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my pumpkin so much; my wife made me promise to save Miracle over her and I respected it. She always told me she had lived a great life; now, all she wanted was for her daughter to do the same. You can’t hear too many people say some shit like that. She wasn’t selfish and even in death, I was in love with her because of it.
    My time in the game was winding down, which was why I had the cookout. I was observing everyone, figuring out who I should hand shit down to. I had both of my sons. They went hard in the paint, but so did Dallas and Marquis. I was proud of both of my boys; I had been training them as long as they could talk. Most people give their empire down to their sons. But, I was thinking otherwise. Justin, he put that work in. So, his name was on the table right beside Dallas. I didn’t know who to choose. I knew my decision would fuck with Carter, but I didn’t think he was ready to be handling an entire empire. Not yet anyway. Help run it, yeah, but the entire thing? No. He was the hotheaded one who would no doubt destroy everything we worked so hard for and I didn’t want to see my empire going down the drain like that.
    I let my mind wander while a little young tenderoni I met a while ago gave me top. You ain’t never too old to get ya dick sucked. Besides, I was only forty-three. I didn’t look a day over twenty-five though and that was a good thing. Her name was Missy, and I must admit, it was some good head. But nobody I ever came on to could suck dick better than my wife. Lord, may she rest in peace. I bet y’all thinking ‘He comparing her to someone who is dead.’ But if y’all ever been in my shoes, y’all would do the same damn thing. Enough said. I could admit, I did like her, but not enough to change the status of what we had going on.
    I felt myself about to cum and when I did, it was like I was backed up. Once I stopped, there came some more. I watched her as she bent over and tried holding on to the headboard, preparing herself. “Nah, not tonight, that head you just gave me was good enough.” I slapped her ass. She sucked her teeth and I knew she had an attitude but shit, she had sucked me dry and all I wanted to do was KO. Seeing that she didn’t want me to cuddle her because she was in her feelings, I turned my back and fell asleep. That attitude shit didn’t move me at all.
    *****
    Waking up, it was almost twelve in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. I looked over at the company I had over and instantly got annoyed. I slid out of bed and headed to relieve myself of the piss I was holding in. After doing that, I grabbed a pre-rolled blunt and heading to the place where I always came to get my mind right. I looked back at my bed and started mumbling under my breath.
    I don’t know what it was about Missy, but I couldn’t place my hands on it just yet. As soon as I sat in my chair on my balcony, thoughts came rushing to the forefront of my mind about my first true love, Elaine. She was the only woman who understood me when nobody else did. I let my mind wander back to when it was almost time for her to give birth to Miracle.
    We were lying in the bed after I gave her one of my famous tongue whippings. That’s all we could do since she was at a high risk of having another baby. Having Carter was supposed to be the last time she ever carried a child. But with the fucking and sexing we did, along came Miracle. I wanted nothing more than to write my name inside her guts, but I would have to wait until after the baby came and her six weeks was up. I slid over and wrapped my hands around her. I was facing her back and she was facing the wall. “You know I love you, De’Nardo? We been through a lot of shit since we met, but our love only gotten stronger. I’m happy to have you as my children’s father. Yet, I can’t help but feel as though something is going to go wrong. I pray and pray about it. I handed it over to God a long time ago, but I can’t help but feel in my gut that