Read Online Want to Go Private? by Sarah Darer Littman - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Sarah Darer Littman
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little more with it you could, um, maybe call or text me?”
He takes his pen and scribbles his cell number on my science notebook. I just stand there, nodding like a mute idiot.
“Hope you feel better. Later!” he says, leaving me standing there, dazed.
I wish Faith were on the bus with me on the way home so I could ask her advice. But I bet she’s busy backstage in the auditorium working on sets with The Amazing Ted. I rest my head against the window, listening to the hubbub of conversation and the tinny sound coming from the iPod earbuds of the kid in front of me (one case of adult deafness, coming right up) and try to imagine talking to Luke about this. But I get the feeling he’d take it badly. Really badly. This is something I’m going to have to work out for myself.
I log on to ChezTeen.com as soon as I get home, but Luke’s
still
not online. What the hell? Maybe he was just bullshitting me when he said I was gorgeous and the “hottest chick he’d ever seen” and stuff like that. Maybe he doesn’t really like me at all. I’m struggling to concentrate on my homework, but between the exhaustion and my constant checking of Luke’s status, it takes me twice as long as it normally would.
When I’m finally done, I see that Faith’s online. I ask her to go into a private chat.
Faithfull205: What’s up?
AbyAngel99: Billy Fisher asked me out, kind of.
Faithfull205: OMG!!! Wait — what do u mean “kind of”?
AbyAngel99: He asked me if I wanted to study w/him tomorrow night and then go to a movie.
Faithfull205: Sounds like a date to me!
AbyAngel99: I guess.
Faithfull205: Soooooooooooooooo …
Faithfull205: Is that why u couldn’t come 4 a sleepover?
I realize Billy’s given me just the excuse I needed for why I said no.
AbyAngel99: Well, yeah. I mean I haven’t said yes yet, because I’m not sure if I want to go or not.
Faithfull205: Why wouldn’t u go?
AbyAngel99: IDK. I’m too tired to think. I didn’t sleep well last night.
Faithfull205: ?
I can’t talk to Faith about Luke.
People might not understand about us
. I know
she
won’t understand. I just know it.
AbyAngel99: IDK, just one of those nights.
Faithfull205: Well, I think u should say yes. He’s cute!
AbyAngel99: IDK. Not sure.
Faithfull205: Y not???????????????
AbyAngel99: I just …
Without telling her about Luke, I don’t know what to say. So I lie. I’m getting better and better at lying to Faith. It’s kind of scary, considering how I never used to lie to her, ever.
AbyAngel99: Just not sure he’s my type.
Faithfull205: Waah? But he’s cute and nice — what’s not to like?
He’s not Luke, that’s what.
Faithfull205: And anyway, it’s only a movie.
AbyAngel99: I bet that’s what Mom would say.
Faithfull205: It’s rare, but sometimes moms r right.
AbyAngel99: Yeah, very rare. Rarer than a compliment from Amanda Armitage.
Faithfull205: LOL!
Faithfull205: So RU going to say yes??????
AbyAngel99: Maybe.
Faithfull205: What u got to lose?
What have I got to lose? A “relationship” with a guy I’ve never even met, who I think will be mad if I go out with a guy I actually know.
Maybe Faith’s right. Maybe I should say yes to Billy. But I want to hear whatever it was that Luke wanted to say to me first.
AbyAngel99: I’ll think about it. I promise.
Faithfull205: K. Think about it & say yes! If u don’t, then u HAVE 2 come 4 a sleepover.
AbyAngel99: Whateva, Ms. Bossy.
Faithfull205: I hope Ted asks me out sometime.
AbyAngel99: How r things going?
Faithfull205: He’s sooooooooooooooooo cute I can’t stand it!
AbyAngel99: O … kaaaaaay.
Faithfull205: But we talked the whole time we were waiting for the late bus.
AbyAngel99: Cool. Good sign.
