, laughter, love and the wonderful experiences that go with sharing a life with someone that we love and respect. Having had no experience in how to deal with my break up, having no resources or knowledge nor access to assistance and guidance through such an ordeal, I resorted to medication and alcohol, sometimes at the same time, to subdue and ease my agony. And agonizing, it was.
At the time of the break-up, I had three very small children whose lives were dramatically affected and an ex-husband for whom I did not hold any hatred or contempt for, but rather enough compassion to let him go because I had no choice but to be true to myself. For if I could not be true to myself, I could hardly dispense advice and counsel to anyone else.
This title is the result of some of the things we either fail to do or need to remember to do after a break-up, when we are picking ourselves up off the floor, so to speak. It isn’t rocket science and I certainly will not be able to tell you how to take the pain away, because no one can offer that.
Nevertheless, often we as women find ourselves with more challenges than men because many times we remain with children to care for while we are in that painful and sometimes desperate state, both emotionally and mentally. Some also have no work, no career, none or limited income and no family, resulting in utter helplessness and desolation.
So it is my sincerest hope and aim to offer you tips, reminders and a little advice on what you can do to help yourself get through this difficult time, how to cultivate some self-love, become more present, more in the moment, move joyfully forward toward a new you, a better you and achieve a new life that you CAN create over time with a little dedication and the willingness to work on yourself.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Only this I can promise you.
IT’S OVER – The End Of Your World?
The first thing that happens when we are dealing with what seems to be the end of our world or our life is that our health suffers. We stop eating well or we eat sporadically and it’s usually nothing substantial.
Most times it is just barely enough to keep us going, such as coffee to keep us awake and keep us moving and junk food just for the sake of putting something in our mouths. Mostly, this is a result of friends and family saying, “You have to eat,” though in reality, we want nothing more than to stop eating, stop drinking and just roll over and die because it seems that a death has just occurred, and in a sense it has.
The death is our old
It takes two people to make a relationship and only ONE to end it. It’s often assumed that the one who chooses to end a relationship not working for him or her doesn’t go through all the motions, feelings and experiences as the one who has been dumped.
Whether or not you choose to walk away or someone said goodbye to you, it is a painful experience, and the feeling that the rug has been pulled out from under your feet or that you’ve just been pushed off the precipice still remains.
These intense and powerful emotions that we deal with in these first few days, weeks and months can sometimes be so consuming that we become oblivious to everyone and everything else around us.
Though a grieving process is natural, it is important to maintain our balance, as spiralling downwards can have serious consequences. My first break up was after a 17 year marriage, one that I chose to end. For me, it was perhaps the most difficult decision to make, but it was a decision based on what was best for both of us.
I could see our future; the writing was on the wall. I would have ended up hating him with a passion and we would have ended up two strangers under the same roof with no love for one another, only contempt and disdain. No one should live like that. We are all children of God.
We are all worthy and deserving of happiness, joy, laughter, love and the wonderful experiences that go with sharing a life with someone that we love and respect. Having had no experience in how to deal with my break up, having no resources or knowledge nor access to assistance and guidance through such an ordeal, I resorted to medication and alcohol, sometimes at the same time, to subdue and ease my agony. And agonizing, it was.
At the time of the break-up, I had three very small children whose lives were dramatically affected and an ex-husband for whom I did not hold any hatred or contempt for, but rather enough compassion to let him go because I had no choice but to be true to myself. For if I could not be true to myself, I could hardly dispense advice and counsel to anyone else.
This title is the result of some of the things we either fail to do or need to remember to do after a break-up, when we are picking ourselves up off the floor, so to speak. It isn’t rocket science and I certainly will not be able to tell you how to take the pain away, because no one can offer that.
Nevertheless, often we as women find ourselves with more challenges than men because many times we remain with children to care for while we are in that painful and sometimes desperate state, both emotionally and mentally. Some also have no work, no career, none or limited income and no family, resulting in utter helplessness and desolation.
So it is my sincerest hope and aim to offer you tips, reminders and a little advice on what you can do to help yourself get through this difficult time, how to cultivate some self-love, become more present, more in the moment, move joyfully forward toward a new you, a better you and achieve a new life that you CAN create over time with a little dedication and the willingness to work on yourself.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Only this I can promise you.
IT’S OVER – The End Of Your World?
The first thing that happens when we are dealing with what seems to be the end of our world or our life is that our health suffers. We stop eating well or we eat sporadically and it’s usually nothing substantial.
Most times it is just barely enough to keep us going, such as coffee to keep us awake and keep us moving and junk food just for the sake of putting something in our mouths. Mostly, this is a result of friends and family saying, “You have to eat,” though in reality, we want nothing more than to stop eating, stop drinking and just roll over and die because it seems that a death has just occurred, and in a sense it has.
The death is our old
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