Read Online Whore Stories by Tyler Stoddard Smith - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Tyler Stoddard Smith
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With cameras still rolling the sheriff galloped down the street in circles waving the hairpiece over his head in imitation of a Native American warrior flaunting a freshly cut scalp. It was poetic justice for Zindler, and mighty fine comedy all the way around.
For early ’70s nostalgia and/or more information on the Chicken Ranch, put on ZZ Top’s “La Grange” and rock out.
SNOOP DOGG
PRO FILE
DAY JOBS: Youth League basketball coach; Crip
CLAIM TO FAME: Multiplatinum rap artist; porno entrepreneur
THEATER OF OPERATIONS: The LBC and beyond
The S-N-Double-O-P D-O-Double-G’s tales of pimpin’ and hos and the gangsta lifestyle all figure prominently in his lyrics, but is he for real? Was Snoop really a pimp? Here it is straight from the hustla’s mouth on FUSE TV in an interview with music journalist Touré:
Yeah, I’m talking like really going in and getting girls to bring you back money for their services…. And I was running with real pimps and getting the understanding of pimpin’. ’Cause I don’t do things for fake, I do it for real.
Snoop began to cotton to his new profession. He tells Rolling Stone magazine that shortly after his entrée into the pimp hustle, he was delighted to discover, “That shit was my natural calling and once I got involved with it, it became fun. It was like shootin’ layups for me. I was makin’ ’em every time.” Snoop Doggy Dogg—just making ho buckets.
In 1971 Calvin Broadus Jr. was born in Long Beach, California, and he grew up to be a man of many talents. Over the years he has proven himself to be remarkably skilled as a petty thief, a drug dealer, an actor, a marijuana legalization activist, a rap star, and host of Doggy Fizzle Televizzle , a sketch comedy show that ran from 2002 to 2003, on which Snoop played characters such as Cap’n Pimp. The central message of his show revolved around the notion that pimping is a viable career option. Moreover, children who had the gumption to develop proficiency in this line of work could presumably grow up to live in a world of bright colors, money, and hos. However, after the show fizzizled, the pretend Cap’n Pimp felt compelled to take on pimping for real from 2003 to 2004 while working on a series of porn videos and simultaneously coaching his son’s Pop Warner football team.
While much of Snoop’s musical oeuvre is an homage to the gangster life—shooting people, dealing drugs, driving around, clockin’ hos, and being rich ( see “Who Am I [What’s My Name?],” “Snoop’s Upside Your Head,” and “Serial Killer,”)—his later work shows a kind of maturity as Snoop the family man made a concerted effort to shed the guns-thugs-and-drugs stereotype and whole-heartedly embrace his true calling, that of a pimp and pornographer.
If you’ve ever been involved in a philosophical debate, you’ve undoubtedly found the conversation winding back to the ageless question: Who would make a better prostitute? Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera? In that case, you need the Doggfather. With his storied eloquence, Snoop resolves the question, asserting that “Britney would make a better prostitute than Christina,” because “She’s thicker.” So, big propers to the Doggfather for settling yet another existential quandary.
With Snoop Dogg’s Hustlaz: Diary of a Pimp erotic video series and other “Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle Productions,” Snoop made tremendous inroads into the porn industry, with Diary of a Pimp eventually becoming the bestselling erotic video of 2003. In Diary of a Pimp , Snoop, dressed like a parody of a pimp, goes around enlisting women, many of whom are hip-hop journalists, to join his crew of hos. All forty seem persuaded by the Doggfather and then, well, you know how these things unfold. And so it goes, and so it went.
Today, Snoop still supports youth football and family, and he seems contented to sit around counting money and blowing blunts, making the occasional appearance as a guest host on WWE
For early ’70s nostalgia and/or more information on the Chicken Ranch, put on ZZ Top’s “La Grange” and rock out.
SNOOP DOGG
PRO FILE
DAY JOBS: Youth League basketball coach; Crip
CLAIM TO FAME: Multiplatinum rap artist; porno entrepreneur
THEATER OF OPERATIONS: The LBC and beyond
The S-N-Double-O-P D-O-Double-G’s tales of pimpin’ and hos and the gangsta lifestyle all figure prominently in his lyrics, but is he for real? Was Snoop really a pimp? Here it is straight from the hustla’s mouth on FUSE TV in an interview with music journalist Touré:
Yeah, I’m talking like really going in and getting girls to bring you back money for their services…. And I was running with real pimps and getting the understanding of pimpin’. ’Cause I don’t do things for fake, I do it for real.
Snoop began to cotton to his new profession. He tells Rolling Stone magazine that shortly after his entrée into the pimp hustle, he was delighted to discover, “That shit was my natural calling and once I got involved with it, it became fun. It was like shootin’ layups for me. I was makin’ ’em every time.” Snoop Doggy Dogg—just making ho buckets.
In 1971 Calvin Broadus Jr. was born in Long Beach, California, and he grew up to be a man of many talents. Over the years he has proven himself to be remarkably skilled as a petty thief, a drug dealer, an actor, a marijuana legalization activist, a rap star, and host of Doggy Fizzle Televizzle , a sketch comedy show that ran from 2002 to 2003, on which Snoop played characters such as Cap’n Pimp. The central message of his show revolved around the notion that pimping is a viable career option. Moreover, children who had the gumption to develop proficiency in this line of work could presumably grow up to live in a world of bright colors, money, and hos. However, after the show fizzizled, the pretend Cap’n Pimp felt compelled to take on pimping for real from 2003 to 2004 while working on a series of porn videos and simultaneously coaching his son’s Pop Warner football team.
While much of Snoop’s musical oeuvre is an homage to the gangster life—shooting people, dealing drugs, driving around, clockin’ hos, and being rich ( see “Who Am I [What’s My Name?],” “Snoop’s Upside Your Head,” and “Serial Killer,”)—his later work shows a kind of maturity as Snoop the family man made a concerted effort to shed the guns-thugs-and-drugs stereotype and whole-heartedly embrace his true calling, that of a pimp and pornographer.
If you’ve ever been involved in a philosophical debate, you’ve undoubtedly found the conversation winding back to the ageless question: Who would make a better prostitute? Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera? In that case, you need the Doggfather. With his storied eloquence, Snoop resolves the question, asserting that “Britney would make a better prostitute than Christina,” because “She’s thicker.” So, big propers to the Doggfather for settling yet another existential quandary.
With Snoop Dogg’s Hustlaz: Diary of a Pimp erotic video series and other “Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle Productions,” Snoop made tremendous inroads into the porn industry, with Diary of a Pimp eventually becoming the bestselling erotic video of 2003. In Diary of a Pimp , Snoop, dressed like a parody of a pimp, goes around enlisting women, many of whom are hip-hop journalists, to join his crew of hos. All forty seem persuaded by the Doggfather and then, well, you know how these things unfold. And so it goes, and so it went.
Today, Snoop still supports youth football and family, and he seems contented to sit around counting money and blowing blunts, making the occasional appearance as a guest host on WWE
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