hair wisping about her tiny, sly face. Her arms quivered like reeds. She turned and shuffled off. I closed the door and returned to my bed.
I didn’t sleep until the first faint gray feelers of dawn touched the floor through the front windows. And I had discovered that I no longer wanted to leave this house.
She was torturing me, but I’d have her. Somehow. If I had to take her by force. Perhaps that’s what she wanted. I knew it was wrong. My conscience was like a rasping steel file sawing back and forth inside me. But I refused to listen. And I would refuse. I had to.
• • •
When I woke I felt different. I remembered, but I felt wrong. I decided to fight. I’d stay and fight. And though I knew it was the right thing to shut up about everything, I figured I’d have a talk with Verne.
But Verne might not be home for days.
Chapter Nine
V ERNE called at ten. Petra spoke with him a few moments, then turned to me in the hallway. “He wants to talk to you, Alex.”
The old woman was eating breakfast in the kitchen.
“All right,” I said. I took the receiver from her hand. She didn’t move from beside me, pressed against me. Her hand smoothed my back. She smiled, then moved away.
“Alex! How’s everything?”
I was startled at the tone of his voice. He seemed full of life, very different from the way he’d been when he’d left.
“Fine,” I said. “Everything’s fine. Only I wish to God you were here.”
“That’s what I’m calling about. Sorry to hell and gone, but I won’t be able to make it till sometime Saturday.”
Saturday!
This was Wednesday. No, Tuesday. Not until Saturday. Petra was standing down the hall, nodding at me. She wore a black skirt, a tight white blouse, and a yellow ribbon in her hair. As I stared at her, she tucked the blouse more securely into the waist of her skirt, smoothed it out.
“I’m sorry, old man,” Verne said. “But that’s the way it is. Things are bad down here. I had a minor strike on my hands, had to increase wages. Got ten truckloads of lumber not fit to build an outhouse with. Had to return that. Found out my head man was knocking down. Had to fire him and hire another, and the government’s got some damned new clause …”
“Cripes,” I said. Then I realized this was my chance. My chance to leave and to explain at the same time. It would be bad enough that way, but it would be lots easier than staying and standing what might come. I looked straight at Petra and showed her my teeth. She sensed something. “Look, Verne,” I said. “It’s great here and everything, but why don’t I go on back home and wait till you get things—”
He interrupted sharply. His voice seemed snappy, full of power, aggressive. “Wouldn’t hear of it. Don’t suggest it again. If anything, you’re going to stay over longer!”
Petra was watching me. At first her eyes had narrowed, but now she saw my face fall and she smiled again.
I knew I couldn’t insist. I felt I couldn’t. I didn’t want to make him suspicious in any way. So now I was thinking like that.
“All right, Verne. Get home as soon as you can. We haven’t even got drunk together yet.”
“Yeah. Well, I’ve got to scram now, Alex. Keep the ball rolling. You get Petra to show you around.”
“Sure, I will.”
“How’s Mother?”
“Fine. She’s fine.”
“Say. I forgot to pay Jenny and the cook. Will you tell Petra we owe them two weeks?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks. See you Saturday.”
He was gone. The line was dead.
“You see, Alex?” Petra said. “You wouldn’t leave now, anyway, would you—really?”
• • •
We drove around the far side of the lake, a good twenty-five miles, ate lunch at a drive-in near Canyonville, and came up the near side of the lake.
We didn’t talk much. The old woman perched as usual in the center of the rear seat. She gabbled about the scenery until it began to get me down. But just being beside Petra, watching her from the corner of my
I didn’t sleep until the first faint gray feelers of dawn touched the floor through the front windows. And I had discovered that I no longer wanted to leave this house.
She was torturing me, but I’d have her. Somehow. If I had to take her by force. Perhaps that’s what she wanted. I knew it was wrong. My conscience was like a rasping steel file sawing back and forth inside me. But I refused to listen. And I would refuse. I had to.
• • •
When I woke I felt different. I remembered, but I felt wrong. I decided to fight. I’d stay and fight. And though I knew it was the right thing to shut up about everything, I figured I’d have a talk with Verne.
But Verne might not be home for days.
Chapter Nine
V ERNE called at ten. Petra spoke with him a few moments, then turned to me in the hallway. “He wants to talk to you, Alex.”
The old woman was eating breakfast in the kitchen.
“All right,” I said. I took the receiver from her hand. She didn’t move from beside me, pressed against me. Her hand smoothed my back. She smiled, then moved away.
“Alex! How’s everything?”
I was startled at the tone of his voice. He seemed full of life, very different from the way he’d been when he’d left.
“Fine,” I said. “Everything’s fine. Only I wish to God you were here.”
“That’s what I’m calling about. Sorry to hell and gone, but I won’t be able to make it till sometime Saturday.”
Saturday!
This was Wednesday. No, Tuesday. Not until Saturday. Petra was standing down the hall, nodding at me. She wore a black skirt, a tight white blouse, and a yellow ribbon in her hair. As I stared at her, she tucked the blouse more securely into the waist of her skirt, smoothed it out.
“I’m sorry, old man,” Verne said. “But that’s the way it is. Things are bad down here. I had a minor strike on my hands, had to increase wages. Got ten truckloads of lumber not fit to build an outhouse with. Had to return that. Found out my head man was knocking down. Had to fire him and hire another, and the government’s got some damned new clause …”
“Cripes,” I said. Then I realized this was my chance. My chance to leave and to explain at the same time. It would be bad enough that way, but it would be lots easier than staying and standing what might come. I looked straight at Petra and showed her my teeth. She sensed something. “Look, Verne,” I said. “It’s great here and everything, but why don’t I go on back home and wait till you get things—”
He interrupted sharply. His voice seemed snappy, full of power, aggressive. “Wouldn’t hear of it. Don’t suggest it again. If anything, you’re going to stay over longer!”
Petra was watching me. At first her eyes had narrowed, but now she saw my face fall and she smiled again.
I knew I couldn’t insist. I felt I couldn’t. I didn’t want to make him suspicious in any way. So now I was thinking like that.
“All right, Verne. Get home as soon as you can. We haven’t even got drunk together yet.”
“Yeah. Well, I’ve got to scram now, Alex. Keep the ball rolling. You get Petra to show you around.”
“Sure, I will.”
“How’s Mother?”
“Fine. She’s fine.”
“Say. I forgot to pay Jenny and the cook. Will you tell Petra we owe them two weeks?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks. See you Saturday.”
He was gone. The line was dead.
“You see, Alex?” Petra said. “You wouldn’t leave now, anyway, would you—really?”
• • •
We drove around the far side of the lake, a good twenty-five miles, ate lunch at a drive-in near Canyonville, and came up the near side of the lake.
We didn’t talk much. The old woman perched as usual in the center of the rear seat. She gabbled about the scenery until it began to get me down. But just being beside Petra, watching her from the corner of my
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