Read Online A Beautiful Struggle by Emily McKee - Free Book Online Page A

sweethearts. During the summertime, Gram would paint outside on her front porch and Gramps delivered the mail to each house. He would just stare at her, and one time he rode his bike right into her mailbox. While he did end up with a broken arm, he also found the love of his life. He always said, “It was a small price to pay.”
    I couldn’t help but look over at Derrick. I saw he was staring at me with a small smile on his face. I wondered just what exactly was running through his mind. I wondered if they were the same things running through my mind, thinking that maybe he could be it for me. Thinking we could have what my gram and gramps have. I guess only time will tell.
    Hearing my gram giggle , I looked over and saw Gramps giving her a kiss on the cheek. Smiling once more at them, I grabbed my drink and took a healthy gulp. I was glad I was feeling a little bit better, so I attempted to take a few bites of Gram’s delicious pancakes.
    “So , Derrick, where did you grow up?” Gram asked.
    Grabbing for his napkin , Derrick finished the bite of pancake he was chewing. He took a sip of coffee. “Well, I grew up in Rhode Island. I actually got a football scholarship and decided to come here. I’ve played football for as long as I can remember.”
    Nodding her head , she asked, “And are you an only child or do you have siblings? What about your parents?”
    At that I saw Derrick stiffen. I knew that would be a difficult subject for him, but he plastered a smile on his face. “I’m an only child. I’m actually adopted.”
    I didn’t know that.
    “Ah, they must be so proud of you.”
    “Yeah , I think they are. I’ve done pretty well for myself so far.”
    “And how are they with you and everything?”
    I knew that was crossing the line so I said, “Gram.”
    Looking over at me , she asked, “What?” She turned back at Derrick. “Oh, I’m sorry for prying.”
    He shook his head. “No, it’s fine.”
    Biting her lower lip , Gram started to talk about something else. It was kind of just noise in the background, because while I listened to the conversation here and there for the rest of breakfast, I kept looking over at Derr. I knew he wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation, either. I could practically see his brain running a mile a minute. I just wondered what he was thinking about. I knew he was struggling internally with something. The only clear thought that came to me was, I want to be there for him. I want to be the person he can lean on through the ugly times.

    ***

    Closing the door behind me, I looked up at Derrick. “Do you want to hang out today?”
    Nodding his head , Derr smiled and said, “Yeah. Sure.”
    “Al l right, well, let’s go up to my apartment.”
    Walking up to my place, I felt some trepidation in my steps. I wanted Derrick to open up to me but I knew I’d have to tell him about my coming out process. I was fine with that. I unlocked the door and we walked inside. I was glad to get out of the cold, even though we were only in it for about two minutes, if that.
    Closing the door behind me , I asked, “Do you want a drink or anything?”
    Shaking his head , Derr said, “No, I’m good.” Pausing, he smiled. “Thanks.”
    “Yeah, sure .” I gave him a quick smile. Walking into the bathroom, I grabbed some aspirin. The effects of my drinking from last night were just now taking over and I could already tell it was going to be a bad one. I was surprised I hadn’t thrown up yet. Or maybe I had and I just didn’t remember. Grabbing a bottle of Gatorade from the fridge, I downed the pills and half the amount of the bottle.
    Sitting down on the couch next to Derrick , I was getting ready to ask him what he wanted to watch on TV when he said, “I haven’t told my family.”
    I stayed quiet. I could tell from the little bit that we ’ve known each other that this moment right here was a big step for him. So for as long as he would talk? I would listen.
    “I know