really canât be arsed with it.
Freddy is sleeping next to Nan but opens his eyes as I stand up to go. I walk quietly towards him, stroke his head and whisper goodbye. He licks my face, rolls back slightly and lifts his paw. Heâs waving goodbye to me, I know he is. I love Freddy coz he loves me just for being me.
As I step outside I take a deep breath. Itâs a warm day but still a bit crisp and the sky is a lovely blue instead of that horrible grey it can be sometimes. I start to walk, relieved this is going to be my last exam. I swear to god Iâm going to sit around in my onesie for a whole week when this exam has finished and Iâll do it eating ice cream and watching those ridiculous reality programmes as Mum calls them.
Sheâs already nagging me to get a job for the summer. As if. Like,
no
one has worked as hard as I have for the last year. I actually deserve a year off from everything. I still donât really know if I even want to go to Sixth Form in September. Think Iâd rather go to college and study music but Mum would flip.
Canât believe bloody Tabitha, what a cow, a boring, fun sucking cow; bet she couldnât wait to spill the spaghetti. Oh god, Mumâs bound to interrogate me when I get home. I donât even bloody like smoking. It was Pheebsâ brotherâs spliff and it was her who told me to have a drag. She said I needed to know how to do it properly ready for Chelseaâs party. She said it makes you look proper grown up and everyone will take the piss if I canât do it right. It tastes rank though. I mean proper disgusting. Give me a bar of chocolate any day. It didnât even do anything for me either coz I only took one bloody drag for god bloody sake and now Mum thinks I smoke weed!
Oh god, sheâd better not ground me. I like soooooo need to go to this party, more than life itself. If I donât go I could lose all my friends and itâs a well-known fact that not having any friends is as harmful as smoking. It was on UberFacts or something, so it
must
be true.
So, if Mum doesnât let me go sheâs making it as bad as me smoking anyway.
Sheâll have to take responsibility for making me ill if I have no friends. So sheâll have to let me go for health reasons.
I check my phone. Mum hasnât wished me luck for my exam yet?
I look up and feel the sun on my face. Itâs been nice to get some fresh air. I feel like Iâve got a clear head and Iâm ready for my exam. However, that feeling quickly fades as I turn a corner and the building thatâs been my prison for the last five years comes into sight. My tummy flips. The nerves are starting and I have butterflies threatening to flutter my memory away. Oh god, now my stomach is like making rumbling noises, but I feel too nervous to eat. I feel dead panicky. Iâm trying to remember what Mum said:
âTake a deep breath Cassie â then exhale â nice and slow.â
I hate to admit it but sheâs right, it does actually help, a bit.
I can see Pheebs up ahead. Sheâs waiting with Chelsea and some of the others and it looks like theyâre all passing a ciggie around. My stomach flips again coz I really donât want to join in. I just donât like it. But then if they donât offer me a drag, thatâll make me look crap anyway. Oh bloody hell. Pheebs has spotted me and sheâs waving. Chelsea turns to see who sheâs waving at and glares at me. She looks away again and says something to everyone then they all look towards me and laugh, including Pheebs.
I donât think Chelsea really likes me anymore and Iâm like, not quite sure why, coz I thought she did a couple of months ago. I miss not going round her house coz the truth is I like sooooo fancy her brother â not that Iâll ever be good enough for someone like him. Her Dad was nice too; he talked to me, quite a lot actually.
Once, when Chelsea nipped
Freddy is sleeping next to Nan but opens his eyes as I stand up to go. I walk quietly towards him, stroke his head and whisper goodbye. He licks my face, rolls back slightly and lifts his paw. Heâs waving goodbye to me, I know he is. I love Freddy coz he loves me just for being me.
As I step outside I take a deep breath. Itâs a warm day but still a bit crisp and the sky is a lovely blue instead of that horrible grey it can be sometimes. I start to walk, relieved this is going to be my last exam. I swear to god Iâm going to sit around in my onesie for a whole week when this exam has finished and Iâll do it eating ice cream and watching those ridiculous reality programmes as Mum calls them.
Sheâs already nagging me to get a job for the summer. As if. Like,
no
one has worked as hard as I have for the last year. I actually deserve a year off from everything. I still donât really know if I even want to go to Sixth Form in September. Think Iâd rather go to college and study music but Mum would flip.
Canât believe bloody Tabitha, what a cow, a boring, fun sucking cow; bet she couldnât wait to spill the spaghetti. Oh god, Mumâs bound to interrogate me when I get home. I donât even bloody like smoking. It was Pheebsâ brotherâs spliff and it was her who told me to have a drag. She said I needed to know how to do it properly ready for Chelseaâs party. She said it makes you look proper grown up and everyone will take the piss if I canât do it right. It tastes rank though. I mean proper disgusting. Give me a bar of chocolate any day. It didnât even do anything for me either coz I only took one bloody drag for god bloody sake and now Mum thinks I smoke weed!
Oh god, sheâd better not ground me. I like soooooo need to go to this party, more than life itself. If I donât go I could lose all my friends and itâs a well-known fact that not having any friends is as harmful as smoking. It was on UberFacts or something, so it
must
be true.
So, if Mum doesnât let me go sheâs making it as bad as me smoking anyway.
Sheâll have to take responsibility for making me ill if I have no friends. So sheâll have to let me go for health reasons.
I check my phone. Mum hasnât wished me luck for my exam yet?
I look up and feel the sun on my face. Itâs been nice to get some fresh air. I feel like Iâve got a clear head and Iâm ready for my exam. However, that feeling quickly fades as I turn a corner and the building thatâs been my prison for the last five years comes into sight. My tummy flips. The nerves are starting and I have butterflies threatening to flutter my memory away. Oh god, now my stomach is like making rumbling noises, but I feel too nervous to eat. I feel dead panicky. Iâm trying to remember what Mum said:
âTake a deep breath Cassie â then exhale â nice and slow.â
I hate to admit it but sheâs right, it does actually help, a bit.
I can see Pheebs up ahead. Sheâs waiting with Chelsea and some of the others and it looks like theyâre all passing a ciggie around. My stomach flips again coz I really donât want to join in. I just donât like it. But then if they donât offer me a drag, thatâll make me look crap anyway. Oh bloody hell. Pheebs has spotted me and sheâs waving. Chelsea turns to see who sheâs waving at and glares at me. She looks away again and says something to everyone then they all look towards me and laugh, including Pheebs.
I donât think Chelsea really likes me anymore and Iâm like, not quite sure why, coz I thought she did a couple of months ago. I miss not going round her house coz the truth is I like sooooo fancy her brother â not that Iâll ever be good enough for someone like him. Her Dad was nice too; he talked to me, quite a lot actually.
Once, when Chelsea nipped
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