Read Online A Beautiful Struggle by Emily McKee - Free Book Online

definitely. I’m starving,” Derrick said with a smile.
    “Al l right, well, I’ll see you two downstairs then.” Turning to look back at me, Grandma mouthed, “He’s cuuute! Good job!” After I winked at her and smiled, Gram left.
    The second Gram left , Derrick said, “I really like her.”
    I lowered my voice . “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. I don’t want to put any pressure on you.” I really did want him to go. We had this instant connection but I didn’t want to scare him off.
    “Hey , look at me.” Derrick stood close beside me. I looked up into his eyes. “Look, I like you, Patrick. I want to get to know you.” He gave me a big smile.
    I nodded. “Okay, let’s go.” Then I realized I was still wearing my clothes from last night. Looking down at my outfit, I looked back into Derrick’s beautiful brown eyes. “Give me like ten minutes and then we can eat.”
    He started to say okay, but his stomach had other things in mind because it started to growl.
    Laughing , I said, “Okay, let me just go brush my teeth and then we can go.”
    Derrick sat on my bed. “No promises. I’m starving!”
    Running into my bathroom , I brushed my teeth in two seconds flat. I started to leave the room, but I saw that I looked atrocious. I knew I needed to change, so I quickly grabbed some boxer briefs, a pair of jeans, and a red long-sleeved shirt. Changing, I walked back into the bedroom and asked, “Ready?”
    Derrick was rubbing his fingers together and looked shocked when I asked him. Sitting up straight he said, “Um, yeah.”
    “What’s the matter?”
    “Nothing.”
    I knew he was trying to just leave it but I wanted to know. Walking over, I sat down next to him and stayed silent. I knew he would talk when he was ready.
    It seemed like we sat there on my bed forever , but then Derrick said, “It’s just—I’ve never done this with another guy. I haven’t even really came out. I mean, a few friends know, but that’s about it.” He hesitated. “I really like you, Patrick, but I don’t want to bring you into something where I can’t even be honest with myself.” He gestured between us. “This is a struggle for me. I mean—this is who I am—but I don’t know how to tell my parents or any of that, really.”
    I took his hand in mine. “Look, Derrick, I like you, too. I want to get to know you.” Nodding my head towards my front door, I said, “Like you said, Derr. It’s just breakfast.” I paused briefly. “How about we just be friends for now? We get to know one another. No catch. Nothing. What do you say?”
    Giving me a small smile , Derrick nodded his head and whispered, “Okay.”
    “Ok ay.” I placed my hand out for him to take, but I realized we were just going to be friends. For now. So waving my hand I said, “Come on. You’ll love my gram’s cooking.”
    Letting out a sigh , Derrick said, “Well, okay. Here goes nothing.”

    ***

    Reaching for my glass of orange juice, I was just about to take a sip when Gram asked, “So tell me about yourself, Derrick.”
    “GRAM!” I yelled. I couldn’t believe she was doing this. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that old lady more than anything else in this world, but she really had no clue how to play it cool sometimes.
    Waving her hand , she said, “Oh hush, Pat.” She smiled at Derrick. “I’m just trying to get to know this sweet boy.”
    Stabbing his pancakes , Gramps said, “Oh, come on, Ev. Do you really need to interrogate poor Derrick here?”
    Grabbing my gramps by his jaws, Gram kissed him on the cheek. “I’m just trying to get to know Derrick, that’s all.” She smiled sweetly at him.
    Placing my elbows on the table , I let my head relax in my hands. For a few seconds I just stared at my grandparents. Even after fifty plus years together, they were still in love. Gram always used to tell me a bed time story at night and I loved hearing the story about her and Gramps.
    They were high school