heart. It’s actually a huge turn on for me.
“Thank you.” I try to remember to use the manners my mama taught me. I also know it offends him slightly when I don’t use them. For an asshole personality he has really good manners in public and even not in public.
There is a part of me that is excited about being with Tate one more time. Yet there is a part of me who wonders if I’ve lost my mind. Why would I torture myself this way? Knowing nothing can ever happen between us but sex.
Another night rushes back to me
“LuAnn is asking questions about you.”
“Me specifically or why you are so busy all the time?”
“Why I’m busy and who SHE is.”
“What did you tell her?”
Tate and I are laying on the couch together watching TV. I’m not sure why he brought this up. I have such mixed emotions. I know I’m married and not free to claim Tate as mine but I want too. I love him. A secret part of me wants a future with him when Steve is gone but that is not something I can let myself believe in. Tate may not want the same thing and he has crazy LuAnn.
“I keep telling her that it doesn’t matter. She’s not going to stop me from doing what I want to do. She’s never been able to.”
“Your relationship with her is so confusing.”
The leather of the couch crinkles as I shift to make myself more comfortable.
“I mean you act like you despise her yet you are still with her. Let her publically claim you as her fiancé. All the while telling me and your friends how much you want to be rid of her.”
“I do want to get rid of her but I have to pay back the damn money she loaned me. Mistake one was falling for the crazy chick, mistake two borrowing money to get my business open. ”
I don’t say anything. I honestly don’t know what to say to him. This relationship we have is not normal. There is no handbook, no guidelines. We just take it day by day. Deal with things as they come up. The last four months have been rocky. The fights. The almost break ups. It’s not easy being in an open relationship.
“You have nothing to say?” Tate asks me. I can almost picture his eyebrows lifted as he questions me. Of course I have a ton of things I want to say but honestly do I have a right?
“What do you want me to say? You know I hate the way she treats you. I hate the way you get stressed out when you deal with her. I hate that I have to share you with her but I can’t do anything about it only you can.”
Guess I had more to say about it than I thought I did. Tate’s arms tighten around me.
“If only we met at a different time and things could be different for us.”
I feel him there. Sometimes I wish the same thing. I wish I met him when I was single and he was single. I wish that we had a traditional relationship. Instead we have a cluster fuck that keeps me bordering insanity.
“Yea that would have been nice.”
We lapse into silence as we watch a sitcom about a couple who are dating and falling in love. It only makes my desire for Tate hit harder. One of these days I think to myself I will be able to be happy in love again. Steve and I had a wonderful life together but our marriage is over in the traditional sense. Tate will never be able to give me the traditional relationship I want. Yet I don’t want to lose him either. I’ve come to care deeply for him. Love him. I want to be there for him but how?
I have to stop thinking about this it drives me crazy. I’m so confused by my own feelings. I’m confused by Tate’s feelings. I just wish it could be simpler for us. That’s the only thing I do know. How to make it happen is a whole other can of worms.
I want to lay here wrapped in Tate’s arms and just enjoy the moment. I love the peace and quiet that comes from being at his house. There is no urgent need to take care of someone there isn’t a teenager needing me to do something for them. It’s just laid back. Worry free. Maybe not completely worry free but close enough. Being
“Thank you.” I try to remember to use the manners my mama taught me. I also know it offends him slightly when I don’t use them. For an asshole personality he has really good manners in public and even not in public.
There is a part of me that is excited about being with Tate one more time. Yet there is a part of me who wonders if I’ve lost my mind. Why would I torture myself this way? Knowing nothing can ever happen between us but sex.
Another night rushes back to me
“LuAnn is asking questions about you.”
“Me specifically or why you are so busy all the time?”
“Why I’m busy and who SHE is.”
“What did you tell her?”
Tate and I are laying on the couch together watching TV. I’m not sure why he brought this up. I have such mixed emotions. I know I’m married and not free to claim Tate as mine but I want too. I love him. A secret part of me wants a future with him when Steve is gone but that is not something I can let myself believe in. Tate may not want the same thing and he has crazy LuAnn.
“I keep telling her that it doesn’t matter. She’s not going to stop me from doing what I want to do. She’s never been able to.”
“Your relationship with her is so confusing.”
The leather of the couch crinkles as I shift to make myself more comfortable.
“I mean you act like you despise her yet you are still with her. Let her publically claim you as her fiancé. All the while telling me and your friends how much you want to be rid of her.”
“I do want to get rid of her but I have to pay back the damn money she loaned me. Mistake one was falling for the crazy chick, mistake two borrowing money to get my business open. ”
I don’t say anything. I honestly don’t know what to say to him. This relationship we have is not normal. There is no handbook, no guidelines. We just take it day by day. Deal with things as they come up. The last four months have been rocky. The fights. The almost break ups. It’s not easy being in an open relationship.
“You have nothing to say?” Tate asks me. I can almost picture his eyebrows lifted as he questions me. Of course I have a ton of things I want to say but honestly do I have a right?
“What do you want me to say? You know I hate the way she treats you. I hate the way you get stressed out when you deal with her. I hate that I have to share you with her but I can’t do anything about it only you can.”
Guess I had more to say about it than I thought I did. Tate’s arms tighten around me.
“If only we met at a different time and things could be different for us.”
I feel him there. Sometimes I wish the same thing. I wish I met him when I was single and he was single. I wish that we had a traditional relationship. Instead we have a cluster fuck that keeps me bordering insanity.
“Yea that would have been nice.”
We lapse into silence as we watch a sitcom about a couple who are dating and falling in love. It only makes my desire for Tate hit harder. One of these days I think to myself I will be able to be happy in love again. Steve and I had a wonderful life together but our marriage is over in the traditional sense. Tate will never be able to give me the traditional relationship I want. Yet I don’t want to lose him either. I’ve come to care deeply for him. Love him. I want to be there for him but how?
I have to stop thinking about this it drives me crazy. I’m so confused by my own feelings. I’m confused by Tate’s feelings. I just wish it could be simpler for us. That’s the only thing I do know. How to make it happen is a whole other can of worms.
I want to lay here wrapped in Tate’s arms and just enjoy the moment. I love the peace and quiet that comes from being at his house. There is no urgent need to take care of someone there isn’t a teenager needing me to do something for them. It’s just laid back. Worry free. Maybe not completely worry free but close enough. Being
Similar Books
