everything.
So the only way I felt I could cope was through medication at first. This is not to say that medication does not have its place. I am of the belief that if one requires prescribed medication, then one should go with it. But for me, I did not do well with medication. Without a doubt, the alcohol was destructive. I did not have an addiction problem, as it was easy to toss away when I noticed it was the first thing I reached for when things were getting too hard for me. Turning to medication or alcohol or any other form of substance to alleviate emotional pain is NOT productive. I learned the hard way, but I learned, so for that I am grateful.
Tip A: Don’t use medication or alcohol as a way to get through the pain and trauma of separation. It only serves to make you feel less and less in control of your life. The way to healing is not in looking to sources outside of you for relief. And I know only too well of the need for relief of that kind of agonizing pain. You’ve been dumped or you had to end it. The grief can send people insane, but the solution is to get to a place on your own that makes you feel better.
During this time you may not feel like eating. In fact, you won’t want to eat. Your appetite will dwindle considerably or eating will just make you sick. Avoid eating junk food, though you may not feel like cooking for yourself. I used to hate eating alone, so I wouldn’t bother eating, but that was not sensible. The last thing you need is your health to fail you.
No one likes to eat alone and you probably have a better chance of eating if you have company, so either invite a girlfriend or family to eat with or go to their home.
After having had some experience with breakups, I learned that the only way up was eating to maintain my health. I knew if I had my health, everything else would surely follow in time. And it did.
By the time I got around to my third breakup, I was a real pro! I was lucky enough to live next door to my family, and I’d make sure I would eat with one of my sisters or my parents. Though I didn’t eat much, I would ensure I was eating properly and eat in company. It makes a difference. Pay attention and you’ll notice it yourself.
Likewise be careful about over-eating as a way of alleviating stress and anxiety. This can result in unwanted weight gain.
Tip B: Ensure you eat well; even if you are not hungry, there are ways you can improve that and it’s so easy.
Don’t eat junk. Avoid that trap we so often fall into of grabbing a box of chocolates (also known as, ‘a girl’s best comfort food’), and eating the whole box to make yourself feel better. For goodness sake, you have to eat well. It’s no effort to eat fresh fruit, vegetables and salads with some protein.
Keep up with your carbohydrates, the healthy kind that comes from our vegetables like broccoli, carrots etc… and not from packets of high sugar cereals, pizza, pasta and potatoes. Yeah…I love them too, but as I often say to others, “I eat what is good for me, not what I like and that is the secret to my health and my lean body.” You honestly don’t need a tutorial on eating healthy.
There is so much information out there now, so readily available to us about how to eat well. And if you’ve missed it, then you can find plenty of free or dirt cheap suggestions on good eating in the Resources chapter at the end of this book.
Tip C: Don’t diet or exercise at a time like this! You don’t need it. Walk a lot, or if you are like me and love gardening, then go out into the garden as get in touch with mother earth, which is one of the best things you can do for yourself at a time like this.
If you have a dog, you are even luckier. Take your dog for long walks. Don’t run; pace yourself. You are not working towards the Marathon Quest, just trying to raise your energy
Noelle Adams
Peter Straub
Richard Woodman
Margaret Millmore
Toni Aleo
Emily Listfield
Angela White
Aoife Marie Sheridan
Storm Large
N.R. Walker