Who Moved My Blackberry?

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Authors: Lucy Kellaway
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the Morale Envelope in Europe”
    4:30 BSM debriefed by KB
    I know I can count on all of you to make the day a great success.
    Keith
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Jenny Withers
    Jens—How come you get to show him around??
    Mx
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Barry Malone
    Hi Barry
    Delighted to hear that you are crossing the pond next week. I wondered if I could beg a few minutes of your time to tell you about some blue sky thinking I’ve been doing re the role of a-b glöbâl UK. As marketing director I am uniquely well placed to assess our strengths and weaknesses as a corporate brand. I believe that we are currently at an inflexion point—the challenge is to harness our talent to create a proactive headset that will take us from good to great.
    I would be delighted to meet with you when you are in London to discuss these ideas.
    All my very bestest
    Martin
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Phyllis Lukes
    Dear Mum
    Sorry I couldn’t get down to see you at the weekend. Happy Birthday for next Tuesday. Great news about the knee op … you’ll be a new woman once it’s done!
    I’ve got some very good news too. You know I’ve been a bit cheesed off at work recently? Well I’m in line for a big job, running the whole outfit in the UK. That means 1,000 people, and your loving son would be in charge of all of them!
    I know you think all this coaching stuff is just mumbo jumbo, and obviously I was pretty skeptical at first, but I actually think Pandora’s doing me a lot of good.
    Boys are both fine. Max is on the school debating team, and is leading a debate on immigration. “This house believes immigration has undermined the nature of Britishness.” You’d be right behind him on that!
    Don’t go on fussing about the shelves, mum. I’ll do them next time, but for now can’t you get the home help to pile all the stuff into the cupboard, and I’ll sort next time I come?
    Lots and lots of love
Martin
MARCH 10
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Jenny Withers
    Darling—Jake’s housemaster just left a message saying that Jake and Tarquin have been drinking Bacardi Breezers on the school premises, and they are both suspended. Next time either of them steps one foot out of line, they get expelled. Can you sort it? He needs picking up this pm. M x
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Jenny Withers
    Jens—No I can’t ring Tarquin’s mother. I don’t have her number, and I’m preparing one of the most important presentations of my life, and I still haven’t got these sodding WDPs done for Faith.
    I know you’ve got your Lunch and Learn today, but can’t Lucinda do it instead?
    The little bugger has picked the worst possible time to do this.
    M
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Christo Weinberg
    Christo—Attached is your latest Work Devleopment Plan. Let me know if you are in agreement, and I’ll sign off on it. Martin
    Name: Christo Weinberg
    Position: Assistant Brand Evangelist
    Christo has achieved some creative successes over the past six months; he develops own capabilities, and improves business processes. However, there are issues around his ability to work effectively with others. He needs to demonstrate integrity and high personal standards, and needs to support the development of others’ creativity. He shows enthusiasm in giving time to non-work activities. While this is to be encouraged, it is a pity if it is allowed to interfere with his work. I recommend he attends a refresher course in Teamskills and three-day residential seminar on How to Work Effectively with Others. His progress will be reviewed at the next WDP in six months’ time.
    Signed by
    Countersigned by
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Christo Weinberg
    Hi Christo
    I’m sorry that you are not comfortable with the WDP. This is actually a highly balanced assessment, with positives and negatives.
    As we discussed in our mentoring session, you need to get better at receiving feedback. It is only

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