Read Online Wished Away: A Broken Fairy Tale by S.P. Cervantes - Free Book Online Page A

also know that I was a large part of her confidence. I told her all the time that it was she who made me stronger, but watching the heartbreak and devastation on her face fills me with such debilitating concern, that when I feel my body drifting to the peaceful oasis that I know is waiting for me on the other side, I try to stay close to her, as if our hearts are still tethered together.
    I feel no pain other than that in my heart when I die. Regret swarms me like an unescapable infestation that I put myself in a position that left my family alone without me. I’ve wanted to be a police officer since I was a kid, it was in my blood. I looked up to my dad and grandpa like they were Gods growing up. The way others in the community respected them always filled me with pride, and when they wore their light brown uniforms, with tall, imposing hats, that might have as well been Superman costumes, because to me, they were the real deal—better than any pretend comic book hero would ever be to me. Jess never questioned my decision to join the force instead of going to Wall Street or going to law school like Holden. She was as proud to watch me become an officer as I was to be one.
    I realize time passes differently when you’re no longer living because in the moment I let my thoughts focus away from the action in my hospital room and come back to Jess, it’s much later than when she kissed me goodbye. She’s alone with my body that is no longer hooked up to machines, and the feeling I have seeing her standing next to my empty body is inexplicable. First, I’m filled a strong need to leave. I know I shouldn’t be here, I know I should be in Heaven or where ever you go after death. I have a strong, undeniable sense I’m not supposed to still be seeing all of this. That uneasiness is instantly replaced with understanding of why I’m still here. I can’t leave Jess yet. I don’t know how or why I’m able to be with her, but only that she still needs me, my job here isn’t done. Watching her at my side, telling me everything she’s going to do to make sure the whole Garden State knows how much I’m loved, I’m struck with awe at Jess’s determination. Her long curly blonde hair is hanging over her shoulders, partially covering her tear stained face.
    “I love you, Sweet Thing.” I can’t help myself when the words come out and am instantly filled with regret that she won’t ever hear me tell her that again.
    Just then, Jess’s head pops up and she brushes the stands of her hair from her face, looking around the room with a bewildered expression. Part of me thinks for a moment that she heard me, that we’re so connected that she can even hear me in death. But that isn’t the case. Gage walks into the room carrying a large bag looking completely wrecked. I know how hard he tried to save me, even though he probably knew before he started the operation that there was nothing left to save. He knows the pain Jess is feeling right now and all I can do is hope he doesn’t blame himself for not be able to save me for her. When she turns and sees him, I see the spark that has always been in her eyes is gone, now her magnetic blue eyes are weighed down with anguish.
    “Mrs. Bosi, I’m sorry to interrupt.” He walks to her side and looks down at my body.
    “Please call me Jess.” Tears are in her eyes and she takes my hand and rubs the place where my wedding ring used to be. “Wait, no, call me Mrs. Bosi. I don’t ever want to be anything but Mrs. Bosi.”
    His empathy evident, he nods and continues, “I’m sorry to say this, but they need to take him now. I have the items he came in with. Would you like them now or would you like me to send them?”
    She takes the bag. “Thanks,” and turns back to me. “I don’t want to leave him. It’ll be too real if I leave. I’ll never hold his hand again. Never kiss him. Never feel his big arms around me again. Do you know how good that feels? Do you? If I leave right