Read Online Until the Real Thing Comes Along by Elizabeth Berg - Free Book Online

to walk away, then turns back. “Patty?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Who died?”
    I don’t say anything.
    “Besides us, I mean.”
    Again, I say nothing. I feel terrible. And so relieved. Then, “I’m sorry,” I say.
    He nods, disappears down the sidewalk into the darkness.
    I pick up the phone. “Ethan?”
    “I heard that. You didn’t have to do that.”
    “But I did. I … there’s something wrong with me.” I start crying. “Oh, Ethan, he was just
fine
. He was wonderful. And probably my last chance. There’s something really, really wrong with me.”
    “Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’ll come over. Should I come over?”
    “Okay.”
    I am such a bad person. My spirits are just soaring.
    “Wow,” Ethan says, when I open the door.
    “Well.”
    He eyes my cleavage. “Are you … is that
you
?”
    “Wonder Bra. It’s Elaine’s.”
    “Ah.”
    “Is it gross?”
    “No, it’s … wondrous.”
    “Thank you.”
    “So.” He hangs up his coat, goes over to the refrigerator. “What do you have in the way of grief food?”
    “Raw cookie dough?”
    “… umm …”
    “We could make some mashed potatoes.”
    “Yes.
Garlic
mashed.” He closes the refrigerator door, takes a Dutch oven out of my cupboard. I take out a sack of potatoes, a head of beautiful garlic. It is complete, ours for the having.
    “Patty?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Change your dress.”
    “I was going to,” I say. But I wasn’t. I’d forgotten all about it.
    When the potatoes are done, we sit shoulder to shoulder on the sofa, watching TV and talking and eating out of the pan with my biggest serving spoons. It is very, very good.
    We are getting ready to watch a movie when my mother calls to tell me my brother’s wife is pregnant again. I tell her that’s wonderful, the usual drill, quash the ache of jealousy inside myself. Then, “Can I call you back tomorrow?” I say. “We were just going to watch something—it’s starting in a minute.”
    “Oh, sure. Tell Mark I said hello.”
    “Well, it’s … not Mark. It’s Ethan.”
    “Didn’t you tell me you had a date with Mark tonight?”
    “Yes, I did.”
    “But Ethan’s there?”
    “You know what, Mom?” I say. “It’s starting right now. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
    I hang up the phone.
    “My mom says hello,” I tell Ethan.
    He nods, smiles; then leans back into the sofa, his hands clasped behind his head, his feet up on the table. His socks are a beige mini-print, lovely to behold. I watch them as much as the movie.
    In the morning, I call Elaine. “Guess what?”
    “You broke up with Mark.”
    “How do you know?”
    “He called me.”
    A moment.
    “He did?”
    “Yeah. To find out what the deal is with you.”
    “What did you tell him?”
    “I said I didn’t know. And I swear to God, I don’t know.”
    “Yes, you do.”
    “What, you love
Ethan
?”
    “Yes. Yes, I do.”
    “Patty, you need to stop this. It’s … an excuse or something. What is the point in wasting so much energy on someone who is never, ever going to love you back? Cut your losses and move
on”
    “Fuck you, Elaine.”
    She hangs up.
    I call her back.
    “Don’t hang up on me,” I say. “I need you.”
    “Then don’t abuse me.”
    “I’m not abusing you. It’s just … Ethan and me. You don’t understand. If I could just … Listen, I want to tell you something.” I sit down, cross my legs, lower my voice. “Ethan’s cat died, and he hasn’t had sex with anyone for over a year.”
    “Pretty extreme reaction.”
    “No, his cat died and he came over because he felt terrible and we were just, you know, really talking, and he told me he hasn’t had sex in over a year!”
    “And you told Mark to kiss off.”
    “Not really.” I don’t know why she wants to talk about this. That is not why I called her.
    “You did, Patty! He comes over to take you out to this fabulous place and you tell him to get lost. Because Ethan’s
cat
died.”
    “Well, for Christ’s sake,