Read Online Wished Away: A Broken Fairy Tale by S.P. Cervantes - Free Book Online
Authors: S.P. Cervantes
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smiled back at him, wishing so much that he was mine. “I kind of have to, it’s my fault.” I tried to hide my affection.
A knowing smiled curled on his lips. “Is that the only reason?”
I flicked his hand as hard as I could, still not wanting him to know how much I wanted him to be mine. “You’re my best friend. I’ll always be here for you.”
My story is interrupted with a loud, distinguishable beep that makes the world around me crumble into a million sharp pieces that cuts through every cell in my body. It’s so loud and unending, that it feels as if the nerves of my ear drums are being splintered apart at the same moment as my heart. People come rushing in, pulling me away from Dave, my life is slipping away with his when they pull my fingers away from his and a woman ushers me aside. Thankfully someone stops the machine that’s screaming at me that says my husband is no longer breathing, but that doesn’t contain the fear that’s overwhelming me right now. I stand outside Dave’s room, with people running in and out, but I can’t seem to make sense of any of it. Hands touch my shoulders, and it’s a man with the eyes so sad, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror. It’s Dr. Scott, but he’s dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. He says something, but I don’t know what. I can’t think of anything right now but that fucking DNR order. I walk to the doorway and watch as Dr. Scott removes the breathing tube from Dave, somehow knowing I’m there, and looks back at me with regret. When a nurse tries to stop me when I begin walking to Dave’s side, Dr. Scott stops her. They all step aside and make room for me to be with my husband one last time. I’m in shock I think, because my heart is racing, but I don’t feel alive. I look up at Dr. Scott. “Is he dying?”
His face is defeated and I don’t need to hear the words of confirmation that follow. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Bosi.”
I close my eyes, trying to make myself disappear, praying that this is all a nightmare and the love of my life wasn’t just ripped away from me. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself enough to see his last few moments, knowing this will most likely be the last time I’m able to hold him and don’t want to waste a moment of that time in my grief. I open my eyes to see Dave laying in front of me, looking so peaceful, so handsome actually. His beautiful eyes that were always so full of life are closed, and I suppose it is better I don’t know what death looks like in them. I brush my hand across his stubbly jaw and bring my lips to his. I will forever remember how perfect his lips feel against mine with our last kiss, and keep that memory locked away for the rest of my life.
Dave
W atching Jess kiss me and not being able to feel it, is the hardest part of dying. As Jess is telling me the story about how she gave me the scar on my head, the memory of how adorable she was that night fills me with such peace, I knew it was time to let go. I need Jess to be happy and feel carefree joy like that again, and the longer I hold on like this, the longer she’ll be tormented with worry and fear. My body is destroyed, I can feel death in every cell with each breath this damn machine wedged down my throat is forcing me to take. The only reason my body is still working is because of all these machines, and that’s not how I want to live. That’s not how I want Jess to live with me. I have no doubt that my time has run short here, and while I wish more than anything in the world that I could have more time with Charlotte and Jess, it’s not my choice to make. My body is not mine anymore. I can’t take it back, and there’s no saving me from the untimely death that’s hovering over me like an ominous cloud.
I see her kiss my lips, and wish I could let her know that I’m ok-- that more than anything I need her to be ok. I’ve never really worried about Jess because she’s such a strong person in so many ways, but I
A knowing smiled curled on his lips. “Is that the only reason?”
I flicked his hand as hard as I could, still not wanting him to know how much I wanted him to be mine. “You’re my best friend. I’ll always be here for you.”
My story is interrupted with a loud, distinguishable beep that makes the world around me crumble into a million sharp pieces that cuts through every cell in my body. It’s so loud and unending, that it feels as if the nerves of my ear drums are being splintered apart at the same moment as my heart. People come rushing in, pulling me away from Dave, my life is slipping away with his when they pull my fingers away from his and a woman ushers me aside. Thankfully someone stops the machine that’s screaming at me that says my husband is no longer breathing, but that doesn’t contain the fear that’s overwhelming me right now. I stand outside Dave’s room, with people running in and out, but I can’t seem to make sense of any of it. Hands touch my shoulders, and it’s a man with the eyes so sad, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror. It’s Dr. Scott, but he’s dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. He says something, but I don’t know what. I can’t think of anything right now but that fucking DNR order. I walk to the doorway and watch as Dr. Scott removes the breathing tube from Dave, somehow knowing I’m there, and looks back at me with regret. When a nurse tries to stop me when I begin walking to Dave’s side, Dr. Scott stops her. They all step aside and make room for me to be with my husband one last time. I’m in shock I think, because my heart is racing, but I don’t feel alive. I look up at Dr. Scott. “Is he dying?”
His face is defeated and I don’t need to hear the words of confirmation that follow. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Bosi.”
I close my eyes, trying to make myself disappear, praying that this is all a nightmare and the love of my life wasn’t just ripped away from me. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself enough to see his last few moments, knowing this will most likely be the last time I’m able to hold him and don’t want to waste a moment of that time in my grief. I open my eyes to see Dave laying in front of me, looking so peaceful, so handsome actually. His beautiful eyes that were always so full of life are closed, and I suppose it is better I don’t know what death looks like in them. I brush my hand across his stubbly jaw and bring my lips to his. I will forever remember how perfect his lips feel against mine with our last kiss, and keep that memory locked away for the rest of my life.
Dave
W atching Jess kiss me and not being able to feel it, is the hardest part of dying. As Jess is telling me the story about how she gave me the scar on my head, the memory of how adorable she was that night fills me with such peace, I knew it was time to let go. I need Jess to be happy and feel carefree joy like that again, and the longer I hold on like this, the longer she’ll be tormented with worry and fear. My body is destroyed, I can feel death in every cell with each breath this damn machine wedged down my throat is forcing me to take. The only reason my body is still working is because of all these machines, and that’s not how I want to live. That’s not how I want Jess to live with me. I have no doubt that my time has run short here, and while I wish more than anything in the world that I could have more time with Charlotte and Jess, it’s not my choice to make. My body is not mine anymore. I can’t take it back, and there’s no saving me from the untimely death that’s hovering over me like an ominous cloud.
I see her kiss my lips, and wish I could let her know that I’m ok-- that more than anything I need her to be ok. I’ve never really worried about Jess because she’s such a strong person in so many ways, but I
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