Read Online Lost In Our Darkness (Demons Of Darkness Book 2) by Elizabeth Hayes - Free Book Online
Authors: Elizabeth Hayes
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that we had gone through she finally admits it. But she had to admit it now, when I was married, I just finally admitted to myself that I love my wife but Trix, fuck it was always her. I had always loved her. There is just something there and I don’t know what to do about it. Trix and I have a history. A fucked up history but a history nonetheless.
I stood in my room and leaned against my dresser wondering what the fuck I was going to do. I know the smart thing would be to let Trix go and work on my marriage with Zoelle. Give Zoelle the life I had promised her. But at what cost to myself would I pay for that. Would I ever be completely happy with Zoelle? And right now I can’t even concentrate on her when the only one I can think about is Trix. Trix and our son. A son I don’t even know. I have been avoiding spending time with him and ignoring my own son because I didn’t want to get attached to him only to have Trix take off with him. But she just said she was sticking around. I can’t make her stay if she changes her mind. And I have no idea what is going on between her and Payne. He’s nomad. So if things between them are serious she may take off with him. I can’t let that happen.
Shit. I looked at my watch. I needed to get back to the hospital and check on my girls. My girls. Fuck I was so screwed. I needed to figure my own shit out before I worried about anyone else’s. I pulled my cut on over my shirt and headed out the door. I needed to get there and back so I could talk to Trix and spend some time with my son.
When I pulled up to the hospital I still didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do. For now I was just going to wing it. Although I did that before and look where it had gotten me. I almost lost Trix, then I got her, then I lost her again. I’m not sure if I can handle losing her again. I needed my head in the game. I needed to make sure my club was good and the threats against us had gone away. I needed to lift the lockdown but I was being selfish. I didn’t want Trix to leave the clubhouse. I liked knowing where she was and who she was with. I knew as soon as I lifted it she was going to be the first one out the door. I needed to get her back to our old house before that. Tonight.
I walked down the hall to Zoelle’s room. The door was slightly ajar and I could see her sleeping as Calissta lay in a bassinet next to her bed. I pushed the door open as quietly as I could and made my way over to Calissta. She started kicking so I picked her up and held her to my chest. She started crying and I wasn’t sure what to do.
“Hey. I think she’s hungry.” Zoelle sat up and handed me a bottle. I took it from her unsure as to what I was supposed to do. “Come here Nix.” I sat down on the bed next to Zoelle and she helped me position the bottle. Calissta latched onto the bottle quickly. Her eyes were open staring back at me as she drank from the bottle.
“Please tell me that wasn’t a prospect standing outside the door while you were gone.”
“If I can’t be here, Zoelle, you know I have to have eyes on you at all times. No matter what, I need to know you and the baby are safe. I don’t care if you don’t like it but you don’t get a say in this so please don’t try and argue with me.”
“Whatever Nix. This shit is getting old real quick. You know I love you and I love our life together but I can’t live knowing there is someone in the shadows watching me as if I’m a kid. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Zoe. I’m not budging on this.”
“Fine.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and leaned back in the bed.
“Has the doctor said when you can go home?”
“Tomorrow. Here, let me take her so I can burp her.” She reached her arms out and took Calissta from my arms. I knew she was pissed about having people watching her but I couldn’t take a chance with her. Not only because she was my wife but because she was the mother of my daughter. The target on her
I stood in my room and leaned against my dresser wondering what the fuck I was going to do. I know the smart thing would be to let Trix go and work on my marriage with Zoelle. Give Zoelle the life I had promised her. But at what cost to myself would I pay for that. Would I ever be completely happy with Zoelle? And right now I can’t even concentrate on her when the only one I can think about is Trix. Trix and our son. A son I don’t even know. I have been avoiding spending time with him and ignoring my own son because I didn’t want to get attached to him only to have Trix take off with him. But she just said she was sticking around. I can’t make her stay if she changes her mind. And I have no idea what is going on between her and Payne. He’s nomad. So if things between them are serious she may take off with him. I can’t let that happen.
Shit. I looked at my watch. I needed to get back to the hospital and check on my girls. My girls. Fuck I was so screwed. I needed to figure my own shit out before I worried about anyone else’s. I pulled my cut on over my shirt and headed out the door. I needed to get there and back so I could talk to Trix and spend some time with my son.
When I pulled up to the hospital I still didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do. For now I was just going to wing it. Although I did that before and look where it had gotten me. I almost lost Trix, then I got her, then I lost her again. I’m not sure if I can handle losing her again. I needed my head in the game. I needed to make sure my club was good and the threats against us had gone away. I needed to lift the lockdown but I was being selfish. I didn’t want Trix to leave the clubhouse. I liked knowing where she was and who she was with. I knew as soon as I lifted it she was going to be the first one out the door. I needed to get her back to our old house before that. Tonight.
I walked down the hall to Zoelle’s room. The door was slightly ajar and I could see her sleeping as Calissta lay in a bassinet next to her bed. I pushed the door open as quietly as I could and made my way over to Calissta. She started kicking so I picked her up and held her to my chest. She started crying and I wasn’t sure what to do.
“Hey. I think she’s hungry.” Zoelle sat up and handed me a bottle. I took it from her unsure as to what I was supposed to do. “Come here Nix.” I sat down on the bed next to Zoelle and she helped me position the bottle. Calissta latched onto the bottle quickly. Her eyes were open staring back at me as she drank from the bottle.
“Please tell me that wasn’t a prospect standing outside the door while you were gone.”
“If I can’t be here, Zoelle, you know I have to have eyes on you at all times. No matter what, I need to know you and the baby are safe. I don’t care if you don’t like it but you don’t get a say in this so please don’t try and argue with me.”
“Whatever Nix. This shit is getting old real quick. You know I love you and I love our life together but I can’t live knowing there is someone in the shadows watching me as if I’m a kid. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Zoe. I’m not budging on this.”
“Fine.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and leaned back in the bed.
“Has the doctor said when you can go home?”
“Tomorrow. Here, let me take her so I can burp her.” She reached her arms out and took Calissta from my arms. I knew she was pissed about having people watching her but I couldn’t take a chance with her. Not only because she was my wife but because she was the mother of my daughter. The target on her
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