men haven't courted me.” Hannah lifted her chin. “But I can't pretend to be something I'm not.”
“Of course not.” Phoebe lifted her needle and began stitching again.
“I'll probably become en alt maedel.”
The needle fell from Phoebe's fingers. “That's the first time I've heard you talk like that. You will not be an old maid.”
Hannah got up and paced around the room.
“Tell me what's troubling you, child.”
Stopping, Hannah turned to face Phoebe. How she wished she could call back her words. This kind, wise woman who had invited her to stay in her home, to make it her home after Matthew and Jenny had married, shouldn't be privy to such blurted out admissions. Phoebe looked so frail and old these days. She'd insisted nothing was wrong when Hannah had questioned her several times but Hannah wondered.
“I'm sorry. You don't need to listen to me being so childish.I'm not a teenager anymore.”
“Talk to me, Hannah.”
Phoebe's voice sounded surprisingly firm. She patted the cushion next to her on the sofa.
“This is the first autumn I've felt like this,” she confessed.Hannah dropped down on the sofa next to the older woman.“I guess I thought I'd be married by now and taking care of my own family.”
“But you refused to have anything to do with the young men who were interested in you while you cared for Matthew's kinner and took care of his house.”
“Don't make it sound like a sacrifice,” she said, remembering how Matthew had said something similar back then. “I loved every minute of helping him. I love those kinner like they're my own.”
She sighed. “But this time, this season with all the weddings … I don't know why, but this year it's affected me.”
Phoebe's eyes were warm. “It had to happen, don't you think? You have so much love inside you, so much caring. It's only natural that you want to share that with a man and raise your own family.”
Hannah laughed and shook her head. “Jenny and I talked about it once. She said I should make a list of what I wanted in a man. She called it a wish list, like I could just take it to God and ask for what I wanted. I told her that's not our way—that we feel God has someone set aside for us.”
“There's nothing wrong with asking God for that man he's set aside for you, nor with telling him what you'd like in your husband. But since He knows what's best for you, He might not have the same timetable as you. And He'll surely send you someone better than you could even imagine. It's His promise to always be more than we expect, don't you think?”
“Yes,” Hannah admitted. She shook her head. “He surely hasn't sent the right man yet. I don't believe anyone can say that Isaac is the right man for me.”
“ Nee. Even Isaac realized that.” Phoebe pressed her lips together, and Hannah realized she was trying to stifle a smile.
She laughed. “Oh, Phoebe, he and I—” She paused as giggles overcame her. “We were like oil and water.”
Her smile faded as she thought about how different the man she'd spent the day with was from her. And yet …
“What?”
“That phrase could describe the way Chris and I got along today. We're such opposites.”
Shocked at what she'd just said, she blinked. “Not that I even thought about us being anything like a couple. I just showed him around. He's just here for a visit and will be gone soon.”
Hannah jumped to her feet and paced the room again. When she turned, she felt disconcerted by Phoebe's expression.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I don't know who's more surprised by what just came out of your mouth—you or me,” Phoebe said finally. “If he's truly so opposite, then why would you even think about him?”
“I'm not!” Hannah grew more agitated.
Phoebe patted the cushion beside her again. “Come, liebchen. Sit before you wear out the floor.”
Collapsing on the sofa, Hannah let Phoebe pull her into her arms. It felt so comforting to have her
“Of course not.” Phoebe lifted her needle and began stitching again.
“I'll probably become en alt maedel.”
The needle fell from Phoebe's fingers. “That's the first time I've heard you talk like that. You will not be an old maid.”
Hannah got up and paced around the room.
“Tell me what's troubling you, child.”
Stopping, Hannah turned to face Phoebe. How she wished she could call back her words. This kind, wise woman who had invited her to stay in her home, to make it her home after Matthew and Jenny had married, shouldn't be privy to such blurted out admissions. Phoebe looked so frail and old these days. She'd insisted nothing was wrong when Hannah had questioned her several times but Hannah wondered.
“I'm sorry. You don't need to listen to me being so childish.I'm not a teenager anymore.”
“Talk to me, Hannah.”
Phoebe's voice sounded surprisingly firm. She patted the cushion next to her on the sofa.
“This is the first autumn I've felt like this,” she confessed.Hannah dropped down on the sofa next to the older woman.“I guess I thought I'd be married by now and taking care of my own family.”
“But you refused to have anything to do with the young men who were interested in you while you cared for Matthew's kinner and took care of his house.”
“Don't make it sound like a sacrifice,” she said, remembering how Matthew had said something similar back then. “I loved every minute of helping him. I love those kinner like they're my own.”
She sighed. “But this time, this season with all the weddings … I don't know why, but this year it's affected me.”
Phoebe's eyes were warm. “It had to happen, don't you think? You have so much love inside you, so much caring. It's only natural that you want to share that with a man and raise your own family.”
Hannah laughed and shook her head. “Jenny and I talked about it once. She said I should make a list of what I wanted in a man. She called it a wish list, like I could just take it to God and ask for what I wanted. I told her that's not our way—that we feel God has someone set aside for us.”
“There's nothing wrong with asking God for that man he's set aside for you, nor with telling him what you'd like in your husband. But since He knows what's best for you, He might not have the same timetable as you. And He'll surely send you someone better than you could even imagine. It's His promise to always be more than we expect, don't you think?”
“Yes,” Hannah admitted. She shook her head. “He surely hasn't sent the right man yet. I don't believe anyone can say that Isaac is the right man for me.”
“ Nee. Even Isaac realized that.” Phoebe pressed her lips together, and Hannah realized she was trying to stifle a smile.
She laughed. “Oh, Phoebe, he and I—” She paused as giggles overcame her. “We were like oil and water.”
Her smile faded as she thought about how different the man she'd spent the day with was from her. And yet …
“What?”
“That phrase could describe the way Chris and I got along today. We're such opposites.”
Shocked at what she'd just said, she blinked. “Not that I even thought about us being anything like a couple. I just showed him around. He's just here for a visit and will be gone soon.”
Hannah jumped to her feet and paced the room again. When she turned, she felt disconcerted by Phoebe's expression.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I don't know who's more surprised by what just came out of your mouth—you or me,” Phoebe said finally. “If he's truly so opposite, then why would you even think about him?”
“I'm not!” Hannah grew more agitated.
Phoebe patted the cushion beside her again. “Come, liebchen. Sit before you wear out the floor.”
Collapsing on the sofa, Hannah let Phoebe pull her into her arms. It felt so comforting to have her
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