Read Online Whose Life is it Anyway? by Sinéad Moriarty - Free Book Online
Authors: Sinéad Moriarty
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never lie again.’
Suddenly she stopped crying and looked at me. Then she hugged me and started bawling again. My mother wasn’t normally a hugger. This was all most irregular. I had clearly pushed her over the edge this time. She’d end up going on ‘holidays’ like Uncle Pat. Oh, God, what had I done?
Eventually she was able to speak. ‘Niamh, I want you to listen to me very carefully,’ she said. She was speaking slowly, as if she was talking to a foreign person. ‘Your sister has done a terrible thing and has brought shame on our family. Our lives will never be the same again. It’s going to be very hard for you and Finn, but especially for you because you’re a girl. Your father is devastated, as am I, but we’re going to have to put our best foot forward. I’ll need you to be very strong. People are going to talk about us and spread nasty rumours. I want you to hold your head up high and ignore them. Remember, Siobhan is your sister, and although she has done a terrible thing, it’s going to be harder for her than anyone else.’
I had no idea what she was talking about. Siobhan bringing shame on the family? What on earth did she mean? Had she come last in the Irish-dancing competition? ‘Mum,’ I said gently – she had started crying again – ‘Mum, I don’t know what you mean. What has Siobhan done?’
My mother stared out of the window. Her mouth was set in a tight hard line. ‘Your fool of a sister has gone and got herself pregnant.’
OH MY GOD . I was gobsmacked. Siobhan! Pregnant! I just couldn’t believe it. No wonder my mother was so upset. This was the worst thing that could happen to an unwed Irish girl. Wow, I thought. So Siobhan was having sex with Liam. I saw her in a whole new light. But to have got caught by getting pregnant! My father would go insane. He’d never get over it.
Then it occurred to me, in my self-obsessed fifteen-year-old way, that this might work in my favour. Clearly my mother hadn’t noticed I was doing tap so my secret was safe. Plus, I’d be in the cool gang again because they’d all want to know about my wild sister. Siobhan a rebel – who would have thought it? And I would no longer be the one who always messed up. I know it’s awful, but that was what I was thinking when my mother interrupted me.
‘Now, you listen here, missy. That disco you went to last night is the first and last one you will ever go to. You are not even so much as to look at a boy. Siobhan has ruined her life and I’ll be damned if you’ll go the same way. You’ll put your head down and start working really hard in school. You’re going to college like Siobhan was supposed to and make the most of the opportunities your dad and I could only dream of. There will be no more messing and no more bad reports. I’m warning you.’
Oh, God, my life was over. My mother had one main obsession and it was that we all go to university. My father saw no need for women to study after school. He thought we should focus on getting married and having children – as opposed to having babies unwed at seventeen. But this was one area in which my mother put her foot firmly down. She drilled it into us that we were to go to college, get a proper education, have a career, and then meet someone nice and settle down. But college came first.
That was OK for Siobhan, who was planning to go to university in Ireland and study Gaelic. This was the only option my father would agree to. It was the compromise he and my mother had reached, regarding higher education. You could go to college but only in Ireland.
Well, that had been Siobhan’s Plan A. I was sure Plan B would be a lot different. I, on the other hand, wanted to be an air-stewardess. I wanted to wear a glamorous uniform, bright red lipstick and three-inch heels. It seemed so easy – get dressed up, look beautiful and smile a lot. And you got to travel for free.
Also, I wasn’t very good in school and I didn’t like homework. Apparently
Suddenly she stopped crying and looked at me. Then she hugged me and started bawling again. My mother wasn’t normally a hugger. This was all most irregular. I had clearly pushed her over the edge this time. She’d end up going on ‘holidays’ like Uncle Pat. Oh, God, what had I done?
Eventually she was able to speak. ‘Niamh, I want you to listen to me very carefully,’ she said. She was speaking slowly, as if she was talking to a foreign person. ‘Your sister has done a terrible thing and has brought shame on our family. Our lives will never be the same again. It’s going to be very hard for you and Finn, but especially for you because you’re a girl. Your father is devastated, as am I, but we’re going to have to put our best foot forward. I’ll need you to be very strong. People are going to talk about us and spread nasty rumours. I want you to hold your head up high and ignore them. Remember, Siobhan is your sister, and although she has done a terrible thing, it’s going to be harder for her than anyone else.’
I had no idea what she was talking about. Siobhan bringing shame on the family? What on earth did she mean? Had she come last in the Irish-dancing competition? ‘Mum,’ I said gently – she had started crying again – ‘Mum, I don’t know what you mean. What has Siobhan done?’
My mother stared out of the window. Her mouth was set in a tight hard line. ‘Your fool of a sister has gone and got herself pregnant.’
OH MY GOD . I was gobsmacked. Siobhan! Pregnant! I just couldn’t believe it. No wonder my mother was so upset. This was the worst thing that could happen to an unwed Irish girl. Wow, I thought. So Siobhan was having sex with Liam. I saw her in a whole new light. But to have got caught by getting pregnant! My father would go insane. He’d never get over it.
Then it occurred to me, in my self-obsessed fifteen-year-old way, that this might work in my favour. Clearly my mother hadn’t noticed I was doing tap so my secret was safe. Plus, I’d be in the cool gang again because they’d all want to know about my wild sister. Siobhan a rebel – who would have thought it? And I would no longer be the one who always messed up. I know it’s awful, but that was what I was thinking when my mother interrupted me.
‘Now, you listen here, missy. That disco you went to last night is the first and last one you will ever go to. You are not even so much as to look at a boy. Siobhan has ruined her life and I’ll be damned if you’ll go the same way. You’ll put your head down and start working really hard in school. You’re going to college like Siobhan was supposed to and make the most of the opportunities your dad and I could only dream of. There will be no more messing and no more bad reports. I’m warning you.’
Oh, God, my life was over. My mother had one main obsession and it was that we all go to university. My father saw no need for women to study after school. He thought we should focus on getting married and having children – as opposed to having babies unwed at seventeen. But this was one area in which my mother put her foot firmly down. She drilled it into us that we were to go to college, get a proper education, have a career, and then meet someone nice and settle down. But college came first.
That was OK for Siobhan, who was planning to go to university in Ireland and study Gaelic. This was the only option my father would agree to. It was the compromise he and my mother had reached, regarding higher education. You could go to college but only in Ireland.
Well, that had been Siobhan’s Plan A. I was sure Plan B would be a lot different. I, on the other hand, wanted to be an air-stewardess. I wanted to wear a glamorous uniform, bright red lipstick and three-inch heels. It seemed so easy – get dressed up, look beautiful and smile a lot. And you got to travel for free.
Also, I wasn’t very good in school and I didn’t like homework. Apparently
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