Read Online Personal Protection by Tracey Shellito - Free Book Online

floor with me? He would have.”
    “Of course not, but…”
    “There are no buts, Tori. I do what I have to, we all do. It’s my job.”
    She turned her face away, looked out of the window.
    “I’d never hurt you, you know that, don’t you?”
    She was quiet for much too long.
    “Tori?”
    She let herself out of the car. I scrambled to follow.
    “Tori, you don’t think..?”
    She turned at the door to confront me. “I don’t know what to think. It’s not what I expected. You’re not what I expected. I know you sometimes carry a gun, that
you’ve promised to get whoever was responsible for what happened to me. But you didn’t think. You just did it. You didn’t know that man beyond casual acquaintance, but
you’re not even sorry. I’m not sure I want anything to do with that level of violence!”
    I didn’t know what to say.
    I’ve been through this scene too many times. It always ends the same, with me alone. I didn’t want to lose Tori, but I can’t change what I am. I don’t know how to do
anything else. Even if I stopped, the training would always be there, waiting, like a sleeping tiger.
    I hadn’t intended to show off or frighten her. Just get the frustration out of my system. Show her she was safe, that I could protect her as well as any man.
    “Would it help if I said I’m sorry?”
    “No. You wouldn’t mean it and you still wouldn’t feel remorse. You’ve just spent the entire journey gloating over your triumph. That that man’s injury has opened up
the possibility for you to solve the case and win a battle against injustice.”
    “I wasn’t gloating! And what’s so wrong with wanting to solve the crime? It’s your injustice, Tori. A chance to…”
    She sighed. “You’d feel just the same if it was some nameless, faceless client.”
    “No, I wouldn’t. I’d have no personal stake in that.”
    “Can you honestly tell me you don’t feel more strongly about exorcising your frustration than about how I feel?”
    “Yes!”
    She didn’t look convinced. I tried again.
    “I’ve never experienced what you have – I can only imagine the pain and terror you went through. My sympathy with your feelings is more important than making myself feel
better.” I took her hands and looked into her eyes, tried to communicate that to her by touch if she couldn’t see it in my face. “You’re important to me. More important than
getting the culprit. More important than my inadequacy. More important than my frustration.”
    “And if I asked you to stop, not to go after them?”
    “Is that really want you want?”
    “Just answer the question, Randall.”
    “Two days ago you asked me if I’d kill them for you!”
    “Would you stop?”
    I hesitated too long, and she knew me too well. She let go of my hands and stepped away. “Justice means more to you than people, Randall. Getting the villain means more to you than to me.
You’ve got the bit between your teeth. You won’t let go.”
    “Why is that a problem?”
    “You really don’t see it, do you?”
    “No, I don’t. I don’t want to lose you. Help me understand, Tori.”
    “I’m not sure you can. I’d like you to call me a cab. I’d like to go home now.”
    “You can’t! Your flat is...”
    “I’ll live with it.”
    “It isn’t safe!”
    “Neither are you!”
    “Please don’t go.”
    She looked at me sadly, then came forward and touched my face.
    Over her shoulder I saw Cecily in the doorway enjoying our little drama. Then Tori was speaking. Her voice was quiet, her words soft. I almost missed them over the pounding of my heart and the
voice screaming in my head, ‘You’re losing her.’
    “That afternoon I spoke in anger, in fear, I was terrified, abused, I didn’t know what I was saying. When I asked you if you’d kill them for me I meant it. Then. I don’t
mean it now. I want to put it behind me and forget. I don’t want everybody to know. I don’t want people pointing the finger saying,