Faithfull205: He’s really funny and —
She goes on and on, describing Ted’s wonderfulness, and I periodically write “Great” or “Awesome” but after a while I just want to get off, so I tell her my mom’s calling me. I log out for half
He takes his pen and scribbles his cell number on my science notebook. I just stand there, nodding like a mute idiot.
“Hope you feel better. Later!” he says, leaving me standing there, dazed.
I wish Faith were on the bus with me on the way home so I could ask her advice. But I bet she’s busy backstage in the auditorium working on sets with The Amazing Ted. I rest my head against the window, listening to the hubbub of conversation and the tinny sound coming from the iPod earbuds of the kid in front of me (one case of adult deafness, coming right up) and try to imagine talking to Luke about this. But I get the feeling he’d take it badly. Really badly. This is something I’m going to have to work out for myself.
I log on to ChezTeen.com as soon as I get home, but Luke’s
still
not online. What the hell? Maybe he was just bullshitting me when he said I was gorgeous and the “hottest chick he’d ever seen” and stuff like that. Maybe he doesn’t really like me at all. I’m struggling to concentrate on my homework, but between the exhaustion and my constant checking of Luke’s status, it takes me twice as long as it normally would.
When I’m finally done, I see that Faith’s online. I ask her to go into a private chat.
Faithfull205: What’s up?
AbyAngel99: Billy Fisher asked me out, kind of.
Faithfull205: OMG!!! Wait — what do u mean “kind of”?
AbyAngel99: He asked me if I wanted to study w/him tomorrow night and then go to a movie.
Faithfull205: Sounds like a date to me!
AbyAngel99: I guess.
Faithfull205: Soooooooooooooooo …
Faithfull205: Is that why u couldn’t come 4 a sleepover?
I realize Billy’s given me just the excuse I needed for why I said no.
AbyAngel99: Well, yeah. I mean I haven’t said yes yet, because I’m not sure if I want to go or not.
Faithfull205: Why wouldn’t u go?
AbyAngel99: IDK. I’m too tired to think. I didn’t sleep well last night.
Faithfull205: ?
I can’t talk to Faith about Luke.
People might not understand about us
. I know
she
won’t understand. I just know it.
AbyAngel99: IDK, just one of those nights.
Faithfull205: Well, I think u should say yes. He’s cute!
AbyAngel99: IDK. Not sure.
Faithfull205: Y not???????????????
AbyAngel99: I just …
Without telling her about Luke, I don’t know what to say. So I lie. I’m getting better and better at lying to Faith. It’s kind of scary, considering how I never used to lie to her, ever.
AbyAngel99: Just not sure he’s my type.
Faithfull205: Waah? But he’s cute and nice — what’s not to like?
He’s not Luke, that’s what.
Faithfull205: And anyway, it’s only a movie.
AbyAngel99: I bet that’s what Mom would say.
Faithfull205: It’s rare, but sometimes moms r right.
AbyAngel99: Yeah, very rare. Rarer than a compliment from Amanda Armitage.
Faithfull205: LOL!
Faithfull205: So RU going to say yes??????
AbyAngel99: Maybe.
Faithfull205: What u got to lose?
What have I got to lose? A “relationship” with a guy I’ve never even met, who I think will be mad if I go out with a guy I actually know.
Maybe Faith’s right. Maybe I should say yes to Billy. But I want to hear whatever it was that Luke wanted to say to me first.
AbyAngel99: I’ll think about it. I promise.
Faithfull205: K. Think about it & say yes! If u don’t, then u HAVE 2 come 4 a sleepover.
AbyAngel99: Whateva, Ms. Bossy.
Faithfull205: I hope Ted asks me out sometime.
AbyAngel99: How r things going?
Faithfull205: He’s sooooooooooooooooo cute I can’t stand it!
AbyAngel99: O … kaaaaaay.
Faithfull205: But we talked the whole time we were waiting for the late bus.
AbyAngel99: Cool. Good sign.
Faithfull205: He’s really funny and —
She goes on and on, describing Ted’s wonderfulness, and I periodically write “Great” or “Awesome” but after a while I just want to get off, so I tell her my mom’s calling me. I log out for half
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