her—her and Robin, both—from the equation, things would be so much simpler.
So, for better or for worse, that is what I decide to do.
“I know Jeremy owns this building,” I admit.
“See!” Fey exclaims. “There she goes, admitting it again.”
“I never denied it,” I counter.
“So why’d you do it, Lilly?” Robin asks. “Why’d you want us to stay in his building so bad?”
“Because it is his,” I say. “Because I trust Jeremy. Because I wanted to see him, without either of you knowing, before our meeting together.”
Fey gasps.
“Oh, come on,” I snarl. “Is that really such a surprise? You two, interfering with everything I did, meddling where you’re not wanted. Is it really so shocking that I wanted the freedom to speak with Jeremy without you hanging on every word? That I wanted some privacy ?”
“So…did you?” Robin asks softly.
“As a matter of fact, I did,” I tell them. I’m fully committed now. There is no backing out. “He came to visit me last night. We…talked.” I stumble over the words. “And more.” My cheeks flush red.
“And more,” Fey mimics, still not looking at me. “That’s what it all comes down to for her, Robin! See? She’s addicted to the things Jeremy ,” she emphasizes his name, “makes her feel. And she’s made it clear to us, time and time again, just how little we’re wanted.”
She turns to me. Her face is a horrible mask of fury and anger. “Fine, Lilly,” she spits, addressing me for the first time since all of this began. “Fine! You say you want to be left alone? You’ve got it. You can have your wish. Robin and I are leaving. I thought maybe we could drill some sense into you. But you’ve made it clear—with your actions, more than your words—how little we’re really needed.”
She yanks Robin up. “You won’t be hearing from us, or seeing us, ever again. Don’t bother calling. I won’t answer. Not when I know that you’re still with…with…with him !”
She drags Robin out of my room after her. “Oh, and Lilly?” she adds, turning around just before slamming the door between our rooms. “Don’t bother coming to the wedding. Your invitation is officially rescinded.”
In the silence that follows, I fall on the bed.
Mission accomplished , I think, wearily.
Chapter Six
For the next hour or so, I’m bombarded by raised voices from the adjoining room.
Fey and Robin are arguing. They still haven’t left. The uncertainty of whether they will or not has me on edge.
I can’t make out the things they are saying. Even if I could, I still wouldn’t listen.
I am not the bitch I have made myself out to be. But there was no other way. I couldn’t persuade Fey with words alone. Certainly not while still keeping things civil.
Eventually their voices stop. I hear the front door of their room open and close. I let out a breath that I feel like I’ve been holding for years.
And with that, it’s done.
I’ve successfully isolated myself from the outside world. Everything I know, everything I do, will now revolve around Jeremy—which is how it always should have been.
Trying to maintain cordial relations with Fey, given what she knows, given her behavior, was a pipe dream. I should have understood that before making the trip out to Boston. Jeremy alone gives me enough to handle. I cannot juggle my relationship with him while simultaneously trying to balance mine with Fey.
Perhaps the wish for that was a remnant of the naivety I once had. My naivety and optimism .
Because when I was still in college, surrounded by so much potential—no matter how hard I was working, or how busy my life may have been—I still had that magical sense of opportunity. It’s cliché, I know. But I feel—just a little bit—like the world was my oyster.
Of course, it helped that all the advisors and concentration advisorswere paid to make us believe that.
Still, that’s a large part of what made Yale—despite all the
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